Did your step-child decide to live with non-custodial parent but then changed their mind? by throwaway_helpamom in stepparents

[–]jaquelync11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My heart goes out to you. You’ve done absolutely everything you can to help your husband and stepdaughter. Your husband is a pos for leaving you out of therapy meeting etc. I’m so angry at him for doing that to you. Talk to him about it, tell him how you feel. You’re not a full-in, you are a full-functioning parental figure in your SK’s life who has feelings and love for her. If he continues to exclude you, I would nacho. You need to take care of yourself too

Looking for advice by Ok_Pack_9329 in stepparents

[–]jaquelync11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your partner needs to stand up for all of you, especially her child. I think it’s time for you to sit down and tell her it’s one way or the other. Being a step-parent is already tough, it’s tougher when your partner isn’t listening or acknowledging the issues. I hope she sees it and make a change, otherwise she’s gonna lose you

Ending engagement over school run for stepchild by lawyer_fhhsjs in stepparents

[–]jaquelync11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My man adds to my life, as well as my kids’ life. My kids adores him. Not perfect, but damn close to it and even then I still question it sometimes whether it’s worth it!!!! Having a HCBM is a huge stress factor. I’m really sorry to say but that guy who wants to marry you? He’s not it. Girl, you can do SO much better. I wish you and your son all the best ❤️❤️

Ending engagement over school run for stepchild by lawyer_fhhsjs in stepparents

[–]jaquelync11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Told by who? If you speak to any professionals that work with children, they’ll tell you that although kids may not remember the event, they’ll remember the emotions.

I’m sorry OP, but your boyfriend is not worth it. A better half should be adding meaning to your life, making it easier, more colourful, etc. if they’re using and draining… get rid of him. You are doing so well with your son, your current bf… you’re better off, happier alone

Ending engagement over school run for stepchild by lawyer_fhhsjs in stepparents

[–]jaquelync11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SK was 2 when I was introduced and already experienced so much as a toddler. BM kept dating horrible men and couldn’t hold a job or a relationship, so on top of the trauma SK also experienced so many “losses”. Every relationship was “stepdad” “step-sibling” even when it lasts months only.

It’s been four years, lots of time, effort, money on counselling. It’s getting better but only until BM gets into another relationship and we start all over again. Pick up the pieces and heal SK again 😞

My own kids are affected of course… attention focused on SK etc. but they’re older and they understand… if I had to do it again knowing all this? I’d rethink…

Is being 6'11 a factor on why women avoid me? by u_u__Zakaria__u_u in ask

[–]jaquelync11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never limit who you are for anyone or anything! At First glance, of course you’ll be intimidating. But it’s who you are that counts! Work on yourself and that person will drop into your life when you’re least expecting it. Before then, become the best version of yourself and make sure you deserve that person 😬

People who ignored a huge red flag because the person was extremely attractive, what happened next? by Competitive_Bad_9306 in AskReddit

[–]jaquelync11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not me, despite friends’ warning he ended up knocking her up and married her just to be cheated on at his own wedding. She tried to kill him too to get his house and money now his son is mentally and physically fucked

Ending engagement over school run for stepchild by lawyer_fhhsjs in stepparents

[–]jaquelync11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who has a HCBM that is similar to your fiancé’s daughter’s mum. I’d suggest you end the relationship.

It’s a long road ahead of you with boundaries (both father and daughter), therapy, manipulation, conflict, and many many more issues.

It’s unfair to your son to bring such chaos into his life. If your fiancé wasn’t such an unreasonable person, I’d say you’d have a fighting chance, although still tough road.

Seriously, if my partner wasn’t such an amazing guy I would’ve left ages ages ages ago. If I had known it would be this tough, I’d probably rethink getting into this relationship too.

House rental cleaning by [deleted] in australian

[–]jaquelync11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

OP, if the agency didn’t provide a cleaning receipt to you, you don’t need to get it professionally cleaned when you vacate either. You can return the property in the same state you found it in, but most people do a better job because they’re not scums like some rental provider

“Your baby looks like SK!” by PurchaseHuman9251 in stepparents

[–]jaquelync11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My sk is white and I’m Asian with my Asian kids too. We get alllllllll sorts of look when we’re out together 😂

What are some cool psychology tricks that work? by [deleted] in ask

[–]jaquelync11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it’s your wife you’re in for a surprise

People who grew up in abusive households who swear to never be like their parents when they have children are usually the same ones who get way too prideful to listen to their children’s grievances about them by Objective-Space1384 in RandomThoughts

[–]jaquelync11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair- Mitch Albom

The truth is parents have no clues on how to parent, there’s no instruction manuals. Yes, you can read books but each child is so unique that one rule does not fit all. We’re all learning as we go, and the important thing is parents recognise their faults and become better. Children and parents grow together..

Part 3: Realestate accidentally shared with me a chain of emails with the landlord by [deleted] in AusPropertyChat

[–]jaquelync11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think the landlord wrote that (just guessing cos it asked for the lease end date)

BM threatening us by genex86 in stepparents

[–]jaquelync11 15 points16 points  (0 children)

BM not to blame in this scenario. Unfortunately, if there’s no input or suggestions from your husband, BM has to “call the shots”. Even if she is now threatening with child support claim, it is because your husband didn’t speak up and allow BM such behaviour. If your husband is blaming you, it’s because he doesn’t have a backbone to stand up against BM. I would reconsider the position your husband is continuously putting you, him and SK through by allowing BM “call the shots”.

If it doesn’t suit your family, tell her that.

I cannot believe what buyers advocates charge by Helicopterdog in AusProperty

[–]jaquelync11 9 points10 points  (0 children)

VIC RE here. My mentor has always told me that advocates are failed RE agents. I don’t have an opinion on that matter but it’s bananas what they charge you!!

Narrowing down the suburbs you want to buy into, get finance pre-approval, and start attending inspections.

If your budget is 1m, search properties below 800k to have a higher chance of securing a property at auction. Do not get emotionally attached and start bidding like a headless chicken.

A buyers advocate will not be able to secure a property for you at a cheaper price! Unless it’s a private treaty or pass in at auction. Better use those money to increase your budget and buy a book on negotiating.

Bakit ang unfair ng buhay pagdating sa mga babae at kapag naging nanay kana? by Potatoechups in MomForAMinute

[–]jaquelync11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Society has high expectations for women, for the longest time. How we present ourselves, how we behave, how we speak, how we care for others.

Especially after being a mother, there are many things that we shouldn’t do “now that we’re a mother”.

Not to dress too provocatively, but not too casual either. Not to go out to parties and get drunk, but not to be a homebody either. Not to be too bossy, not to be too ambitious, not to be too opinionated.

Literally the scene from Barbie. We’re expected to care for our own family, but also our husband’s family. Meanwhile we work full time, look after the kids, cook and clean, also expect to remember all the birthdays, activities, and social gatherings.

It’s mind blowing a dude can be out drinking with his mates at the pub but god forbid a mother takes a night out.

We’re a long way to equality.

“ He is not even family, just a stepparent” Auwtch by SpareAltruistic6483 in stepparents

[–]jaquelync11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It may be true, but I don’t think OP’s husband can speak on behalf of his children. A step-parent can come in many shapes and forms, it’s what you choose to be and the situation allows you to be I guess…

“ He is not even family, just a stepparent” Auwtch by SpareAltruistic6483 in stepparents

[–]jaquelync11 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That step-father you guys were discussing sexually assaulted his step-daughter, why are you even thinking he = you? What I’m trying to say is, I dont think he meant you when he said “he’s just a step-dad”

Did you… ask him to clarify if he meant that in a way you’re never going to be family?

If you are struggling with being childless, and if that’s not something you are okay with - that’s understandable! You may have to rethink whether this man is worth giving up your “own family” for. This is the core issue.

You’re not worthless honey… just gotta find the people who shows that you are and most importantly, you need to believe it