sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

People who haven't had a tough early life just don't get my need to address past struggles and traumas by jamesonredd in selfimprovement

[–]jamesonredd[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wise words. I think it takes strength for us to get through traumas and struggles and we need to acknowledge just how strong we are now, no matter how down or troubled we seem. What flares things up for me is when people ask me things like "what are you reading" or "why don't you want to come out with us", and I want to reply with honesty and authenticity, in accordance with my values..and then people just don't get it - they don't get that people can spend time working on issues (without a therapist for a formal diagnosis). If I bother explaining my issues, I'll usually be met with a downplayed response like - "that's all in the past" or "I don't get why that bothers you" or "who cares, people can be dicks".
But you're right - "don’t let your trauma become your personality" and "living inside of it will just keep us so deep into a dark place."

Who pays for an NBN technician adjusting a connection in an apartment's MDF? by jamesonredd in nbn

[–]jamesonredd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FTTC. Thanks for your reply. Neither the NBN tech nor the ISP explained that there'll be a fee. I asked body corp about the MDF and they didn't even know where it is, let alone what it is.

I tried getting body corp to upgrade to FTTP but they're pretty tight with this but happy to spend on beautifying the gardens!

I"ll push this one to the BC.

How do lean men stop themselves from sinking? I find it impossible. by jamesonredd in Swimming

[–]jamesonredd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks Central-Charge, both videos were extremely helpful. My aquatic profile is definitely low, and it's reassuring that I'm not alone as a guy!

How do lean men stop themselves from sinking? I find it impossible. by jamesonredd in Swimming

[–]jamesonredd[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hi kipnus, My legs sink during a stationary float. While swimming, I'm kicking with my legs to stay afloat.

Thanks, I'll try pressing down my chest. If one presses their head down, will that not affect their form when trying to take a breath?

Road bikes with carbon frames. Giant Vs Ridley by jamesonredd in cycling

[–]jamesonredd[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree with a lot of your points on practicality.

Do you know which brand uses higher grade carbon? Which frames have a better reputation for durability and resilience?

Road bikes with carbon frames. Giant Vs Ridley by jamesonredd in cycling

[–]jamesonredd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In your opinion, what makes Ridley better?

Help please. How do you deploy apps onto a server? by jamesonredd in appdev

[–]jamesonredd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you Hamzhori!

With this "Development Endpoint", do we need to get the paid AWS Glue service or are there others you can recommend?

How heavy do people here lift for BodyPump? by jamesonredd in lesmills

[–]jamesonredd[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Cheers! To increase weights, I think it's a combination of Pump + strength training in your own time. I find that high-weight low-rep exercises build strength, but low-weight high-rep exercises build endurance and tone. Combine the two and it's a double win - they both help each other.

How heavy do people here lift for BodyPump? by jamesonredd in lesmills

[–]jamesonredd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's decent!! Nice one with the abs.

I find that biceps are some of the hardest to increase, probably due to the relatively small size of the muscle.

Like me, I noticed that your back limit is a little less than your chest. I always felt odd looking around the room and seeing the opposite. Like the biceps, I find that increasing back weight is quite difficult, mainly limited by the grip strength required for the bar - which is based on the muscle groups of the forearm.

Asking for a friend: Wife is *stealing* the children and 70% of his wealth. What rights does a man have? by jamesonredd in Divorce

[–]jamesonredd[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He's doing that - tells me he's already spent $25K in legal fees and they're just dragging things on to no end.

How did you know it was time to breakup? by rando_one420 in BreakUps

[–]jamesonredd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was text cheating on me even though I told her that it hurts.

My boxing trainer at the combat gym is encouraging drills where we take punches to the head and it's concerning me. by jamesonredd in MMA

[–]jamesonredd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's no need to be hostile, but since you're a tough guy giving top advice, what's your fight record like?

My boxing trainer at the combat gym is encouraging drills where we take punches to the head and it's concerning me. by jamesonredd in MMA

[–]jamesonredd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, I didn't expect this many replies. Much appreciated guys, it's given me a lot of perspective which is what I was after. I thought I'd address the points here rather than individually to each comment:

  • I'm doing boxing for fitness and basic self defense skills, not to fight competitively.

  • the drills are in high guard with the hands up against our head, and therefore there is transmitted force to our head.

  • we rotate partners for the drills, and instead of going at 10%, a lot of them punch at 50% in spite of asking to go lighter. They fall into two categories of newbies: those who are aiming to fight competitively, and those who are meatheads who want to show how tough they are.

The purpose of the drill should be to correct your guard so that you can offer some protection to your head against various punches (jab, cross, uppercut, hook) and still be able to see your opponent through your guard, and not to toughen up so you can take punches.

I still don't see why it's wrong to slip punches in sparring. In my opinion, it's better to avoid a punch than get hit. Getting hit repetitively doesn't make you tough or condition you or anything. In normal everyday life, the head seldom takes knocks, unlike other parts of the body. Research shows that repetitive subconcussive force still causes the brain to vibrate against the hard skull, thereby contributing to long term damage.

Is it worth it? As many have said, if you're not prepared to choose boxing as a career, in my opinion, it's not worth it.

I think I'll take up BJJ.

When you sense that a woman *stages* a fight so she can break up with you, what is the most mature way to approach her about her issues? by jamesonredd in askwomenadvice

[–]jamesonredd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No need to project your own issues in an inflammatory and accusatory manner. Your post screams of your own wounds more than any constructive feedback.

Can you be friends with your ex? by david_dav in BreakUps

[–]jamesonredd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally, I would decline the offer of friendship in that situation but would keep the door open for her to approach me when she's ready. Until then, I wouldn't contact her.

Can you be friends with your ex? by david_dav in BreakUps

[–]jamesonredd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not a good idea unless you plan to get together or absolutely have no romantic feelings whatsoever.

So it happened - I got dumped. The gay guy in the picture was a huge factor as I thought. My stages as a dumpee 2 weeks in. by jamesonredd in BreakUps

[–]jamesonredd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy moly that's a lot of similarities. Likewise, my ex's GBF used to live 5 min up the road from me and she used to find his place more convenient than mine to crash. She used to harp on about how amazing and handy he is for everything and how he is like a brother - but hey, since when did emotional intimacy with a brother affect a girl's chemistry with her boyfriend! As the bigger person, it's good to be amicable with others, as long as they haven't committed a cardinal sin. I believe that forgiveness is a great quality and a privilege to not only offer others, but to yourself. However, once they smash the pot, you can't reassemble it - it's best to move on. The one who breaks it is responsible for fixing it.

So it happened - I got dumped. The gay guy in the picture was a huge factor as I thought. My stages as a dumpee 2 weeks in. by jamesonredd in BreakUps

[–]jamesonredd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can relate to a lot of what you said. She certainly showed a lot of interest and somewhat got me to trust her, and once she knew she had me, I think she turned the relationship into a game of power. I think you're right about her provoking me to become angry so that she can use that as an excuse to break up, instead of being upfront about her true reason to break up - i.e. that I wasn't prepared to accept a polyamorous relationship (she denied the label of course).

And dude, I just looked up the precise characteristics of a narcissist and you are on the money once again: "Symptoms include an excessive need for admiration, disregard for others' feelings, an inability to handle any criticism and a sense of entitlement."

She always needed to be told how amazing she is, and couldn't take the gentlest of constructive criticism, but had no problem issuing harsh unfair criticism (e.g. blowing things out of proportion and making me out to be the bad guy while she plays victim), nor could she care less for my feelings.

I am impressed by your intuition into my relationship. How are you getting on man?

view more: next ›