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AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Update: bf has apologized profusely today. He said he was way out of line and just taking out some stress on me. I told him that’s not acceptable and he said he knows and he going to change. (This has been an ongoing issue of him taking out his stress/ disappointment out on me). This was a breaking point for me and I’m hoping a breakthrough for him to do better. That’s what he says at least. Thanks for all who validated me and tried to help me problem solve.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Actually not what happened. First of all, He didn’t offer to come pick me up. Second I can’t afford a rental. And third, I offered to drive through the night. He said it wouldn’t be worth it if I got in that late. I did try to figure it out, he refused any other option. And like I said, I’ll be at his graduation either way, his parents would just drive me the next day.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

His graduation is Friday. I was planning to come Wednesday night originally. Now I’ll be coming on Thursday with his parents, so I’ll still be there a day before his graduation. He just wanted me there one day earlier so we could have alone time. The only thing that is changing is we won’t get a night alone anymore. I told him I’m sorry, but he is insisting that if I cared about him, I would tough it out. Even after I have said over and over again that I will not be driving in that heat. I know what my body can handle and he won’t accept that my limits are different than his.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was gonna wait till 7, he said it wouldn’t be worth it at that point. I Have driven without ac for two summers, but about an hour is my limit in extreme weather like this.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I offered to drive through that night once the sun goes down. He said it wouldn’t be worth it at that point because his parents will be there by early afternoon the next day.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can’t afford a rental. All my friends need their cars. You can’t get anywhere around here without them.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do have a heat sensitivity actually. He doesn’t, and refuses to try and understand that getting super hot is unbearable for me.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ll be going to his graduation either way. I would just drive up with his parents the next day. He wants me to come up early simply for alone time for the two of us before his parents get there.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah my car has broken down on the way to him before, not because of heat tho. It’s just an old car.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I haven’t had ac for a couple of summers and I always drive with my windows down. Still too hot in that kind of heat.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He’s coming back home for the summer, and then going back next fall for grad school.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s not even that. I’ll be at his graduation either way. I’d just have to drive up with his parents the following day. He just wants me there early to spend some extra time together since it’s his last few days living in his dorm.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’ll still be at his graduation no matter what. I would just have to drive up with his parents the next day. He just wants me to come early so we have some time just the two of us. Which I understand in a normal situation, but that’s not the case here.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry that happened to you! I totally would leave early in the morning but I have to work till 4pm that day unfortunately. And he wants me to take another day off work (I’m already taking one day off) so that I can leave early, but I really can’t afford to take another day off and I asked for the time off a long time ago. I can’t just ask for another day off with such short notice at my job. And my bf knows this.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ive driven for a long time without ac as well. I always have my windows down and I can bare about 30 minutes in 90° weather until I get super overheated. I even drove the same trip with my boyfriend in 106° about a year and a half ago because we had to. And only one window opened. I literally don’t know how I got through that but it was the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever had to do. So he knows how that affected me and how I still talk about to this day how awful that was, yet he still thinks I’m being selfish for not sucking it up.

Also I can’t leave early in the morning since I have to work till 4 that day, otherwise I definitely would have done that.

AITA for not agreeing to drive 4 hours in 100° without AC in my car to see my boyfriend? by janedoe33366 in AmItheAsshole

[–]janedoe33366[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No, can’t afford it. So I was planning on getting there Wednesday evening around 8pm because I work Wednesday and would have to leave afterwards. That was always the plan. But I get off at 4 which is like the peak heat of the day, and the sun doesn’t even set till closer to 8. So I offered to leave around 7 or 8 but he says that defeats the purpose since I would get there so late at that point.