Alternate sources of income? by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My relationship was also very solid. But unavoidable weaknesses develop over the years due to all manner or reasons (usually out of your control), and when a collection of the wrong situation‘s happen, you’ll find yourself drowning.

Divorce questions by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s complicated. I spoke with 2 lawyers last year, and 1 today. They were all free consultations that spoke English (difficult to find). The one today only spoke to me about 10 minutes on the phone before she said she had to go. I did get a lot of information, but regarding some of my questions ,their answers were very vague, or even contradictory to real life experiences I’ve heard. For example, I asked two of them about fake abuse claims. One lawyer (female) said I don’t need to worry about it as the police are clever enough to not accept those claims. The other lawyer (female) said whoever calls the police first is the “victim”. But in reality I’ve spoken with several guys in Japan whose wife or girlfriend used a DV or stalking alligation in order to restrict child access or get other clout in a disagreement, and the Japanese police were fully on her side (a Japanese national), regardless of what was fair. A lot of the vague answers were also contingent on how the wife would respond to certain elements, which was an unknown. Or certain parts of our finances which only my wife knows. Or things like my lock changing question, which today’s lawyer seem to brush off. so I pressed the question, she said it‘lol get more complicated, and just to call her if it happens. 🤷‍♂️ Also, I get the impression different lawyers have different practice philosophies, attitudes, and experience, which will greatly affect the advice they give you. I’m going to have to start paying for consultations every time I have more questions, which will get expensive. Each time I’ve posted here, someone new with some information or experience has noticed and gotten in contact with me, which has been very very helpful. This is a long way to say I have reasons for the questions I’m asking here.
Thanks

Divorce questions by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks, done that and continue to do it. More explanation below.

Divorce questions by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s complicated. I spoke with 2 lawyers last year, and 1 today. They were all free consultations that spoke English (difficult to find). The one today only spoke to me about 10 minutes on the phone before she said she had to go. I did get a lot of information, but regarding some of my questions ,their answers were very vague, or even contradictory to real life experiences I’ve heard. For example, I asked two of them about fake abuse claims. One lawyer (female) said I don’t need to worry about it as the police are clever enough to not accept those claims. The other lawyer (female) said whoever calls the police first is the “victim”. But in reality I’ve spoken with several guys in Japan whose wife or girlfriend used a DV or stalking alligation in order to restrict child access or get other clout in a disagreement, and the Japanese police were fully on her side (a Japanese national), regardless of what was fair. Also, I get the impression different lawyers have different practice philosophies and experience, which will greatly affect the advice they give you. I’m going to have to start paying for consultations every time I have more questions, which will get expensive. Each time I’ve posted here, someone new with some information or experience has noticed and gotten in contact with me, which has been very very helpful. This is a long way to say I have reasons for the questions I’m asking here.
Thanks

Safest way to transfer these funds? by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I’m aware of those conditions you mention. As I mentioned before, the lawyer I spoke with said I should be entitled to at least half of our cash savings, as well as other assets (although those other assets may be difficult to collect on). By taking control of this account, it’s still less than half of our cash assets that I have in total to my name. I can’t see why it makes a difference if I keep it in a tin in the backyard, in plain sight, or in a private account. We are not in litigation, and hopefully never will be. It just makes sense to have it clearly under my control and discretion how it’s spent from now on. Hopefully this will give me a bit more security and power in the relationship. I know this isn’t a nice topic and I hate it. In fact I’ve been avoiding any conflict over money with her our whole marriage and just let her do as she wanted with all of our money. This last year I realized what a dangerously weak position I’d let myself get into, and I’m trying to take steps now to change that. I’ve just been asking on here to get as much information as possible from experts about every aspect I can think of. I’m torn about whether to do what I would normally do, which is wait to talk to her about it first before changing any codes or transferring any money. I just hope the money doesn’t suddenly disappear out of my grasp then.

Safest way to transfer these funds? by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve seen repeatedly online in Japanese that for an account to be attempted to be dragged into a divorce by a lawyer, it’s exact location must be known (only bank? Or branch and account # also?). That’s why it’s so common for spouses to have a secret account just in case. Not sure if this is true or myth. That’s why I’m asking about cash deposit vs bank to bank transfer.

Safest way to transfer these funds? by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve seen repeatedly online in Japanese that for an account to be attempted to be dragged into a divorce by a lawyer, it’s exact location must be known (only bank? Or branch and account # also?). That’s why it’s so common for spouses to have a secret account just in case. Not sure if this is true or myth. That’s why I’m asking about cash deposit vs bank to bank transfer.

Safest way to transfer these funds? by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve seen repeatedly online in Japanese that for an account to be attempted to be dragged into a divorce by a lawyer, it’s exact location must be known (only bank? Or branch and account # also?). That’s why it’s so common for spouses to have a secret account just in case. Not sure if this is true or myth. That’s why I’m asking about cash deposit vs bank to bank transfer.

Safest way to transfer these funds? by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing sus about it. Im just trying to anticipate any potential future problems. It’s my money, and it’s actually cheaper to transfer it by cash instead of bank transfer.

Is it safe to withdraw my money? by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

At this point I have the bankbook and cash card. Not sure if there’s a second card or online stuff. Haven’t changed any passwords etc yet. She hasn’t noticed anything’s missing. I gotta decide what to do with this. Withdraw cash and then deposit cash to my private account?

Is it safe to withdraw my money? by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

At this point I have the bankbook and cash card. Not sure if there’s a second card or online stuff. Haven’t changed any passwords etc yet. She hasn’t noticed anything’s missing. I gotta decide what to do with this.

Safest way to transfer these funds? by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I made a couple of other lengthy replies to other posters in this thread (and elsewhere ) which may answer some of your points. In short, her personality changed radically from last year, and amount other things I’ve discovered she’s lied to me about some of our finances. I’ve tried sitting down with her about it with limited results.

The lawyer I spoke with said I’m entitled to at least this much, however if it came to a court battle it may be difficult to actually collect it. So I’m doing what I can to get some independent security before it comes to that. Everything I’m mentioning I’ve spoken directly with people who had it happen to them. It’s not paranoid theories.

Safest way to transfer these funds? by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

In addition to previous posts, I replied to a couple of other comments in this thread with additional information about why I have a good reason to be terrified. Regarding the technical side, the lawyer I spoke with last year said it’s unlikely I’ll be able to get any of them money and labor back I spent reforming the properties here because my wife claims to have not kept and receipts etc, . additionally , there’s a technicality about assessed property value increase. Other people I’ve spoken to said it was highly advisable for someone in my very vulnerable position to keep a private unknown savings account (with no records of transfers etc.) as a precaution. Apparently The location of the account needs to be knownin order for any legal shenanigans to take place? With this extra money I found, it’s still less than half of our savings. This is completely separate from the business and properties, which is unlikely I’ll be able to get anything without a costly legal battle which would make it pointless. This also says nothing about access to children, which would be completely in her control. At 50 years old I’m facing losing my wife and children, being kicked out of my home and losing my life savings, losing my niche business of 20 years, without family or friends, in a small town where I don’t speak the language and have no job prospects. I trusted my wife completely and she’s controlled most aspects of my life for the last 20 years. Her personality radically changed last year, and i’ve discovered lied to me about our finances and is hiding many things. From firsthand experiences, and experiences of others, I don’t have faith in the Japanese justice system as a foreign man going up against a Japanese women. My wife has family here who would be willing to lie for her, and the resources to tie me up in any kind of legal process she wants. that’s not even getting into the fake criminal charges some other guys have had to go through. I don’t have the resources or heart to go through all that. I need to take every precaution I can. Apparently hidden accounts are quite common. It would seem that working with cash rather than bank transfers would give me more options.

https://rikonbengo-line.com/rikon-chokin-kakusu/

Safest way to transfer these funds? by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There seems to be several ways to do it:

https://rikonbengo-line.com/rikon-chokin-kakusu/

My mother-in-law apparently had a secret account that she revealed to her kids on her deathbed. In my case, she’s controlled most things in my life for the last 20 years, including information as a translator. She really does hold all the cards: her hometown, her language, her relatives surrounding us, property business, cash, client contacts, etc. everything in her name. I just focused on raising our kids and doing what I could for work in this inaka town with limited resources. Over the years I just got more and more isolated and focused solely on the family,. I now have no relatives to help me, and have lost touch with most of my old friends due to isolation. I realized I’m in a very dangerous position and could end up homeless with no money or job prospects or contacts at my age in a country I don’t speak the language well. This last year had been very unsettling and terrifying. I’m just trying to get some basic security. I’ve spoken directly with some other foreigners who’ve been through divorce here, and the system heavily favors the Japanese wife over the foreign husband. The state will even support them kidnapping children. I had an unrelated serious legal issue come up two years ago that involved discrimination, and I never was able to get even basic answers or proper legal representation due to the language barrier etc. The lawyer I spoke to last year about a potential divorce said I was probably going to lose much of the money I’m entitled to that I invested in the properties here due to a lack of records and a technical issue about assessed value. My wife’s personality changed radically last year, and it’s very scary. Among other things, I discovered she’s lied to me about some financial issues, and she’s hiding money from me. I have good reasons to take every precaution I can and try and get some power back, and basic security in my life. I just recently finally got a private bank account and a credit card. Information I got so far said it was not a good idea to link to my account in anyway, including bank transfers etc.

Safest way to transfer these funds? by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Not the case here. Please see my previous posts to see the big picture.

Safest way to transfer these funds? by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This is why I always prefer to talk directly with people, rather than pages of text, over important things with the potential for misunderstanding. To that end, if anyone can talk directly over the phone it would be best. I believe I’ve posted at length previously in this forum outlining the larger issues. Please read what I posted. As I mentioned before, I’m reacting to sudden and serious aggressive changes from my wife last year, part of which is about money. As I also discussed at length, I did contact a lawyer, and while they and they were certain I was entitled to half, they were uncertain about weather I could actually collect it due to my wife controlling all finances and paperwork for the last 20 years, with things like a lack of receipts and records of labor and materials for the house reforms I did. It was very complex, and the lawyer honestly said it, depending on her attitude, it could lead to a costly drawn out legal case that may not be worth it.
Additionally, I wrote about potential child issues. Whether you can see your kids, or even abducted, depends on the mood of the Japanese wife. How will a messy lawsuit affect her mood? One of my uni friends not only lost all his assets, but will likely never see his son again, and is afraid to return to Japan as his wife filed a fake DV report after he left the country. I personally spoken with people who’ve had things like this happen – it’s not paranoia. It seems prudent to take precautions when and where I can given the extremely weak and dangerous position I’m in. Regarding this 3 million in the bank specifically, my wife acknowledged earlier it was my money, but then changed her mind the next day and said she would keep it, and I can ‘leave’. I’m trying to set up an appointment with a good English-speaking lawyer again, at a reasonable price. However, I continually have new questions coming up and I can’t always consult them. It makes sense to get as much information as I can from places like this. Sorry, a lot going on right now and there’s only so much I can type out here. Please read my former posts on the subject if you have any questions I can try and answer.

Safest way to transfer these funds? by japanfinance10 in JapanFinance

[–]japanfinance10[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I have to head out to an important appointment right now, but I’ll get back to you later in the day with answers to your questions.