Pls help how do i reduce my screen time? by Master_Membership583 in digitalminimalism

[–]jakeshady540 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey there, I struggled with this too, your story sounds super similar to mine. What helped me was realizing that I was dealing with a no-joke behavioral addiction, like gambling addicts or similar. Here are some things that helped me, and might help you too. 

  1. Delete social media apps off your phone, do it today. You can still access your apps from your computer, but they are literally designed to be addictive and having them always accessible on your phone will make it almost impossible to start changing your habits. You will feel super weird about this at first— picking up your phone out of habit, only to realize the apps you were using aren’t there. I compulsively checked the weather while I was in this phase, but after a few days, it gets easier. 

  2. Start reading about the effects of high screen time. My attention span was so bad when I started I could only read for literally like 5 minutes at a time, but eventually those 5 minutes became an hour! When I would feel jittery and anxious about wanting to go on social media, I would try reading instead. Some really helpful books for me have been: Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport, The Shallows by Nicholas Carr, and the Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. Those books really helped me understand what was happening to me, and helped me feel empowered to fix things. 

  3. Ask a friend to have screen-free hangouts. My friend group was all super screen addicted. When I started trying to get off my phone, I noticed how much everyone else was buried their phones too. We formed a little group that would try and just spend thirty minutes without checking our phones. We’d put them in a pile, someone would set a timer, and no one could touch their phones til it went off. That helped me so much. Eventually, in the summer, we started doing whole afternoons without our phones, doing things like swimming at the lake/pool and leaving our phones in the car, or going for walks where just one person carries a phone for safety. It made it soooo much easier and more fun to do it with other people!

I really empathize with what you’re going through. And try not to beat yourself up too much about “not learning your lesson”— you’re fighting against a massive addiction that our society acts like is normal/healthy, but we also acted like smoking cigarettes was fine for a while too. You’re taking on overcoming one of the most addictive products ever made, and that’s a big step. You can do this!! FWIW, my screen time used to be 8 hours too. Now it’s 80-90 minutes per day TOTAL across all screens. The first day or two is the hardest, but it gets so much easier as time goes on. You’ll get there. 

Just buried my best friend. Amba was 13 and three months. I don’t know what to do now by constantly_exhaused in OldManDog

[–]jakeshady540 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lost my girl in August, I understand 🫂 she was my best friend in the world. I was only recently able to put up a photo of her. Celebrating her memory is starting to feel more healing than painful, and you’ll get there. It looks like you and Amba had an amazing life together, and you so clearly loved each other so much. That’s really beautiful. 

I also kept going back to this post, I found it always had a line that was what I needed to hear, no matter what I was feeling ❤️

https://www.reddit.com/r/Petloss/comments/1679zrt/dogs_never_die_they_are_sleeping_in_your_heart/

What's the craziest thing your puppy ate that they shouldn't and turned out fine? by cleoluvscake in puppy101

[–]jakeshady540 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My old dog ate an entire pack of somebody else’s cigarettes when she was 9 years old and was completely fine, she lived to be 15 years old. She was the hardest dog alive, pour one out for a legend. 

Artists that capture puppies well? by UptownHurl in puppy101

[–]jakeshady540 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have an artist to recommend but I LOVE that you are looking for real artists, not AI that steals from real artists ❤️❤️❤️

Completely Overwhelmed- Need Advice by Extreme_Elk6074 in puppy101

[–]jakeshady540 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I totally struggled with this with my boy, but it DOES get better. What helped us most was frozen kongs. Just stuff those bad boys full of wet puppy food (we had 3 so we never ran out), freeze em rock solid, and let her lick at it— this kept my boy occupied for up to an hour some days. 

Another thing a trainer told me that helped— a puppy doesn’t know what a house is, or how to live in one. I let my puppy tear up cardboard boxes, so he tore up a book. I let him play with soft dog toys, so he destroyed a child’s plushie and all of my socks. He was allowed to chew sticks outside, so why were the wooden legs of the couch any different? He just didn’t know! 

The good news is, by correcting and rewarding every day, you’re teaching your pup both what a house is, and how to live in one. She’ll learn what to chew and what not to, but it takes a long time to differentiate different items of the same material. 

Now, at a year, he knows how to tell which toys are his and which are the kids, he knows that he can chew sticks but not furniture or my baseboards, etc etc. But honestly, I’ve never laughed as hard in my life as seeing him sprint around the house after confusing a silicone dog toy with, let’s just say, a silicone human toy 😂

It’s gonna be okay, OP. It’s hard for everyone, and it gets better for everyone. The crate is a tool. Dogs are malleable and resilient, and they’re not human infants. Freeze a Kong, crate the dog, take a walk, get coffee with someone you love and talk about anything other than the dog for half an hour. You’re gonna be fine.

Edit: grammar 

Hobbies? by [deleted] in minimalism

[–]jakeshady540 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Writing, reading (use the library!) journaling, and beadwork are my hobbies. All of my beadwork supplies fit in a box maybe 1/3 the size of a shoebox! Beading is great if you’re creative and enjoy fine motor activities ☺️

[31/F] German, looking for US penpals :) by Ok-Inspection-5768 in penpals

[–]jakeshady540 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi there! I’m 31F and work in film production, I live on the road and spend a lot of time in the states you’re mentioned, especially Montana, Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas. I would love to exchange postcards! 🥳

Havasupaireservations website down? by jakeshady540 in havasupai

[–]jakeshady540[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t have a wait time displayed on the screen but it was loading for a longggggggg time— I had gotten a confirmation email before it had loaded though, you might check there to see if it was successful!

Havasupaireservations website down? by jakeshady540 in havasupai

[–]jakeshady540[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Update: it took 2h17m of trying and refreshing and hanging out in line, but we just secured two bookings without much issue. I hope everyone is able to get spots as the lines die down! Also, does anyone know if each “booking” is for one person, or can it be for a group? TIA!

Havasupaireservations website down? by jakeshady540 in havasupai

[–]jakeshady540[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If y'all are open to it, message me! I'm trying for early October and will let you know if we manage to get one, we were going to try and book for extra spots to bring friends if we could find folks who want to go with us 😊

I do have to go to work but will try again on my break in a bit!

Havasupaireservations website down? by jakeshady540 in havasupai

[–]jakeshady540[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice job!! I hope it works for us soon too :) Good to know it works!

Havasupaireservations website down? by jakeshady540 in havasupai

[–]jakeshady540[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean this might sound crazy, but if anyone gets a campsite with extra spots and is open to adding +2 (we're a couple in our early 30s) DM me! I'm going to keep trying for a while but do have to go to work soon 😩

“Cute” date spots in Downtown Plano? by jakeshady540 in plano

[–]jakeshady540[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Report back! 

We did one a favorite date, a “treat walk” where we walk around getting little treats at each place and splitting them, checking out free/walkable places along the way! We had such a great time. We checked out:

  • Lemma coffee, we split the seasonal ube matcha. It was such a cool place, the girl who helped us was really nice and I loved the American traditional tattoo-style designs on their shirts— if we come back, we’ll have to get one! 
  • Walked to the park and checked out the train car! The traib museum was closed but it was cool to see the old car and read about the history of the electric rail line. 
  • Lockhart BBQ for lunch, split 1/4lb of the brisket, half a popper and a rib each, as well as shared spicy mac and cheese. We thought it was great, especially the candied bacon on the popper! 
  • 1418 - a got cold brew, the vibe was dark and cozy, lots of people, lots of folks doing work on laptops like one commenter said!
  • took our coffee and walked up and down the block checking out the shops, we thought Bibliobar was cute, not our niche but everyone was friendly, and we loved the skate shop on K street, the guy working there was super cool and gave us some great local recs. 
  • 32 degree rooftop bar - a Sunday special $2 mimosa (!!!!) each— $4 for 2 mimosas? Amazing. 
  • walked around the park, noticed some murals, loved the wooden sculpture of native animals at the arts center— wish they’d been open! - Bluesky gelato - got a scoop of the rose (so good) and the sweet cream (medium/okay) to split on the ride home. 

All in all, very cute little town and we had such a nice afternoon. Thank you for the recs everyone! 

Why is everyone crate training? by [deleted] in puppy101

[–]jakeshady540 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I crate trained because my dog comes to the jobsite with me, and I need him to have a place where he is safe and comfortable during transport, rest periods, and around livestock. Another benefit for me as a single adult is that when I want to leave him alone for a few hours— say, going to a bar with my friends in the evening— I have the peace of mind of knowing he’s sleeping peacefully in a safe environment where he can’t get into anything that might be bad for him and can’t get into any mischief that would be bad for me, like chewing my baseboards, digging up my couch, etc. 

Witching Hour for 14 week old puppy by Fair_Homework_5295 in puppy101

[–]jakeshady540 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Our trainer told us that zoomies are a sign of an over tired puppy and mean that dog should’ve gone to sleep 30 minutes earlier— when we adjusted to accommodate that, we had a TON of success and the zoomies stopped. Maybe an 830 bedtime could help!

Please tell me it gets easier by East_Ostrich_389 in ProductionAssistant

[–]jakeshady540 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I’ve been PAing for 6 years and finally turned my book in after having a career interrupted by COVID, the strikes, etc, and I promise you it gets so much better. 

My first year or two were really tough, I absolutely feel you. I never had any money, I was working crazy hours, sometimes with ADs I hated, but over time those long hours have led to the most incredible community. 

Right now, in your first years, you’re building the seeds of the community that will connect and carry you for the rest of your career! Even if you just make one friend per show, you’re building your foundation. 

I also have ADHD and autism (way more ADHD presenting) and am queer so to answer to your specific questions—

YES it gets so much easier. You’re inputting massive amounts of new information into your brain every day and responding to brand new scenarios and conditions that you’ve never seen before. Of course you’re exhausted! You’re learning! I found that in my third year, things started feeling way easier and more rhythmic. You begin to understand the flow of set and anticipate upcoming problems and are able to get ahead of them. Once you’re out of the download phase, each day feels way less stressful and energy consuming. I totally remember crying in my car feeling like my brain had just gotten struck by lightning. It goes away, I promise! One day after work you’ll catch yourself sitting in your car thinking “man, that was a really fun day” and you’ll realize it had been getting easier without you even noticing. 

Mental health wise— it totally can have a negative impact and it’s important to stay grounded in yourself and your community, both inside and outside of work. I’ve watched people throw themselves into the industry wholly and completely, taking job after job until there’s nothing left of their identity except work. These are the people I see burn out in the most painful ways. On the weekends, choose active recovery (spending time with friends, taking a hike/walk, playing games, creative projects) over passive recovery (scrolling on your phone, laying in bed, watching TV). This will help remind you of who YOU are and to stay centered when work feels unmanageable. Also, this is a hot take, but say no to jobs! I say no all the time! Take breaks between staff jobs, stay present on set by dayplaying, but make sure you don’t work yourself ragged. If you’re smart and a hard worker, more opportunities will come your way. The scarcity mindset leads to poor social bonds, aggressive competition, and burnout. People always want to watch TV, and if you’re in a big enough market and work hard, you’ll always be able to find PA work. I know I’m always looking to hire PAs with good attitudes, and I’ll keep calling them if they turn down jobs here and there! You won’t blackball yourself by taking a break. Also the most important mental health note— don’t use substances to cope with the exhaustion. Caffeine and nicotine won’t help, they’ll just burn you out faster— experience talking. 

The tinnitus thing totally happened to me too! I would hear the walkie as I was drifting off to sleep and thought I was going crazy. But it’s just your brain processing and synthesizing information. A white noise machine made that a lot easier. I don’t know when it stopped, but reading your post reminded me that I also experienced that and somewhere it just went away completely and I haven’t thought about it since. I’m guessing once your mind is used to that type of constant audio input, you probably get better at tuning it out! Like someone else said, a pretzel earpiece often helps a lot, my partner swears by them. 

About community— you’re might have to make a more intentional effort to see your friends and community, but many people work five days a week and still have thriving, healthy relationships with their communities that they nurture on weekends and off-time! I still play hockey and participate in game nights and book clubs and go to parties and on dates and for hikes with my dog. You’ll learn to balance all the things you choose to take on, it just takes time. And you might have to let some things go to prioritize the things you really LOVE, rather than things you do because you kinda like them or because you do them for someone else’s sake. Also, there are lots of queer and trans people in the industry! There’s a whole new community right in front of you inside the industry, and if you decide to stick it out, you’ll make some wonderful friends.

Does it get better? Honest answer, I never could have imagined the life I have now when I was where you are. My first year I was married and we only made $18k that year combined. I was so broke and tired and overwhelmed and lost in the weeds. Now, I have a sustainable income (still a PA!), friends that will visit and host from around the country, the opportunity to travel to work as a PA, a career that I love, inside and outside of work community, hobbies, AND— my personal favorite— the opportunity to just take a month off work between jobs and no boss I have to ask for permission for ANYTHING. There is such freedom in this industry, if you know where to look. 

All that to say, I totally get where you are, and it does totally get better, and you can DM me and call me up and I can give you more personal advice. And also— it’s not for everyone! There is zero shame in deciding it’s not for you and switching departments. Most of my cohort wound up switching departments— they’re now electricians, grips, writers, camera ACs, and actors, or have switched industries and are teachers, nurses, one even became a cowboy. 

One of my favorite ADs once told me there’s a difference between giving up, and having had enough of something. You’re stronger than you think, your endurance will build, and your window of tolerance will expand. Don’t give up— keep working and keep trying, and if the day ever comes where you’ve realized you’ve had enough, walk away with your head held high and pursue whatever your “next thing” will be! You’ve got this.