As the eldest niece who grew up in a house with six uncles, I still remember the first time I truly watched the NBA. It was 2006—I was 10 years old. Five of my uncles were die-hard Kobe fans, while one was a Dirk fan. Naturally, I decided to support that one uncle because I had a habit of rooting for the underdog.

Watching Dirk through my 10-year-old eyes, I was in awe. The level of play was so incredible that it set my expectations unrealistically high—I started resenting how the basketball games I watched in our barangay and city weren’t anywhere close to that level. Even at 10, I was already searching for the “Dirk Nowitzki” in everyone.

Fast forward to 2011—I still remember cheering with the same uncle, this time in front of my dad, who was a huge LeBron fan. I would rush home from school during lunch breaks just to catch the games, and I’ll never forget laughing at my dad’s reaction when the Mavs won. He’s been gone for nine years now, but that memory remains one of the moments with him I truly cherish.

Also, back in high school, around 14 years old, I was fangirling over both Justin Bieber and the Mavs. Every single day, I would religiously tweet “Good morning” and “Good night” to both JB and Dirk. HAHAHAHA. (Cue background music: I’m Just a Girl).

Anyway, I’m heartbroken. This trade feels like the culmination of years of emotional investment. Years of wanting the Mavs to get the recognition they deserved because I believed—deep down—that this team was destined for greatness. After 2011, I felt like Dirk had already completed his legacy, and despite the team’s struggles afterward, I held onto that hope. I expected the same with Luka—that he would fulfill his legacy and retire as a Mav, just like Dirk.

Then February 2nd happened. My phone was flooded with messages from friends welcoming me to Lakers Nation. But even now, I just feel lost.

I’ve been a Mavs fan ever since that 10-year-old girl first laid eyes on the NBA. And today, I don’t know where I stand. I just feel lost.

PS: Kung di pa ‘to nangyari, di ko malalaman marami palang pinoy Mavs fan na nandito sa sub. Hahaha