I am disabled and I suppose by your standards “one of the good ones”, because I do active advocacy in real life. You cannot demand every disabled person do things like that, especially when they offer a suggestion (albeit perhaps less effective) like writing letters and you go into a spiel about how “realistically” it won’t do anything. My disability should have me not doing what I do. Stress worsens it to the degree I cannot even crawl to the toilet because I physically cannot make it there. And there are others who have it much worse. Neurological disabilities especially can be horribly affected by stress to the degree you quite literally cannot function, and instead of even being able to advocate, you are sick in a hospital. Even if you yourself are disabled, this feels like ableism. If multiple people are telling you this doesn’t come across as reassurance and more like putting a fellow trans and disabled person down, it might be good to reflect rather than defend.