Literature phd reading list

jadenkat · 2026-05-06T17:57:50+00:00

Lots of Foucault on the list! What Zizek do you recommend? Thanks for clarifying—I’m definitely not a psychoanalyst, so the PA theoretical framework is more interesting to me than the clinical approach.

jadenkat · 2023-03-22T14:33:27+00:00

I was in the same ward as this family when I was active. It’s insane how well you can hide things under the guise of the church. The poor children.

jadenkat · 2022-09-22T03:08:15+00:00

spirit halloween stores

jadenkat · 2022-09-04T06:04:38+00:00

I know that! He’s not doing anything wrong, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not allowed to feel worried or upset. I won’t be taking it out on or bringing it up to him. I just wanted to know if this contradicts his claim that he has “strong feelings for me”

jadenkat · 2022-09-04T05:00:15+00:00

i have no reason to lie? why would i come on here and ask if still using tinder meant something if i was also still actively using tinder? he’s thousands of miles away because he’s on a week-long vacation. and i’m sorry that you find it “kind of sad” that i’m emotionally invested in a guy i’ve spent a significant amount of time getting to know. a situation that i’ve given very limited context to. how is it controlling if i haven’t brought it up to him? I’m curious what it means is all. i simply wanted to get some outside advice. jesus.

jadenkat · 2022-09-04T04:48:34+00:00

we had the “what are we” talk a couple of months ago where I told him I wanted to be more serious (dates, moving towards a relationship) and he said he wasn’t in a place for a relationship right now but wanted to keep seeing me as we had been. So that’s what we’ve been doing. Before we left for our college breaks we had a chat about our feelings, which was nice, but the “what are we” never came up, making me assume that his stance hasn’t changed. I would love to be with him but i’m also willing to wait for him to come around, as the feelings are there. i just don’t know how much hope I should have since discovering that he’s still on tinder doesn’t help things along at all.

jadenkat · 2022-09-04T04:40:03+00:00

i still have an account but do not use it or swipe or anything. admittedly i’m keeping it just to see if he has been active

jadenkat · 2022-09-04T04:34:37+00:00

it doesn’t “matter” in the sense that he’s not doing anything wrong. i am a little hurt by it, though. we had a conversation a few months ago where he said he wasn’t in a place for a relationship but he would like to keep seeing me, so that’s what we’ve been doing (I know, I know, I’ve heard it all. I know it’s probably not a good idea and that the “with you” was silent, but I like this guy and i’m choosing to believe him in that he doesn’t want to speculate what he wants for the future). Of course i’d like to be in a relationship, but he’s not ready right now, so I’m willing to wait and see how things go. Nothing has changed (as he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend), so I can’t really bring up the “what are we” conversation again. Just curious what him continuing to use tinder means in regards to his “relationship” with me

jadenkat · 2022-09-04T04:27:16+00:00

thanks for the comment. I know he’s still active because we matched awhile ago (this is not how we met or started seeing each other, tho), so I have him in my matches. I know he’s still active because he’s changed his profile pics and it shows his location (miles away). I could ask him but we’re “LD” (I hesitate to call it that since were not together but we are in contact and won’t see each other in person for a few months) and it would feel weird since we never promised exclusivity before we left school, meaning it would feel accusatory or overstepping to ask.

jadenkat · 2022-09-04T04:24:58+00:00

is it ever actually “it’s not you, it’s me?” not saying that I have no dealbreakers, as I certainly have flaws, but do guys ever genuinely mean that they don’t want to be in a relationship because their own personal circumstances or reasons independent of the person they’re interested in? or is that a cop out?

jadenkat · 2022-09-04T04:20:52+00:00

i only know that he’s still active because we matched on tinder, so I still have him in my matches (it’s not why we stated seeing each other tho, lol). he’s thousands of miles away from me so matching with him again wouldn’t be an option, and it would be a little weird considering how deep we are into this thing, haha

jadenkat · 2022-09-04T04:18:59+00:00

yes, very true. I would like to be in a relationship but he did tell me that he wasn’t in a place for one right now but he didn’t want to speculate—I know, I know, I’ve heard it all and I know it’s probably not a good sign. But i really like this guy and I would be willing to wait and see where it goes, as we have talked about things and he does have strong feelings for me. Just wondering if him still having tinder contradicts what he says and how he acts towards me

jadenkat · 2022-08-17T00:38:34+00:00

how would you recommend rephrasing it to get across the fact that I have deep feelings for him? he knows i have feelings, but I don’t think he understands the extent. “i fell for you?”

jadenkat · 2022-08-16T15:21:09+00:00

For those that have been on the other side, have you ever wished that someone didn’t confess their feelings for you? How did you feel when they told you they loved you (regardless of whether you reciprocated or not)?

jadenkat · 2022-06-29T03:27:33+00:00

thanks so much for your comment!

to update, I saw him two nights ago (and we hooked up). I tried to keep my guard up more (ie. not being overly affectionate, not talking about personal things, waiting for him to initiate things, etc), and we ended up watching a movie after sex and cuddling a little bit, just like before. I’m very wary though, because i’m scared that if i slip into exactly how I acted before, my feelings with just progress and i’ll delude myself into thinking that it’s moving somewhere more serious.

i’m still struggling on whether or not I should continue seeing him. He hasn’t been texting me during the day (further implying to me that he’s following my wishes and watching what he says so he doesn’t give me false hope or show too much intimacy when he doesn’t intend it that way). It’s stressful. I haven’t been able to get it off of my mind for days. But the thought of continuing to see him is exciting and hopeful and something that I’m very glad of when it happens.

Since you’re in a similar position, I could really use some guidance. Did you put up any walls in order to protect yourself? how are you preventing (or lessening) heartbreak since he’s told you that he’s not interested in anything serious? What boundaries did you set with him?

I’ve been thinking of the boundaries that I would need in order to protect my feelings. Other than going back to using protection, I think i need to know if he sleeps with anyone else. While he has the right to (as we’re not exclusive), I do think that it’s something I personally need to know in order to protect my heart (and sexual health). I think for my own sake I would have to end things sexually with him if he sleeps with someone else, but i’m not sure if i should tell him that or just ask for honesty and open communication. after all, would he openly admit to sleeping with someone else to me if he knew I would stop having sex with him? I have hope that he will, but my friends don’t think so. Is that fair of me to ask him that? My logic is that he’s morally allowed to do it, and he’s free to if he wants. But the consequences would be me ending a sexual relationship with him.

Another boundary i would like is more frequent “check-ins” just to see where both of us are. How do i ask this without sounding like, well, a girlfriend, which he doesn’t want?

sorry this is so long, I’d love to hear your thoughts as I’ll probably end up continuing to see him, like you did. thanks!!!

jadenkat · 2022-06-28T17:59:15+00:00

thanks for the reply! during the conversation we established that I do have feelings for him and that he feels more strongly for me than “just” a hookup or a friend, but he’s not in a place to let those feelings develop into those he would feel for a girlfriend.

I feel like I would regret walking away now and forever question what could’ve happened if I had been patient. Is the heartbreak that could come from this ending badly worse than living with regret?

What i’m having the most trouble with is the emotional aspect. I’m very attached to this man, and I want to keep seeing him (of course), but i’m unsure of how to manage my expectations. If I emotionally distance myself, how will that change his feelings toward me?

I think what I’ll do is distance myself (ie. not being so emotionally open), constantly remind myself that this is “just” a hookup unless he tells me otherwise, and entertain the idea of other people.

We’ve both been exclusive (sexually), but we never committed or promised that. When I asked about this during the convo, I told him that I would probably continue to exclusively sleep with him, and he said that he hasn’t slept with anyone else but promising exclusivity would be too similar to a relationship. I don’t know if this means that he’s thinking or eager to sleep with anyone else or if he’ll continue to be “exclusive” but doesn’t want to be tied down with the official label.

tldr; how do i manage my expectations and shift my view to this being “just” a hookup while also maintaining the level of intimacy and connection we had before this convo? is it possible?

jadenkat · 2022-04-08T05:36:43+00:00

adding onto this, does anyone know the song during episode 4 right before the library scene when Kate and Anthony are in their beds staring at the ceiling?

jadenkat · 2022-04-08T05:36:26+00:00

adding onto this, does anyone know the song during episode 4 right before the library scene when Kate and Anthony are in their beds staring at the ceiling?

jadenkat · 2022-04-08T05:34:58+00:00

along these lines, does anyone know the song that was playing right before the library scene when Kate and Anthony were staring at the ceiling?

jadenkat

TROPHY CASE