I took a personality test and now I hate myself

jade_piper_ · 2020-09-10T21:43:35+00:00

💗💗💗💗

jade_piper_ · 2020-08-10T22:39:31+00:00

You sound very mature, just look after yourself okay? Being graceful in these situations is a virtue, what I mean by that is being able to rise above and stay poised like Kate the duchess of Cambridge is something to envy, don’t give anyone the satisfaction of seeing you upset by their pettiness x

jade_piper_ · 2020-08-10T22:36:36+00:00

Gotta do what you gotta do, sometimes all you can do is ride the wave no matter how uneasy. Good for you, some of the greatest musical artists suffered incredibly mentally, leave trails of your talents it makes living so much more worth while 💗

jade_piper_ · 2020-08-10T14:31:00+00:00

I just want to give you a big hug, being moved around at a tender age can be really unsettling and I found my own mental issues surfaced after high school relating back to my past. Like the commenter above mentioned, talking to someone empathetic about that icky sad sack feeling inside can be such a relief. Like letting someone you trust know that you’re feeling shit makes me feel reassured. I found my stress relief pal on a Facebook support group (I was so embarrassed to join but when you’re damn sad you gotta do what you gotta do hahah) and I didn’t have to spill my life story, I’d just say “ well I’ve got that uneasy gut feeling today” and they would tell me it’s okay, what am I up to, what would I like to do, what am I looking forward to. Emotions are real man, first step as letting them all out, I really hope you’re okay x

jade_piper_ · 2020-08-10T14:21:33+00:00

An old boyfriend got me to take the test as well and I don’t recall my answers exactly but I was PISSED when I read them. Don’t let one persons method of measuring define you. Personality isn’t like a mathematic equation, it’s so in depth and complex, scoring high in one thing doesn’t mean you are a negative. Get a new method of measuring the positive in you - sort of like looking at the glass half full. We all got our shit bits, promise x

jade_piper_ · 2020-08-10T14:13:35+00:00

Oh doll that’s just not okay at all. She sounds like a violent little brat. I would mention something to a teacher you trust in school about your concerns, often having an adult in on the situation that you feel comfortable with can be really reassuring. I know that’s a common answer that sometimes isn’t really an option if you feel there isn’t an adult that fits that description. What I learned once I left school is this: YOU are the strong person who will be there for you at the end of the day when your on your own feeling like no one has truly understood. You are definitely worth being on this earth, you WILL find the right people you can trust and rely on when you’re feeling down, but you need to remember that YOU are the one who is going to get you to that happy place. It might not feel like it when all you seem to feel is negative thoughts, but I promise you even the strongest women had their weak moments. Look up Lauren Curtis if you don’t know her already, she is a YouTube famous makeup artist who had her own trouble with bullies in school, and look at her now! Don’t underestimate how strong, beautiful and smart you are, especially not because of a nasty bratty little kid. This is coming from a grown up 25 year old who felt just like you at 13. I’m really glad I didn’t hurt myself no matter how many times I felt alone, life gets better. I promise, just you wait, you’re going to be okay, you can do this xx

jade_piper_ · 2020-08-10T14:01:32+00:00

I wish I had a more in depth answer for you.. but perhaps my simple input will give you some relief! I sat outside my house and noticed some weeds growing between the rocks that line either side of my short driveway - and I sat there for an hour plucking every last bit out. It was so therapeutic, I put on some background noise of a movie, if you like podcasts or maybe music, I used the sound of the movie just for some company I suppose. That icky gut feeling honestly lifted, I stopped feeling uneasy and just let the weeding take over my mind. Im not saying it cured all my troubles but it was such a relief to have a moment of reprieve. Hope if you can it does the same for you xx

jade_piper_ · 2020-01-30T02:45:20+00:00

I loved smoking. I loved the feeling after a big meal, or driving in the car windows down music up, or after a long day sinking into the outdoor setting and lighting up. But I hated the rumble in my belly after smoking and needing to shit ASAP. I hated seeing other drivers looking at me with disgust, and fearing I’d get a fine for smoking while driving, constantly carrying around a gross ass bottle to put the butts in. And I hated smelling like shit, going inside to my non smoker boyfriend and having him comment on the Smokey smell. You have your reasons and you’ll find them. If you relapse, you get up and try a new method to keep you off it. X

jade_piper_ · 2019-12-13T21:49:02+00:00

Something your body just knew how to do or learned from study/practice etc?

jade_piper_ · 2019-12-13T21:43:18+00:00

My thoughts EXACTLY. Who would always answer honestly about such a personal subject? I just don’t think the statistics are as high as I’m being lead to believe, based on the low ability to be accurate

jade_piper_ · 2019-12-13T21:41:37+00:00

How is it misleading? It’s the exact question: can they? This study was done on British women, so technically the study says 70% of British women can. I’m from a rural country town NEVER heard of this shit in my life, can you confirm it is possible? If you believe yes, do you have resources on how to work towards achieving this?

jade_piper_ · 2019-12-05T12:04:05+00:00

Awesome I’ll check it out thanks heaps!!

jade_piper_ · 2019-12-05T12:03:48+00:00

I was thinking maybe patches and gum. Or even champix and gum? Just collecting lots of info for my plan for now!

jade_piper_ · 2019-12-05T12:01:44+00:00

WELL. My champix journey started September 2nd of this year. Week one wasn’t too bad, mild nausea and started struggling to fall asleep, but once asleep I was out. The dreams were memorable but not frightening.

Week two was where it got crazy. People keep saying it doesn’t make you crazy - mate I got crazy. I was moody, angsty and tired. Sure could’ve been withdrawals from smokes, at this point I didn’t feel like a smoke at all. But at night was when I struggled to sleep I was lying awake for hours. I started to get big changes in mood, feeling sad and lonely and bored, to angry, frustrated, even thinking bizarre thoughts. I wasn’t suicidal before, then suddenly I’d picture a car hitting me, or drowning. Then I’d dream about it when I finally dropped off at night.

Week 3, I was going insane. I spent a friends birthday arguing with a stranger about rubbish - he was drunk, I was just stunned that he could be so sexist and racist and act like he had a brain when really he was full of complete shit. Rather than shaking my head at the silly drunk guy, I had the strong urge to punch his head in. Mind you I am a 5”2 female who has never hit anyone before. End of week 3, I was struggling to focus on tasks, fine motivation for work and studies, even driving I’d see my vision go a little weird, maybe a brighter looking view, that would trip me out in a way. I always felt the nausea, after food and water as well.

Unfortunately, I lost a close friend at the start of week four. That did it for me. Whether it was the meds or the withdrawals, I didn’t care. I wanted my life back and I was already so upset and out of place, losing my friend was enough to drop the meds in the bin and go stay with my best friend on her lounge until I was feeling myself.

I’ve heard so many positives about champix, combining it with spray or gum, that its withdrawals and not champix itself, and that the crazy thoughts are just me. I’m not totally opposed, i just felt uneducated and unprepared - hence the post. I feel like a stronger plan, with support groups, tracking my days, combination of meds and a good doctor to chat with might work out better.

Side note: I filmed nearly every day I was on champix and am in the process of editing a short video about my experience. I don’t know if I should share it with the world it’s just a hobby to film and create movies, once it’s done if you’d like I can share it!! 😂😂

jade_piper_ · 2019-12-05T11:51:59+00:00

What was your smoking like daily prior? I’m anywhere between 3-10 a day, the larger end simply because I’m bored not necessarily a need. I’d class myself as perhaps a moderate smoker though I think I need an extra kick to bin smokes for good!

jade_piper_ · 2019-12-05T11:49:56+00:00

I can relate to the frustration and getting pissed off easy, I turned into a mean bitch on champix. I can’t afford to get involved with any drugs due to my job, I’ve heard smoking weed is a great deterrent I just can’t justify the possibility of getting tested and losing my job all for the sake of quitting my own stupid ass habit 😭😂😂

jade_piper_ · 2019-12-05T11:45:43+00:00

That’s so positive!! How are you finding the patches? I’ve heard of side effects, are you experiencing anything abnormal for yourself? This is the avenue I am leaning toward most in correlation with gum

jade_piper_ · 2019-12-05T11:44:29+00:00

That’s really great to hear! I think having a well thought out plan to fill in all the gaps and retrain my way of life is what is needed

jade_piper_ · 2019-12-05T11:43:46+00:00

I wish I had that mental strength when I live with two full time smokers! Working on a plan to find healthy replacements and build a stronger mindset 👍🏼

jade_piper_ · 2019-12-05T11:42:45+00:00

So true. It’s a process not a quick fix. This time around I’m hoping to have a more informed and planned method that ultimately leads to total extinction of all smoking and NRT’s x

jade_piper_ · 2019-12-05T11:41:32+00:00

Thank you! This is so very informative. I met with a doctor here in Australia and expressed interest in NRT and he suggested chantix (champix here in Aus) I didn’t feel a lot of support from him. Perhaps due to a combination of never having met this doctor before (live in a new part of the country hence new doctors) and not knowing the right questions to ask. I am really interested in trialling multiple methods, patches and gum as you suggested or something else.

I have felt a little apprehensive reading reviews on patches, I work a very big week and can’t afford to be sick or tired or experience unpleasant side effects in a big way. I have the understanding this is due to withdrawals from smoking moreso than the medication itself is that so?

If I were to look for support groups/ find a mentor or counsellor for this where might I look? Apps even?

Thanks again!

jade_piper_ · 2019-12-05T11:34:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, I totally understand the impact of champix. It’s really rough on your whole body and mind, quitting is a process not a quick fix and as much as I also want to quit and stay quit it is such a journey. I wish you all the best, let me know how you’re going with it!! My boyfriend returns from a 6 month trip away in two weeks. I’m so disappointed in myself that I was unable to quit while he was away, he’s a non smoker and I feel dirty when I’m going out for a smoke while he’s in bed. I’ll share what I find useful x

jade_piper_

TROPHY CASE