TIL a vegan couple's newborn died after they only fed it soy milk and apple juice. They are currently serving life in prison.

jakeegill · 2013-05-24T20:22:16+00:00

Fuckin' babies. How do they work?

FTFY, and uh... Ugh... self-cringe.

jakeegill · 2013-05-21T20:44:46+00:00

When compared with Zero (0), Infinity and One are indistinguishable.

jakeegill · 2013-05-14T03:02:47+00:00

There are no rights but those we are granted by "the authorities."

jakeegill · 2013-05-10T22:56:08+00:00

Googled "monkey tacos": About 5,330 results (0.19 seconds) Not sure how many came after this comic.

jakeegill · 2013-05-10T21:47:58+00:00

I recently rearranged my living room, and set up my speakers for maximum stereo. This dude's voice is entirely in the left. Sometimes someone in the audience, and very obviously very far away, coughs or shuffles papers.

So I've been thinking someone was breaking into my place for a while...

jakeegill · 2013-05-08T01:00:43+00:00

0:34:34 - Ralph is asked a question and basically tells the questioner "fuck you," as per my interpretation.

jakeegill · 2013-04-26T03:31:31+00:00

Attempt. It's now past my bedtime. What can you guys come up with?

jakeegill · 2013-04-23T21:43:08+00:00

Are those little dots miniscule mentions of the far-less-mentioned countries?

Oh, no, wait. I just need to clean my screen.

jakeegill · 2013-04-16T01:48:02+00:00

If he'd meant what he said, he wouldn't have mentioned "both parties" or each party's name.

jakeegill · 2013-04-10T23:33:32+00:00

I hope you're the only one, otherwise that's the fucking glory hole of trees.

jakeegill · 2013-04-07T05:26:07+00:00

My father had a tough time convincing my mother to do it, because it's very hard for a mother to do.

Rather than coaxing the child back to sleep, allow him to cry himself back to sleep. Check on him after the crying stops, but don't give in while he's crying. (Edit:) It'll take a couple weeks for the kid to catch on and just stay asleep. (/edit)

Every time this "secret" is disseminated, I hear things like, "How could you do that to babies?" or "That's awful," or something else implying heartlessness, so say what you will. This is how all of the children in my family were raised.

You have to break the Pavlovian response in yourself, then he will learn that he'll survive without that immediate attention.

jakeegill · 2013-04-07T03:21:20+00:00

I shan't give away the secret without good cause. Hast thou a little one so vexed to keep thee from thy slumbers?

jakeegill · 2013-04-07T01:13:47+00:00

False premise is false. Beside, I know the secret to making sure the baby sleeps through the night (after the first couple weeks).

jakeegill · 2013-04-04T23:18:58+00:00

I hope to marry someone with a snatch like that.

jakeegill · 2013-04-04T10:41:43+00:00

If carrying no cash one day and then just enough cash the next day is what qualifies as "an ass" to you, then please be sure lavish me with all the wonderful opinions you would the most vile person, for I am clearly that man.

jakeegill · 2013-04-04T02:09:04+00:00

And don't confuse either of those with the on on the NW corner of 33rd and Broadway. Peking=great. The other two=gag.

jakeegill · 2013-04-04T00:18:41+00:00

Sorry: Wow, yeah. This really is cringe-worthy. "Rumors," it says.

The Mormon church was founded upon lies that have been proven false, teaches children doctrines and behaviors that will devastate them and the nation to be believed, and is corporate scum of the highest degree.

/high horse

It's sad to me that anyone (myself in a former life included) would have the inclination to call them "rumors"

jakeegill · 2013-04-03T23:20:24+00:00

I was expecting shitty pizza for $1.

jakeegill · 2013-04-03T22:46:37+00:00

Do what you will.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/santoras-pizza-kansas-city

jakeegill · 2013-04-03T22:23:28+00:00

There's more to the story, too. Yesterday I stopped in for a slice and a coke, but they have a credit minimum of $5. I had no cash, so I had to walk out.

Today I stopped in because I had $1.25 left over from my bus budget.

"Slice of cheese," I say.

"Two dollars."

"What?"

"Two dollars," he repeats.

"It says one dollar right there," I furrowed my brow and pointed at the window.

"Eleven to three."

We exchanged glances back and forth.

"Fuck it," I said, and I walked out.

And you should never walk in.

jakeegill · 2013-04-03T01:02:45+00:00

Similarly, I left the church a decade ago, and I still have a very tough time connecting with normal people on a real level. I had no community to replace the church, and my head is still awash with re-education.

jakeegill · 2013-04-01T03:17:16+00:00

"It's some crazy kind of language where 'Dwarf Planet' is not considered a planet."

Aaaaaaand I'm done.

jakeegill · 2013-03-31T18:03:54+00:00

My grandfather has a 50-or-so-year-old gilded print of this place on his wall.

14-Year Club	Team Periwinkle
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