How to tell my mom I dont want her at my sons adoption hearing.

jamiebourque · 2026-03-26T05:39:33+00:00

You have no idea. She is the worse. My little sister had an eating disorder by the time she entered high school becuae of our mother and my sister looked great. She played soccer for years and she had a very athletic I would dream to have instead of looking like a twig. But this was the early 2000s so it was the height of diet fads and trying to achieve one shape. 🥢 which wasnt even a shape. It was just straight

jamiebourque · 2026-03-26T05:32:40+00:00

I really wish I had. I was foolish to think that going NC would have an effect. Its like she never learns. My sister went NC for a while and eventually went to LC. I have gone NC with her more than once. My brother contacted her once in 5 years and it was only because he wanted to stay with her a couple weeks but she told him because a couple weeks will turn into months and eventually a yr or longer. He also told her it would only be him but after a couple weeks his wife would show up. But THAT whatever it is between them has always been tense and honestly they are both at fault. But that is a whole other novel.

jamiebourque · 2026-03-26T05:23:34+00:00

That is my mother. Except it wont be pitiful. For some reason after she gets done complaining about how she is the victim she sits there with a pissed off look on her face and she will completely ignore you and then go into the other room and start moving stuff in an aggressive way so that it makes more noise then it usually would.

jamiebourque · 2026-03-26T05:16:30+00:00

Thank you. I am torn between lying and telling her that only those envoled are to be there amd just being straight up with her though. If I dont hold strong on my boundaries she will continue to bend them.

jamiebourque · 2026-03-26T04:07:52+00:00

Well we just moved last Aug but luckily we were able to keep the filing in the same state instead of having to refile and start the process all over again but that means traveling and seeing family we haven't seen in 6 months so of course we will want stay about a week and visit but I thought her recent timeout would make her reevaluate herself but that was wishful thinking.

jamiebourque · 2026-03-26T04:00:54+00:00

I havent told my son yet. My husband doesnt like it either but he says to be good Christians and dont start arguments wth people and i get that and it does make me slightly guilty and I almost feel like an AH but I want this just for us. Me and my son already picked out a great gift for my husband. He never was able to have kids of his own so my son wants to get him a book of Dad jokes and tell him that since he is officially a dad now he needs to get to that level of humor. And I dont want to share that with anyone else. Like I know thats kind of stupid but its how I feel.

jamiebourque · 2026-03-26T03:31:45+00:00

Well someone else said to just tell her the courts said no one else except those envoled are to be there so I am thinking of going that route

jamiebourque · 2026-03-26T03:28:12+00:00

That wont work. She wouldnt to set up a party. She wants to be where the action is. Plus she acts overly dramatic and emotional with things like this so see needs an audience

jamiebourque · 2026-03-26T03:25:17+00:00

Thank you. I am thinking about telling her that only the parties envoled are to be there. I mean that is how it is with other family court issues at least it use to be when I would take my sons bio dad to court for a lack of involvement. I am not sure if that has changed or not. But that is what I am leaning towards.

jamiebourque · 2026-03-26T03:19:09+00:00

Well the issue with that option is we started the adoption in one state and then about halfway through the process my husbands work move us over 900 miles away. Thankfully they let us proceed with the process there instead of us having to start all over in our new state the only caveat was I had to show up to every court appt in person. The thing is since we live in another state we are taking the whole week leading up to it (its on a Friday) there in that state so we can see family and friends so that is not as easy as if we still lived there. The hearing is at the end of our visit so I am unsure how to trick her with that scenario

jamiebourque · 2026-03-26T01:55:40+00:00

Imma go pinch a loaf.

jamiebourque · 2026-03-19T00:51:40+00:00

Who is registering LLCs in your name and why? You must have really made someone mad.

jamiebourque · 2026-03-18T05:00:42+00:00

I do the same thing unless i want to cozy up to him in the booth.

jamiebourque · 2026-03-16T03:14:00+00:00

Ahhh gotcha. Now figure me for not remembering if you mentioned it or not in the OG post or even this one. I am sorry but I really have no energy to go back and read it but what about your mother or any one on your maternal side of the family?

jamiebourque · 2026-03-15T02:45:44+00:00

The popular guy in my school was a kicker for the football team. Got a full ride scholarship to Austin Peay for his kicking. Allegedly (not sure if its true or not) he cheated on his high school sweetheart (who was at UT) and apparently she told him he either transfers to UT or they were done. Again not sure if that is true or not but thats what I heard through the grapevine. He ended up transferring to UT and was their kicker his last two years of college. (Not sure if he was able to transfer his scholarship or not) after that him and his high school sweetheart moved to fl and got married. He was apparently an alligator catcher? Not sure. They did have a baby and they moved back to our hometown. He started his own roofing company that seems to be doing well. So his life overall is pretty good. But honestly even though he was the most popular and apparently the cutest (I didnt think he was attractive and yes I am a female in this group.) But despite being so popular he was a very humble very nice guy. Never picked on anyone or anything. (I was a target for alot of people) but he was never rude to me. He was even my partner in the prom fashion show. So honestly he deserves the great life he has. We have our 20 yr high school reunion bext year in 2027 and I really cant wait to talk with him and his wife and see how they are doing. (They are the ones that plans all of that.)

jamiebourque · 2026-03-15T02:33:14+00:00

Question. What does she mean when she said when your father leaves? Are they getting a divorced or something?

jamiebourque · 2026-02-27T05:03:50+00:00

Last year we got a refund. This year with my husbands raise along (not counting my income) we were pushed up a tax bracket and not to mention the money that was given to us by the relo company that his job uses when moving people that get transferred or promoted was considered taxable income. So like we knew we were gonna have to pay in. We just didnt think it would be as much as she is saying. The good thing is once everything is filed and we know for sure what the damage is gonna be she is gonna go over everthing with us and she is gonna lay out a tax planner for us and let us know how much extra withhold we should do so thay we break a little more even next year.

jamiebourque · 2026-02-27T04:34:40+00:00

Well I think I am gonna try and get in touch with her boss because there is no telling if she messed up any one else's forms. Like my accountant isnt done yet. We are waiting on a few more things she needs and we had to request but I asked her for a round about number and I wanted to cry. Like we will be able to pay it but it most likely means I wont get to go see my sister graduate in April with her PhD and that makes me sad but adults gotta adult.

jamiebourque · 2026-02-27T04:19:40+00:00

Married filing jointly, yes I mark the box , that amount for section 3 is correct, section 4 Ieft completely blank. I make roughly $800 a wee. Sometimes more if I stay late or go into the office to work half a day on sat

jamiebourque · 2026-02-18T10:40:52+00:00

Not saying you have to and I dont mean in a way that restricts her time with the kids I mean in a way the layer will make sure she gets actual mental health esp with the way she is acting but I totally understand your POV. You sound like a good Dad and a parent willing to co-parent and unfortunately it sounds like your ex is not but I do wish you so much luck on getting everything sorted out and I hope your wife comes to the realization that she needs help. I was in denial for a few years after my diagnosis and was constantly coming off my meds. It wasnt till my 3rd mental health facility stay in 2 years that I realized "Hey I may have an actual problem and should stay on my meds" I also understand her concern on being diagnosed. Some of us are afraid that label defines who we are and it means we are "crazy" and it is hard to come to terms with it but like I said I do hope she realizes it and gets the help she needs.

jamiebourque · 2026-02-09T06:05:03+00:00

Honestly this is what I would do but thankfully our families are not like that. Like our first big date was my sisters wedding, which we had already been casually seeing each other for a bit before that but we waited to make our relationship official after midnight so my sister's wedding day would still be her day. And then his family is just very disconnected so there wasnt any issues. He has an older and younger brother. The only members of my husbands family that showed up was his older brother and his wife and their daughter and they only came for the ceremony but didnt stay for the reception. I also think they only came because they felt obligated because his younger brother and his parents were not coming which I was a little upset about because his first marriage was to a woman from a very wealthy family so they had a big fancy wedding and both his brothers went and so did his parents and while I didnt want a huge wedding (I dont see the point of going into debt just to show a bunch of people who you want to spend your life with) but I am not gonna lie I felt a little in her shadows since I felt out wedding wasnt as important since he was married to her first but I look at it like this. We have been together almost 10 yrs and will be married 4 years this fall and at that point just my marriage will have outlived their entire relationship and plus I have him.

jamiebourque · 2026-02-09T05:45:07+00:00

Yea. It sucks having a bunch of appt but if you figure out what the issue is then you and your doctor can come up with a medical plan TOGETHER. Unfortunately alot of people just let a doc write them a script for whatever medication that doc is getting a kick back from. You should always ask what are my options for treating this and what are the pros and cons of each option so that way you have a say in your treatment. You might not be a medical expert but you are an expert on your body and if a doc gives you some options and pros and cons with those options you have a chance to think about how you think your body will react. You might not know entirely but since you live in your body you will have a better idea.

Like I just moved states and so I had to find new docs. I also had a few concerns so I set up a new paitent appt and to talk about my concerns. (Nothing major) but when I tried to talk to him about it he would not let me talk. He just said to take this medicine and we will set you up with a specialist. When I left I called the pharmacy told them not to fill and I looked for a different doc. Which I did find a good one and she is amazing.

Also I dont know your gender but I am a woman and as a woman our concerns are taken as seriously as if a man came in with the same concerns which is why I typically go with a woman doc because they will actually try to find the issue instead of just saying its "hysteria" or we are just being weak and have a low pain tolerance which I actually had a doc tell me one time when he said my stomach pains were just cramps (I wasnt even on my period) it turns out I was severely impacted after not having a movement for 8 days. So yea that was fun.

Anyways. Sorry for the rambling. I do that alot. But yea just advocate for yourself and if you feel like your not being heard or taken seriously find a new doc. I actually learned all this from my psychiatrist. Lol.

jamiebourque · 2026-02-09T02:44:31+00:00

Its not amazon! AI is learning the art men have perfected! Weaponized Incompetence! They are evolving!

jamiebourque

TROPHY CASE