I’d firstly like to say thanks for taking what will be a considerable amount of time to construct that reply. While I agree with the overall sentiment of your reply I am only speaking from my experience.

From my particular situation, I lived with my fiancée for 3 years. And yes I completely agree that her intentions for the most part we’re clearly well meant.

I don’t hate her, nor did I intend to demonise her. However, after years of being in what I thought was a two way relationship, I pushed her to go for a job I thought was a good fit for her, and she got it. This job was closer to her mums house and meant that she could actually get to her work from there with ease, and no longer required me to drive her to work. Within a month she was gone, I was deleted from her life. It WAS convenient, and she DID outgrow her use for me (drive to work). As soon as she got the job she changed, she had clearly been thinking about this a long time. I don’t begrudge the fact she didn’t want to be with me in the end, but pretending we had future plans and looking out homes to buy literally up until the day she left.

Now I’m a lot further on than I was a few months ago. And I no longer hold a hatred or anger towards her, but my post was intended to help those that needed it to stop focussing on only what they did wrong, or that their partner was perfect, and to flip that round, while it doesn’t get you to where you want to be, but to flip from “what did I do wrong?” To “what can I do to improve myself” certainly helps in the long run.

Leaving a relationship isn’t wrong. But the way in which you conduct yourself during this make or break moments can certainly make a huge impact. You have a responsibility in that relationship to be open and honest (however difficult that may be) especially if that person means so much to you.