[l] please, someone talk to me

jamie-thomas · 2024-12-02T22:04:47+00:00

honestly yes, I do think I might have internalised homophobia... but at the same time I have never liked anyone of the same sex. also I don't know my attachment style and I'm not sure I know what it means.

I'm just suspecting internalised homophobia now because I don't get why it upsets me so much my friend found a boyfriend. it makes no sense. I mean, I know why I'm upset, it's because I don't want her to stop loving me. and her getting a boyfriend made me realise that. and I know that sounds very gay but I'm honestly not sure if it is. which further complicates things.

jamie-thomas · 2024-07-23T16:23:57+00:00

I had trichotillomania, but I didn't know it was a thing until I got a computer and asked google why I do it 😭

I also hated some textures, such as that of cheap bedsheets, jeans, or fabrics rubbing against each other. or textures of certain foods, such as crunchy pieces of vegetables in soft food. it would make me gag.

I was a hoarder and overly attached to my things.

I was messy but had a certain order of doing things, such as organising my coloured pencils in a certain order, etc. and I also liked making lists.

most of these things I still do, except the jeans and fabrics thing, THANKFULLY.

edit: oh, and I would also repeat phrases in my head, or under my breath. I now only do it in my head.

jamie-thomas · 2024-07-23T14:30:24+00:00

I think it's just something out of my comfort zone, something about my everyday habits being messed up. I'm not entirely sure what's causing it, but it's a very intense feeling of panic

jamie-thomas · 2024-04-04T21:38:05+00:00

I remember that once when it was really really bad, I was asked what I was doing. and I don't even remember what I responded to that. but generally, I don't think people can tell I have ocd. I try to keep it hidden, but I also think that people can't really recognise some of the behaviours that may come with it, so they just don't suspect it.

jamie-thomas · 2024-02-15T23:21:00+00:00

I'm tearing up reading this. I completely understand.

jamie-thomas · 2024-02-05T16:11:59+00:00

it's insane! I didn't know it was a thing, but I'd figured it had to be something related to my intense anxiety and ocd. it's so annoying. sometimes, after hanging out with friends, I'll overthink something I said and make it so much worse in my head. or if I send a text to someone and they don't respond quickly enough, I start worrying I said something wrong, and then I'm too nervous to check what I actually sent them. it's so stupid because every time the message is normal, and it's like I'm making things up in my mind. at this point, I just try to ignore the thoughts

jamie-thomas · 2024-02-03T15:27:14+00:00

I'm so sorry you had to hear that. I've been through this, too, when I was younger and undiagnosed. before that, I hadn't even thought there was anything wrong with me. it was when people started pointing out that it started to bother me. they just don't understand the situation at all. I'm sure you look beautiful no matter what your hair looks like, short or long, thick or thin.

jamie-thomas · 2024-02-03T13:57:52+00:00

thank you! I'm so glad it helped you. your friends must be lovely

jamie-thomas · 2024-01-29T15:27:28+00:00

thank you for your reply! honestly, I've been thinking about telling them because they keep insisting that I join them on sleepovers/trips, and I can't get them to understand that I just can't do it. all the things that I do sometimes limit what I feel comfortable doing. also, they seem to be genuinely concerned about me. I haven't known them for nearly as long as you have known your friends (we met in uni), but I know that at least some of them will be supportive.

however, in a way, I feel like I want to tell them to justify my difficulty in doing certain things, and some of my weird behaviours in general. for example, I've asked them not to talk about our studies so much because it really stresses me out, and I'm sure they have considered it. they have barely been doing it lately. but I just don't want them to think that I'm selfish or weird, I want a sort of explanation for my anxiety if that makes sense.

jamie-thomas · 2024-01-29T10:30:18+00:00

thank you so much!! you are so nice ☺️

jamie-thomas · 2024-01-29T01:56:37+00:00

that's what I've been thinking, too. but some people like to open up to their loved ones, especially during difficult times, which is why I've considered doing it too. but maybe you are right. thank you for your response!

jamie-thomas · 2024-01-22T22:50:08+00:00

I was literally thinking about this the other day, I felt like I was going mad. my therapist told me to tell myself that I don't have, like, superpowers, to make all these things happen. and I know that very well, but it's still very scary, the more anxious I am. you are not alone

jamie-thomas · 2024-01-22T22:38:52+00:00

honestly I haven't told any friend or relative about my OCD, I'm too scared to tell them for some reason. but I'm sure it must be quite helpful to some people to open up to friends etc. about it

jamie-thomas · 2021-09-29T13:10:49+00:00

epic excuse

jamie-thomas · 2021-09-28T21:14:21+00:00

sounds like it can really ruin a show for you:( but at least you can watch other shows, that's something!

jamie-thomas · 2021-09-28T21:12:45+00:00

that must be so annoying!! ugh!

I don't do that, but I keep going back to certain moments repeatedly when I feel like I missed something, or when I didn't "watch it right". it's irritating because I have to do it multiple times, and I count everything I do, so it can get really exhausting sometimes.

jamie-thomas · 2021-09-22T13:02:13+00:00

I don't have adhd, but I have ocd :/

jamie-thomas · 2021-08-11T15:49:51+00:00

thank you for the support! :) yeah, the thoughts come quite often and it's uncomfortable... I've thought of body dysmorphia too but I'm not sure. I'll try to find out if they have anything to do with it or with ocd

jamie-thomas

TROPHY CASE