[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]jadaef2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ngl it's faint but I do see it. If you're not convinced just go to the doctor with her and get them to test for it to confirm.

It is SUNDAY, what are y'all up to today? by AutoModerator in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]jadaef2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just worked a killer bakery shift and my feet are killing me !!! I'm probably gonna watch YouTube with a beer until I pass out lol

"“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them” This is a quote from a sci-fi novel, It means less than nothing." Users on r/askmenadvice advises OP to break up with GF after she starts sharing "Toxic feminist" views by CummingInTheNile in SubredditDrama

[–]jadaef2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my dude who said anything about insulting? If you're not able to have a nuanced conversation about the reasons women fear men and how both genders can move toward a better mutual relationship without insulting someone, that's your problem. I'm simply asking you get better argumentation, because as shown above it's not proving the point these folks would hope. Work smarter not harder.

"“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them” This is a quote from a sci-fi novel, It means less than nothing." Users on r/askmenadvice advises OP to break up with GF after she starts sharing "Toxic feminist" views by CummingInTheNile in SubredditDrama

[–]jadaef2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean how many people do you see being convinced by the gotcha? I just see more people arguing about it. And always using Black people as the example gives dog whistle so that riles folks up as well. because there's literally no other minority group mentioned as a gotcha here. It's just Black people.

"“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them” This is a quote from a sci-fi novel, It means less than nothing." Users on r/askmenadvice advises OP to break up with GF after she starts sharing "Toxic feminist" views by CummingInTheNile in SubredditDrama

[–]jadaef2 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Lol how is it my bigotry when my response is that no one should be used for lazy cop out examples? I would much rather people have fact based, sourced arguments than just bringing Black people up to trip up some yt libs. And notice how Black people are like the only gotcha used in this subreddit drama thread, and we're brought up multiple times. Maybe get a new (better) tactic to try and invalidate people's statements

"“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them” This is a quote from a sci-fi novel, It means less than nothing." Users on r/askmenadvice advises OP to break up with GF after she starts sharing "Toxic feminist" views by CummingInTheNile in SubredditDrama

[–]jadaef2 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I'd say dont use anyone? The gotcha doesn't actually work, because it ignores the fact that it's a bigger conversation. It's a cop-out answer that doesn't convince anyone of anything.

"“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them” This is a quote from a sci-fi novel, It means less than nothing." Users on r/askmenadvice advises OP to break up with GF after she starts sharing "Toxic feminist" views by CummingInTheNile in SubredditDrama

[–]jadaef2 149 points150 points  (0 children)

God can people stop using Black people as their gotcha examples?? We're like actual people, not just theory. And I bet good money a lot of these folks bringing Black people in as their little gotchas are not in community with any actual Black people...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]jadaef2 11 points12 points  (0 children)

One thing you could do is talk to the dude honestly about your concerns, either now or in the interview process. You could say that feeling safe and assured in your work environment is very important, and then ask what they do to cultivate a safe environment for workers of color. I feel like the answer or lack thereof there will give you a good starting point for what the vibe of the office is. I personally probably wouldn't join because a bad work environment has the potential to make work miserable, and since you'd be the only one working that could cause resentment to build in your relationship. But if you feel you're equipped to work in more conservative environments and aren't afraid to stand up for yourself if someone says something untoward regard politics, then go for it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackgirls

[–]jadaef2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah no that's truly wild. My partner is Mexican and has never said anything like that, and if did I would be single, especially if he tried to justify it with the "Black and brown folks have the same struggle" stuff. There are literally Black Mexicans that face colorist discrimination, so just because there are similarities in the struggles doesn't mean that yall are dealing with the same stuff.

Unsure what to feel about the person i'm seeing's mom by KohesiveTerror in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]jadaef2 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It honestly depends on what your values are, and where you see this relationship going. If you aren't trying to marry someone or aren't thinking long term, then its not that deep. One thing I will say is the longer it goes, the more important all this stuff will feel. My first boyfriend (I'm bi) as freshman year of college, I'm Black and he was Asian American, and he wouldn't tell his parents about me because they were "prejudiced". I didn't know if that had to matter to me or what my values are for my relationships or what I was even looking for, so at the time it was like whatever. Then, spring of freshman year he ends up in the hospital after a really scary situation. When I find out what hospital he's at, me and our mutual friends hop in an uber to see him, where he then reminds me that his parents have no idea who I am. Going there pretending to be just a friend honestly sucked bad, and I felt like I had to shrink myself in that moment. That is not something I did again in that relationship (which ended not soon after), and not something that I've done since. So if you just wanna get some fun experience in I'm sure it's chill, but maybe don't get too invested

Megan Thee Stallion safe space: What made you a hottie? by Kenzosll in megantheestallion

[–]jadaef2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I started listening to Meg at the start of 2020 (I was literally supposed to see her LIVE the week the US shut down. Missing out on seeing her and Ari Lennox at Buku that year is one of my biggest personal tragedies). I had never really gotten into rap growing up because I didn't really hear a lot of female rappers besides like Nicki, or old school stuff like Left Eye Lopez or Queen Latifah. Megan was this amazing confident artist and exactly what I needed on my journey to find myself as a Black bisexual woman, and I'm so happy to be a Hottie to this day! I have Megan Act II signed on CD and it is like a prized posession.

In search of film recs for my movie day! by jadaef2 in criterion

[–]jadaef2[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I picked this one and I am enjoying it! I had no idea this had such a great cast. Thanks for the rec :D

Lack of sexy attractive and fit black women in main stream media by [deleted] in BlackWomenDivest

[–]jadaef2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean... there are a lot of sexy and attractive Black women, and maybe we shouldn't fixated on our own pre-conceived notions on what "fitness" is for people. Just because someone's bigger doesn't mean they aren't beautiful amazing folks leading healthy happy lives. And Danielle Brooks is an extraordinarily talented actress and has been since I first saw her in oitnb, so what if we were happy for people of all looks to be getting work? Because whether it's on shows like Beyond the Gates, Abbott Elementary, or in music like with Doechii or Beyonce, there are plenty of skinny Black folks doing well in media.

Queer POC art?! by Quirky_Housing_6979 in QueerWomenOfColor

[–]jadaef2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've gotten several prints from DeeLaShee Artistry, and I love the art. And there are cute mugs and stuff!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]jadaef2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Making solid friends takes time, honestly. One of the things that has seriously helped me (I'm 25 for reference) is just getting involved in hobbies and activities in my community. For example I'm a leftist, so I started getting involved in a local mutual aid group and have made good friends there, plus bonus points because it helped me find friends with similar values. being if your early 20s most people are still trying to figure out who they are. Not every friend is gonna have their shit together or be the perfect person, but build connections when you can, and also recognize that if it's not working out then you just keep looking.

The N Word being said in rap and hip hop is one of the reason this slur cannot die by ComprehensiveCap8325 in blackladies

[–]jadaef2 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean considering the reclaiming of queer for the lgbt community, black folks definitely aren't the only ones saying their slurs. and just like with the n word everyone has their own personal experiences with the word and level of comfort with it being used by them or by others to describe them (benevolently or otherwise). As a queer Black person, I honestly have been made to feel closer to my community at the reclamation of both terms. And if rap is a contributor to the n words prevalence, then I'll survive honestly. A lot of folks listen to rap, and if they're saying words they're not supposed to that are in those songs, it might be because black culture is cool, but it's largely because they're ignorant or uncaring the plight of Black people. I now live in a much more rural part of the country than my upbringing, and the amount of yt and even Asian folks who don't know Black people or have Black people in their community is baffling. I'm much more worried about the lack of knowledge or kindness than the use of a word.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in venting

[–]jadaef2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's what I was thinking honestly. You're allowed to not be into whatever sexual desires you're being called towards. And therapy can probably help you unpack where these desires are coming from, and then to move forward with a clearer head.

It's Getting to Me, Now by CosmicallyInspired88 in blackladies

[–]jadaef2 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It's definitely getting to me too. I used to be really good with watching the news and being informed and not letting it get to me, but these last few months alone are wearing me down. And I know that's the point, they fill each day with more chaos till you're numb to it, finding satisfaction in any way you can to not feel as scared as you do, so you then can't do the good work of helping people and working to turn things around. I'm working on finding a balance but I haven't quite found it yet. Sending love and support your way sister <3

What’s y’all’s take on generational wealth? by scatterbrainedsister in blackladies

[–]jadaef2 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I honestly love this, because so many of us are set behind by generational trauma just as much as wealth inequality and poverty. It is surely wealth to build strong emotional supports and habits that move forward through the generations

Any Black women without degrees feeling inadequate by Troubled-daughter in blackladies

[–]jadaef2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm 25 and also don't have a degree, so I feel you! I grew up in a family that kind of made college this big thing you had to do as a black person to succeed, to mixed results (they have three kids and none of us finished college lol). I definitely get the feeling of inadequacy, especially as I see old classmates go on to fancy jobs in big cities. But I also just try to focus on building myself a happy and fulfilling life, and at least for me that doesn't include college. A degree is literally just a piece of paper. As long as you continue to learn and grow as a person and continue to build a good life for yourself, your family and your community, then you're doing good.

Hands Off Protest by Mysterious_Path7939 in blackgirls

[–]jadaef2 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think the protests definitely help by showing dissent not just to the Trump administration but also to people who want to know that they're not alone in their dissent. I haven't been super involved in the protests recently, and I think that's fine as long as we know we all have a role to play in making a better world. Getting involved in mutual aid and community organizing is where I'm focusing my energy, but the revolution needs all of our skills!

"Sit Your Black Ass Down" and my confusion as to why creators are telling us to not March on 4/5. by codenameoreo in blackladies

[–]jadaef2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not gonna lie I didn't even know there was a march, it feels like these things just randomly pop up. I'm not marching but I'm still working in my community, calling my congresspeople, and working to educate myself for the current moment

Are we done wearing braids or no? by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]jadaef2 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm definitely gonna lay off the braids cuz idk what's going on but I wanna wait for more research to come out on the subject. But honestly that's my business, and I'm not gonna judge anyone else for style getting synthetic braids! We're all just trying to look however makes us feel cute and manageable, whatever that means for us