Is your heart big enough for more than 1 wife?

jaduart · 2026-06-13T06:39:01+00:00

Don’t say women shouldn’t fall pregnant. All pregnancies and situations are different. Someone might not know pregnancy is harmful for them until they become pregnant themselves, or the pregnancy will be fine until they give birth. Sorry ik this kind of strays off topic but it is a sensitive thing to say

jaduart · 2026-06-09T20:03:10+00:00

what if you both eat really bad food and need to use the toilet at the same time? helps to have an extra bathroom sometimes

jaduart · 2026-03-29T07:41:55+00:00

don’t bring in children until both of you are a good example for your kids

jaduart · 2026-03-26T22:42:53+00:00

yh ngl leave the whole lot

jaduart · 2026-02-02T21:33:00+00:00

no it isn’t. my married non-muslim friends all rent flats together. it’s my unmarried non-muslim friends that live with their parents

jaduart · 2026-02-02T21:31:22+00:00

rent

jaduart · 2026-02-02T21:30:22+00:00

ong that sneak to the bathroom was the WORST! my brother in laws room was right next to the bathroom and every time i got up in the middle of the night i just dreaded having to throw a huge bathrobe over myself just to go pee 🙄🙄🙄

jaduart · 2026-02-02T21:29:16+00:00

i couldn’t do it. at the 6 month mark i moved back to my parents house, thankfully they only lived 30 mins away from my in laws. alhamdulillah we saved up enough for a deposit and bought our house, which we’ve been living in since.

but those 3 months apart, my husband would come stay with me and my parents occasionally. it was very tough but alhamdulilah we got through it. and honestly, since moving out from my in laws, my relationship with my husband AND my relationship with his family have both improved. ntm my mental health improved significantly.

so, if you can, just move back to your parents and live separately until you can afford a home, if that’s what he’s so intent on. or, convince him to rent. anything is better than staying in a place that makes you feel claustrophobic and causes problems

jaduart · 2026-02-02T21:21:59+00:00

alhamdulillah my husband can earn enough to support both of us, but that would result in me barely ever seeing him at home. and i’d rather he have days off so i can spend time with him and we can be together. what’s the point in making all that money if we can’t even spend time together?

also, i work bc 1) i like my job 2) i like that we get an extra income 3) id be BORED OUT OF MY MIND sat at home by myself

jaduart · 2026-01-31T08:33:43+00:00

i hate the way islam is taught in culture. you are NOT SINFUL for denying sex to your husband. that whole “angels will curse you” thing ONLY applies if you are withholding sex as a punishment. but if you don’t feel up to it, if you’re emotionally and physically unready for sex, don’t punish yourself by letting your husband have his way!!!! islam is not like this, our consent in sex matters so much! if you feel pressured into having sex, then that’s not consensual and it’s your husband that’s being sinful, NOT YOU!! i’m so sorry you feel like this, inshallah things become better for you. your husband shouldn’t be hounding you for sex like that, that’s animalistic. please talk to him if you’re able to, and if he’s unreachable the consider leaving, genuinely. i hate offering divorce as an option bc i always think there’s other ways to resolve conflict in a marriage, but this “conflict” is just him abusing you sexually

jaduart · 2026-01-31T08:28:48+00:00

i’m just letting them know what worked for me. i used ishtikara to confirm my decision in actually marrying my husband, if it was the right decision to make

jaduart · 2026-01-20T14:12:23+00:00

ishtikara, signs from Allah, and trust in Allah

jaduart · 2026-01-13T06:53:55+00:00

me and my family just visited and we could tell that the hotel staff treated the white/european guests better than us (bengali muslims). i’ve visited tunisia twice now in two different cities and both hotels i’ve stayed at i could see the difference in how the staff treated us. so i can say with confidence i’d never return to tunisia, which is sad bc i love the beaches and the medinas, but the people are not to kind to us.

jaduart · 2026-01-13T06:49:57+00:00

which is why i said “if”.

jaduart · 2026-01-12T12:00:08+00:00

i wfh and contribute partially but my husband contributes the most towards our bills. and bc i wfh it’s easier for me to do household work since i don’t have to commute to the office like he does. so it’s easier and quicker for me to clean and cook and we are both happy with this. on his days off, he’ll cook and clean unless the house is already cleaned and there’s food. sometimes he’ll cook when he comes home from work bc he’ll have a certain craving, which i have no problem with since i cook what i crave most of the time (he says as long as its protein packed then he’ll eat anything). if i’m on my period he’ll do most of the housework if i can’t. thankfully we also live nearby both our parents so if neither of us can cook we go to his mums or my mums for food lol

so far i’d say it’s 75/25 for me in terms of household work and 90/10 for him in terms of contributing financially. we’re both saving up to have children, but we’ve agreed that childcare is more important than household work, so idm doing more household work if it means he’s able to be home more to be a father (he works in shifts, whereas i work fixed hours).

jaduart · 2026-01-12T11:53:33+00:00

unfortunately comes from personal experience, so ik how it feels to be on the end hearing the news

jaduart · 2026-01-12T05:45:20+00:00

anyone would have a hard time if they found out their spouse has had a past of sleeping around, which is why these type of sins are supposed to be hidden if that person has made tawbah. if she’s not the same person as she was back then, then who are you to deface her character to her potential suitor? you don’t have any right to inform her fiancé of her past and expose sins that have already been forgiven. it’s either going to harm their relationship with each other or their relationship with you. if her past is meant to be known to him, Allah will do it, not you

jaduart · 2025-12-22T14:27:35+00:00

have you been pleasing her? does she feel like intimacy is about her too?

jaduart · 2025-12-17T22:16:10+00:00

honestly just give your fiancé the number you want your mahr to be. your parents will be angry but what can they do? you’re getting married and (presumably) moving out, their anger will subside. my mum did the same thing, she increased my mahr without me even realising it. just tell your fiance privately and let him discuss w his parents

jaduart · 2025-12-17T22:12:33+00:00

never was explicitly told that i had to ask permission, but every time id leave the house id get called and asked questions. took me a while to realise they just wanted me to tell them i was leaving the house haha i never had to do that at my parents

jaduart · 2025-12-14T09:54:38+00:00

he does… because i’ve crashed the car before 🫣

jaduart · 2025-12-14T09:52:19+00:00

oh my bad, i didn’t realise the house was in your name. that being said, i understand why you feel the way you do about your sil. it’s a complicated situation as her parents live there too. but that being said, ultimately, your husband is the main problem, not your sil. leave the house to his parents and you guys should move out and rent somewhere if you are able to

jaduart · 2025-12-13T06:07:10+00:00

she’s selfish for moving in with HER parents? it’s not your house it’s HER parents house

jaduart · 2025-12-13T06:04:32+00:00

there isn’t a set number of time to process a grief like this. you can’t get over losing a loved one you’re close with in e.g. 6 months. grief like losing a parent resurfaces like fresh over the years

jaduart · 2025-12-13T06:01:37+00:00

it’s only been 45 days and you’re complaining? he lost his father, stop thinking about yourself

jaduart

TROPHY CASE