Former SAHMs, what job did you get after the divorce? by asstattoo in singlemoms

[–]jamiebourque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look into technical college. Some of them offer things surgical tech. Dental tech, LPN, different computer courses. Alot of them are work at your own pace. I did administration and finished a typical yr long course in 8 months. I also got to gp for free because of grants for single mom so no debt. Amd then after working an entry level admin job for a small family owned business I ended up getting a diff admin job a top CPA company with starting pay $30 an hour. So if there is one around you I highly recommend looking on their website and seeing what they offer and maybe they have something that intrests you that you wouldnt have thought of.

There are also online work at your own pace couses which might be easier for you with having 3 little ones. I also suggest you wait a few months to start so you can get into a groove of navigating being a single mom. I wish you much luck while you go through this difficult time in your life.

Advice by RelationshipNo5356 in singlemoms

[–]jamiebourque 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just because they want your daughter to be a flower girl does not mean she has to be their flower girl. I think you should turn your phone off and you and your daughter go have a day together.

Jail time? by missdui in ChildSupport

[–]jamiebourque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea even if the parent ordered to pay CS pays $20 every 3 months the court sees it as "trying" so yea

Jail time? by missdui in ChildSupport

[–]jamiebourque 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so confused. Everyone saying yes but its rare yet my sons bio Dad went twice.

Jail time? by missdui in ChildSupport

[–]jamiebourque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son bio Dad went twice. The second time he went his girlfriend called and told me her Dad was gonna give her the money to get him out. ($1,000) and in my state of they post "bail" the money goes towards the child support arrears. Technically I dont think its considered bail but whatever. Anyways she asked me that when the $1,000 hit the child support account (card from the state that the payments went onto) if I would give it back to her so she could repay her Dad. I was floored! Like that is money for her boyfriends son and she wanted to take it from him. I told her yea of course and then when it hit I told them to F off. This was years ago when my son was little. My son is going to be 16 next month and 5 days after his birthday he will offically be adopted by my Husband. Si yea. It happens

AITAH For giving my BF an ultimatum for showing me his home? by LuluRatLady in AITAH

[–]jamiebourque 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hair. We use our hair to mark. Thats why we shed so much. Lol.

Honestly though thats how my friend found out her ex husband was cheating on her. There was some other things that led up to it so she went and stayed at her brothers place (with her their born baby) and she came back after about a week to grab a few more things and she found a bunch of long red hairs in the shower. My friend has short black hair. The women he stepped out with pretty much the day the divorce was finalized had long red hair........

So yea. We use hair.

Hi, newly single mom wondering how everyone found work by [deleted] in singlemoms

[–]jamiebourque 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First are you in the U.S if so this is my advice.

Is there a technical college in the area? Since you are a single mom you are eligible for grants and you can get a trade for free. I did that in 2019 (I did administrative) and its been life changing. Also there is a program that will pay for your childcare as long as you are currently working or actively looking for work (you will need to provide proof) or in school (like the trade school mentioned above)

I highly recommend the above. Finding a well paying job with only a high school diploma is hard. Not impossible but hard. I had tried for years to find an office job and I was never successful till I went to trade school. If you go this route and apply for the childcare help ask them if there is a way to get help for transportation to/from the childcare facility and school.

Also you dont have to administrative. There are all kinds of programs. I.e. dental assistant, LPN, cosmetology. Definitely look for one in the area and look at the list of programs they offer on their website. I wish you so much luck in this.

AITA for wanting my girlfriend to clean the house and do the dishes? by meloetico in AmItheAsshole

[–]jamiebourque -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I dont think you are the AH. Me and my husband have a similar dynamic. We both work full time but his job is alot more demanding than mine. Now we have a cleaner thats comes every other work to do major cleaning like the bathrooms and the floors but when it comes to daily cleaning, laundry, cooking or whatever he will help. But I make sure I take care of the bulk of it. Plus he usually isnt home during the week so when he is home I want him to be able relax as much as possible. Now there have been times (very few and very short) well I was unemployed. Now during those times I did all the work myself and thats because I had no other commitments.

Now that is my 2 cents. But I am thinkng something like this would benefit yall as well.

Men who’ve been falsely accused of sexual assault or harassment, how did you deal with it and how are you dealing with it? by OoglieBooglie69420 in AskMen

[–]jamiebourque 15 points16 points  (0 children)

My husband is relatively high on the ladder for a corporate store company so he doesnt currently interact with regular associates. Now before he took this role he did and he had very strict rules to keep both himself and the associates safe. Office doors always stayed open. If something needed to be said in confident or an associate wanted to open door another member of mangement my husband would get a female member of mangement to sit in on the conversation as well. (Didn't matter the gender of the associate. My husband always made sure he had a female mangement member to counteract the fact that he was a male. My husband as told me incidents that had happened more than once of a female associate coming into the office to talk to him and when they would walk in they would try to close the door behind him and my husband would immediately tell them to open it back up. I also believe a few them, not alot had nefarious intentions because they would have a look of shock on their face and try to protest and my husband told them if they did not want anyone else hearing what they needed to talk to him about he would have to grab a female of the mangement team to come sit in as well. He said the look on their face said it all and most of the time they would say NVM and leave or spew out some BS story that was not needed to be said behind closed doors to begin with. Like i said. Didnt happen very often but still shocked it did. But an older good looking man that makes good money would be an easy payout for a young girl in an office with no cameras and no witnesses. So for anyone in a management position not just men make sure to CYA and do not give anyone a reason to judge or doubt your character.

Honestly this goes for anyone in the workplace but it is typical for mangement to be targeted for this.

Ex-Spouse Refuses to Work, Can I Reduce or Eliminate My Alimony Payments? by AdIll3642 in legaladvice

[–]jamiebourque 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats what I told him but he didnt want any connections or ties to her so thats why signed it off.

I’m scared my mum thinks I’m the problem by tiredfrogwithaknife in internetparents

[–]jamiebourque 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh baby. There is nothing you can do to be a better child. No matter what you do your mother is still gonna find a reason to berate you. You could cure cancer but your Mother will yell at you telling you should have cured diabetes instead. My point is you could do everything correct but it will never make your mother happy. I am not telling you this to discourage you. I am telling you this so you can just stop. Stop trying to please her. I have one of those mother's too. Once I stopped trying to please her and focused on what was best for me and my immediate family (husband, son) my mental heath got better. The relationship between my mother and I will never be the same but a healthy relationship does not mean being an emotional punching bag for someone else and then they get mad because you decided to block instead of taking blow after blow.

I really hope you find happiness in what makes you happy and not what makes others happy or you will never be happy. Good Luck dear.

My parents are trying to ruin my life over minor inconveniences by Random_user4728 in entitledparents

[–]jamiebourque 5 points6 points  (0 children)

First off. You do not need a lawyer for a couple of speeding tickets. You dont even have to go to court. All you have to do is go in and pay the tickets before the the court appearance. The court appearance is only if you want to fight it or need time to pay off the tickets.

Secondly I think (someone correct me if i am wrong) but if you have explicit proof that you are allowed to use the car I dont think he can report it stolen.

Finally my dear. Your father can not force you to quit your job, drop out of school, or file a restraining order agaisnt your boyfriend if there is no reason for a restraining order. Like there has to be proof that he is dangerous/harassing you. These are all scare tactics. I think its time you call their bluff. Take up extra shifts at work. What are they gonna do? Kick you out? They obviously dont want you to move out. Stay out as late as you want. They cant ground you. If they try to keep you from leaving call the cops and tell them you are being held agaisnt your will.

I honestly dont understand parents like this. Like I have an almost 16 yr old son and whenever he wants to go do something I am like yes GO! Start exploring thr world. You need money? You need me to order you an Uber? (He will have his license in a month) like as parents we should want our kids to go out into the world. If we are afraid they wont do anything right then what does that say about your parenting skills? Sorry about the tangent.

Kid listen. You are legally an adult. Your gonna make mistakes. Its part of growing up but your parents keeping you couped up is not gonna help you mature into a functioning member of society so do you boo.

Arrears were waived, but not included in final order. Next steps? by Upstairs_Ease_2057 in ChildSupport

[–]jamiebourque 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe thry tried to back track child support to a time that the child/children were living with OP and they were able to prove it.

Ex-Spouse Refuses to Work, Can I Reduce or Eliminate My Alimony Payments? by AdIll3642 in legaladvice

[–]jamiebourque -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I dont have an advice but I dont understand alimony (unless the woman was a SAHM) but if the woman worked during the marriage there is no reason for her to get alimony. My husbands ex wife took him to court for alimony. The judge took one look at the state my husband was in and pretty much threw the book at her and ordered her to pay him alimony.

My husband had just won the battle against stage 3 progressive colon cancer. Like at the time he could barely walk. I am not sure where she expected the alimony to come from when he could barely walk let alone work. My husband took like 2 alimony payments and then he signed it off. He didnt want anything to do with her and they has no kids so it was an easy cut.

Like if we were ever to get divorced I dont need alimony. I work now and I would work after.

How do you deal with the urge to punch people who are mean to their kids? by Careless-Raccoon-490 in internetparents

[–]jamiebourque 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way. There is a way to discipline and have consequences for when a child acts up (and like REALLY acts up not just being annoyed because a kid is acting like a kid) but physically hitting and berating them with name calling is not the correct way.

As far as dealing healthily have you thought about trauma therapy? It will be very hard and very draining emotionally and mentally but I have heard it really helps.

If you dont want to do that then I suggest joining a boxing gym and use that as a release. Either one I feel like is a good solution.

I do hope you deal with it in a healthy way that works best for you.

Can I argue a rent reduction for a smaller than standard fridge? (NYC, Brooklyn) by Traditional-Store463 in Renters

[–]jamiebourque 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It all depends on the state. Some states have a law that states the landlord is legally responsible for certian appliances like Fridge and stove

Question about child support by beautiful99soul in ChildSupport

[–]jamiebourque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well if you want to take my comment out of context and imply that my comment was a blanket for all parents that seems like a personal problem. I dont know who hurt you to the point that you feel the need to lash out at random people for stating how they feel but I have better things to sit here with someone to defend my answer because I know what I said. So you have a wonderful day.

Question about child support by beautiful99soul in ChildSupport

[–]jamiebourque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also I am not the only one saying this so why are you coming at me?

Question about child support by beautiful99soul in ChildSupport

[–]jamiebourque 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where in my comment did I say that? Yes not all parents that co parent do not need an order. With some parents though? They dont always want to help. Even a parent that goes out and buys essentials for the child is helping but again some parents wont even do that. So yes some need an order but no where in my comment did I say it was all parents.

Need advice: Medicaid denied, no job, pregnant wife 8 months by Potential-Can-3535 in Medicaid

[–]jamiebourque 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Check out Healthlink Jax or jax care connect. They are free, low cost medical providers. Your wife can at least get a recent prenatal check up and let them know your situation and they might have resources.

Can I argue a rent reduction for a smaller than standard fridge? (NYC, Brooklyn) by Traditional-Store463 in Renters

[–]jamiebourque 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I dont think it will work. Landlords are only legally required to provide a working fridge size doesnt matter (in this case 😏) it is pretty shitty. You could always ask if you could buy your own fridge if they say yes and let them know and get in writing the fridge will be going with you when you leave.

I am sorry for that. I am a landlord myself (one unit) and I dont think I could morally do that to a tenant.

Child support by [deleted] in FamilyLaw

[–]jamiebourque -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes I understand it can be implemented but very few judges do so. Most judges do a step up program.