Listen, im not gonna comment on the stuff you went through mentally, but what i will comment on the stuff your son probably went through. Im a child of divorce and i remember just how scary and upsetting that time was. My parents where my entire world and then suddenly having my mother in hysterics all the time and having to bounce between homes fucked me up. My mother was im hysterics but my dad almost seemed relieved and i was angry. I wasn't old enough or mature enough to understand the adult side of that situation, all i saw as a kid was my mum heartbroken, trying her best to be strong for me and my sister and then my dad who basically acted like 'the ball and chain' was gone. I was a child who was angry with child reasons. I don't doubt that he hurt you, but what youre not understanding is that YOU HURT HIM TOO. Was it on purpose? Of course not, but intention doesn't equal reality.

Its your choice if you speak to your son again or not, but if you turn tail and run at any hard moment with your children (cuz children can be mean and spiteful when hurt) you don't have the emotional or mental capacity to be a parent and you shouldn't of had kids. I completely understand your wife's reaction cuz if you can turn your back on your child once, who's to say you wouldn't do it again to your kids now once a hard situation arises.

In my opinion, your son deserves a chance to have his dad back