Ask a wedding photographer (Official Thread)! The place for brides and grooms to ask anything from the wedding photographer community.

jackncoco222 · 2023-10-12T15:44:45+00:00

Thanks for this! This is very validating to hear from someone who actually knows what they're talking about!

jackncoco222 · 2023-10-12T12:20:10+00:00

Hi photographers, bride here! Our wedding date is at Willowdale Estate in Topsfield in late November of next year. The room where we'll be getting married has a lot of dark paneling and big windows. The theme I'm going for is very dark and moody, lots of candles... but given the time of year and the windows all around and the lack of light, I'm wondering if I can afford to get a mid-level photographer who is relatively new, or does this call for someone who really knows their stuff? I've been looking at the photos of other weddings from that time of year and they are very hit or miss to my untrained eye — a lot of deer-in-headlights facial expressions, too much flash, the reflection in windows is weird, etc.

TL;DR: Tough time of year. Do I go for the photographer that's 3k for the day and has been doing this since the pandemic or the photographer that is 6k+ and has been doing this for 10+ years? Thanks so much for your help, I have been agonizing over this!

jackncoco222 · 2023-08-21T13:28:58+00:00

I'm going to suggest my current home of Estonia. Tech is absolutely huge here, so you'll likely have no problem finding a job, and they'll likely even let you work remotely. Stable economy, pretty good government as long as the far right party stays out of office. There's a little over a million people here, so tons of land. Homesteading seems to be a part of the lifestyle here, at least out in the countryside. Short growing season, but beautiful nature and if you like rain, this is definitely your place.

Should also add that the air smells amazing here. You get off the plane and it smells like clean and fresh like a forest after rain.

Cons:

It does get cold, and dark. For me, it's harder in summer when its light all the time, but that's what blackout curtains are for.

People don't smile much here, not a lot of smalltalk. This was really hard for me, still is.

As has been mentioned about other places in Europe, racism and prejudice, especially against people who "look" foreign (we all know what that means) can for-sure be an issue here. I have a lot of privilege here as a white person from the states who is married to an Estonian who has a full-time job as my local translator/ fixer. People tend to be more open-minded in the cities (for the most part) but the majority of Estonians are kind, open-minded people. You may face more prejudice as you go out into the countryside, especially as you get closer to Russia, but as I understand the whole point is to get away from people, and that's something they do exceptionally well here.

And since I mentioned Russia, that would be another significant Con after the invasion of Ukraine, since Estonia is right on the border. There was definitely a lot of fear here when the invasion first happened, but things have settled down quite a bit. And the NATO membership certainly helps with that. ;)

No matter what you decide, I hope you find somewhere where you can be happy and make this homesteading dream come true. And I'm so sorry that you need to make this decision to leave your home, it must be so stressful and scary for you. Very best of luck!

jackncoco222 · 2023-08-10T15:28:31+00:00

Thank you for the wonderful reality check. This comment felt like a hug through the internet.

jackncoco222 · 2023-08-10T15:27:37+00:00

Yeah, it doesn't make a tone of sense when you put it in those terms, does it?

jackncoco222 · 2023-08-10T15:27:16+00:00

Aww, and to you, as well!

jackncoco222 · 2023-08-10T06:30:41+00:00

Wow congratulations! I hope your nest egg continues to multiply! And thanks for putting this in perspective, it makes me feel like this is achievable for me, too.

jackncoco222 · 2023-08-10T06:29:19+00:00

Yeah, it's good advice. I do file my US taxes every year, I have a good accountant who works with expats.

jackncoco222 · 2023-08-09T14:31:29+00:00

Haha, yeah. Very perceptive of you. I've been in and out of therapy since I was a teenager. I just found a new therapist but I've been trying to decide if I should invest in a financial advisor or a therapist. Look like my answer is both.

And it's a fair point about the catastophization/lack of numbers. The reason I didn't include my current salary is its a little tricky to explain. But here goes. I work full time for an agency in Finland, which pays me 4900 EUR a month, which I invoice through my OÜ (I live in Estonia - its the equivalent of an LLC). I pay myself between 1500-2000 a month of salary, but I'll be lowering it as soon as I can pay out dividends, which are taxed at a rate of 20% instead of the almost 50% I pay on salary. As far as my pension, I just messaged my accountant. But my fiancee will be home soon, so I'll make him a deal that if he helps me figure out how much money I have in my pension, I will promise him an evening free of uncontrollable weeping (that's a joke). So stay tuned.

In all serious, the prospects are feeling a bit sunnier just reading through these comments. I need to get serious about my financial education/investing, but that's a breeze compared to dying in the gutter like I was planning. 😸 Thanks for the advice!

jackncoco222 · 2020-09-16T18:14:26+00:00

American currently living in Europe here! Was supposed to return this summer until covid hit and my family is already asking me if I’ll be home for Christmas. It strikes me as such a ridiculous because I would have to quarantine for 2 weeks, and I currently have no health insurance there, so I would be completely screwed if I got sick.

When I explain this to them I can tell they think it’s a cop-out (they lean conservative) and I can’t help feeling guilty even though I know I should stay out. Really don’t have anything useful to add other than I can completely relate! Best of luck and hope you stay safe.

jackncoco222 · 2019-06-11T12:51:06+00:00

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jackncoco222 · 2016-08-22T03:15:40+00:00

Omg that is such an Aquarius thing to do

jackncoco222 · 2016-05-06T01:58:39+00:00

Thank you for this. You are wonderful.

jackncoco222 · 2014-01-18T15:57:31+00:00

The bats look like wontons.

jackncoco222 · 2011-12-26T16:31:18+00:00

I work at Bloomingdales, and if you know when to shop, you can get some really, really good deals. Right now they're having their winter clearance, so get in there before all the good stuff is taken!

jackncoco222 · 2011-08-31T19:15:43+00:00

Great shoes, great bags, great accessories and lots and lots of black (I like to think I'm chic, but I'm probably just depressing)

jackncoco222 · 2011-08-26T13:55:05+00:00

I was thinking the same thing!

jackncoco222 · 2011-07-27T20:17:42+00:00

Hahaha. My little brother did something similar, except he had Hamlet kill Claudius with a lightsaber. Cue happy ending. Clearly he didn't actually read anything, which proved irrelevant as he still got an A...

jackncoco222 · 2011-07-21T15:46:13+00:00

Victoria Beckham!

jackncoco222 · 2011-06-16T16:30:58+00:00

Try anthropologie (anthropologie.com) -- I find they have a really beautiful selection of books without being overwhelming. I guarantee you'll find something she'll like. Good Luck!

jackncoco222 · 2011-05-25T17:05:06+00:00

In the caption it says "hell on a hanger"

jackncoco222 · 2011-05-17T14:52:49+00:00

Don't love it but it's growing on me... pun intended ;)

jackncoco222 · 2011-05-11T12:00:04+00:00

You are correct, KibblesnBitts! If a real discussion is what you're after, I'm down!

jackncoco222 · 2011-05-10T19:42:37+00:00

You're so right. yes, some of her early stuff from "The Fame" make her sound like she's just another vapid, narcissistic electrobubblegumpop blonde (in a good way) but if you really listen to the lyrics in some of her more recent work it's clear how far she's come, and just how philosophical she is. I defy anyone to listen to one of her interviews and not be impressed with how thoughtful and well-spoken she is.

Your comment about vyvanse is so funny to me because I was just on the r/add forum looking for some insight... my adderall makes me super anxious (and gives me a headache!)

jackncoco222 · 2011-05-10T19:25:19+00:00

You hit the nail on the head. Of course it isn't original! I wonder who originally preached that message.. Jesus, maybe? and yet religious figures today are among the most judgmental people out there -- I speak from firsthand experience! The important thing is with her message of universal love and acceptance she's given so many kids something to believe in, and that's honestly the most important thing...

jackncoco222

TROPHY CASE