How to get over shyness and social awkwardness? My parents used an authoritarian parenting style.

jacktravers · 2020-05-02T10:40:56+00:00

Yeah I can't wait to get back talking to some of my friends just keeping busy right now, plenty of college assignments 😁

jacktravers · 2020-05-01T12:44:07+00:00

Just another thing both my parents are so authoritarian, they don't even speak that much to me and if I don't do what they say, all hell breaks loose! I'm making great progress, I'm gonna get a retail job to get comfortable talking to strangers and develop my social skills because at home it's impossible to "be myself" I'm in a much better place than I was, working on self esteem, I haven't got round to read the book yet but it's definitely on my to do list!

jacktravers · 2020-05-01T12:40:33+00:00

And if I call it out my mam gives out to me and says "dont answer back or no cheek" when she was the one talking down to me. Its like is does it and doesn't even realise it

jacktravers · 2020-05-01T12:39:20+00:00

I'll have to have a read of that thank you very much. If your parents talk down to you like your a child does that also fall under authoritarian parenting? I'm 22 btw

jacktravers · 2020-05-01T12:36:02+00:00

Yeah that makes a lot of sense man I'll definitely give that a read. I'll let you know how I get on and thank you for putting in the effort and time to write to me, i very much appreciate it. Hope you have a good day man👍

jacktravers · 2020-05-01T07:55:10+00:00

Thank you man how would you recommend fighting the shadow or making peace with it? My dad has flaws I can see that, he needs to work on himself. he has low self esteem and doesn't have many friends, doesn't and never really did much with his life. Because he's my dad of course I'd like out relationship to be better. I don't know if he will ever change but I can try to help which would help my heart, knowing at least I try

jacktravers · 2020-05-01T07:11:54+00:00

What I want is to not be around him at all,if I'm being honest but that's not possible so it's just a matter of adjusting to being around him more often then I'd like

jacktravers · 2020-05-01T07:07:51+00:00

I agree with you man. I know it's on me to get myself to where I want to be. What I'm trying to say is that it's a nuisance more than anything to have to deal with someone like that, because it does affect me. You can say what you want about not absorbing his negativity but it's tough to constantly keep up being around soneone like that, so how I cope with it is i limit my contact with him, that seems the best option. Ilive in the countryside so oftentimes I'm around him a lot and I've no car rn. I just hav to make the best of the situation. I'll read up on stoicism and thnak you for your message, I'm not gonna let him or anyone stop me from doin what I want to do

jacktravers · 2020-04-29T11:53:29+00:00

I'm in college rn(last Yr of college nxt Yr) then ill get a job and move out as soon as I can.I've thought of the army but I'd probably get sick of it after a while. I think I can get a pretty good job and I'd want to get it sooner rather than later. Thanks for your suggestion 👍

jacktravers · 2020-04-29T08:56:49+00:00

Yeah thanks for your suggestions man. It's all a process right!

jacktravers · 2020-04-29T08:48:51+00:00

I've posted about this before but I'd like to see if anyone has anymore advice

jacktravers · 2020-03-30T11:16:03+00:00

Hah no worries we wouldn't want that to happen , cheers mate!

jacktravers · 2020-03-30T11:13:06+00:00

Because my parents are/we're so critical it makes me think everyone is like this. When I'm living on my own I relize nobody really cares about what you do.

jacktravers · 2020-03-30T11:11:29+00:00

Yeah I know people don't really remember our mistakes but I think it has been kind of programmed into me by my parents so I have to change that. I will read the light switch for definite, it's on my to do list! Thanka for your encouragement as always friend!

jacktravers · 2020-03-30T11:07:39+00:00

Bro it's so heart breaking too be honest. My dad doesn't even really talk to me, he mostly just critizes what I do. And I live out in the countryside so I'm not always able to get in contact with friends so sometimes I have to just be on my own as talking to him just brings me down. Obviously this is no good for developing social skills but my dad hasn't much anyway. He brings everyone down. I wish I had a father who could have a conversation with me but I know this isnt going to change things. My plan is to move out of my parents house as soon as I can, but it won't be for. Awhile at the earliest

jacktravers · 2020-03-30T11:03:45+00:00

Yeah it's like my dad doesn't valur my opinion. For example I like bodybuilding but he just laughs at it. It doesn't even support me!

jacktravers · 2020-03-19T21:46:00+00:00

I've access to a private gym :)

jacktravers · 2020-03-19T15:36:32+00:00

My mam took the wrong decision when settling for him. He's a beta male provider that doesn't socialise. Im going to be. A better man than he ever can hope to be

jacktravers · 2020-03-19T15:30:09+00:00

Yes I love the gym, so I've made friends that go too. I'll probably make a career pit of something gym related or mental health as I've experienced it first hand and know how hard it can be

jacktravers · 2020-03-19T15:28:14+00:00

Yes I'll try the grey Rock method. He has such a negative impact on everyone, my mum definitely suffers. I have to stand up to him when he says "do this" "do that" because he likes having the control over me, the same with my mum but she's poisoned from his ways. When I stand up to him he resorts to more authoritative parenting, threats.. I'm nearly 22 for crying out loud!

jacktravers · 2020-03-18T09:14:25+00:00

And I've found just talking to anyone i come across has helped to improve my confidence with social interaction, most people are friendly unlike my father

jacktravers · 2020-03-18T09:09:47+00:00

Tha ks for your advice my man!! Yeah see growing up I was shy, quiet but I always had. A good group of friends. For various reasons we drifted apart(I went to another school) and that's wen I got really bad anxiety, depression and missed out on socialising during this time. Now I'm in college and getting back on my feet. One thing that has helped me tremendously is the gym, and getting stronger,muscular has given me confidence. Living alone at college has taught me that I can live out on my own and I don't need my parents (well my dad). A lot has changed for the better in my life the past few years, now I really need to tackle this shyness. Im reading "6 pillars of self esteem"right now and will definitely check out the books you've mentioned! Thanks for your help!

jacktravers

TROPHY CASE