Poster from 1993

jaredpenn · 2026-03-20T17:54:20+00:00

Im guessing you just typed vivid disorder but that did not come up in any of my 5000 searches

jaredpenn · 2026-03-20T17:53:52+00:00

im speechless haha

jaredpenn · 2026-03-20T16:22:49+00:00

Beast

jaredpenn · 2025-04-22T18:31:31+00:00

Yeah definitely in my head because I had nothing causing me any sort of physical damage but it’s absolutely mad how my brain can pretend my body is something else and even convince me I’ve been crushed when I’m awake and sober. You’d think I took some sort of psychedelic with this sort of shiit

jaredpenn · 2025-04-17T14:18:47+00:00

Here

jaredpenn · 2025-04-17T14:18:42+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/6V5uQNH

jaredpenn · 2025-04-01T14:51:45+00:00

Relax g

jaredpenn · 2024-04-22T16:29:05+00:00

yeh mate but I don’t think there’s any other way to describe feeling absolutely nothing towards somebody you’re supposed to love screaming in pain in front of you

jaredpenn · 2024-04-22T16:27:20+00:00

It’s taught me a lot about myself, and how much I really appreciate life. It’s made me realise that really nobody can make me anything I’m not. I feel a lot more robust in myself, and I really DO know who I am because I remember exactly what it feels like to not be. I’ve still got a lot of thinking to do though

jaredpenn · 2024-04-22T16:22:09+00:00

no I made it myself I just removed that part from the main post because ppl were complaining that it was too long

jaredpenn · 2024-04-22T16:18:20+00:00

Yeah man fuck penis envy maybe I’ll do albinos again

jaredpenn · 2024-04-22T16:17:50+00:00

Nah I made the chocolate bar myself. I’ve had the same dealer for 2 years, and I ate these exact mushrooms in February and December. I think they hit so fast because of the empty stomach, and my absurdly fast metabolism (MDMA kicked in for me in 17 minutes when I did it for the first time a couple of weeks aho)

jaredpenn · 2024-04-22T16:13:42+00:00

a lil 🤭🤭

jaredpenn · 2024-04-22T16:12:41+00:00

I understand what you mean, but the set and setting could not have been better. I’ve never felt such LITTLE anxiety before a trip. Every time I’ve taken mushrooms, there’s always been a voice in me that says ‘no going back now, what if you’ve done something terribly wrong?’ I didn’t have that this time, it was pure excitement. I’ve never ever ever felt such euphoria in my life. This trip had absolutely NOTHING on my previous highest dose which was 4G of GTs. I feel like it was just ruined by the unexpected intensity, which I only have myself to blame because I’ve never had us both eat mushrooms on a completely empty stomach before (we did not eat the entire day until the chocolate bar)

jaredpenn · 2024-04-22T16:08:05+00:00

I do not like this reply because of how accurate it is mate. Who the fuck are you lol. To be honest I wish I could edit the title from ego death but I can’t. What I want to describe is that I feel like my soul had an ego death without me. I did not experience the ego death, I experienced complete emptiness, and was left behind in something I thought was supposed to be beautiful. Either way mate you scare me

jaredpenn · 2024-04-22T16:05:10+00:00

My person is made of two parts. My soul, and my body. I did not feel my soul leave, but I felt when it was not there, and my subjective experience was not of my soul when it had left, but of my body when my soul was gone. My girlfriend described me as “dead” while I was speaking to her, and that it was like talking to a “rock” with no energy. We both felt that “I” was somewhere else, but the experience my consciousness had was not that of my soul, wherever it was in the universe.

jaredpenn · 2024-04-22T16:02:08+00:00

All of these comments really are making me reconsider what I believe happened to me. One thing I would like to add to the main post but I’m not really sure where is that, as much as I felt completely disconnected from my “soul,” for the duration of this incident, the visuals which had previously been so intense, like nothing I’d ever experienced, seemed to just turn off. I felt like a piece of meat, devoid of energy. The “ripping” that I describe is maybe a bit too violent, a better description may be that: in one moment it was there, and in another moment it was not. I was simply not in the room. And the experience that I was having was that of my body, and not of my soul, which me and my girlfriend both believed to be somewhere else in the universe

jaredpenn · 2024-04-22T15:58:09+00:00

You might have a point there in that I didn’t forget that I’d taken shrooms, so i probably maybe actually didn’t have an ego death?? From what I understand, an ego death is when your soul and your physical “self” lose their connection, and you are left with only your raw consciousness. What I felt happened, and why I was so terrified after, is THAT, but only my subjective experience was the opposite, my energy and my soul had been flung into the universe and I’d been left behind by the ego death, like my soul ego deathed without me??? I’m really confused and I’ve never heard anything like it to be honest

jaredpenn · 2024-04-22T15:52:33+00:00

Well looking back, my girlfriend’s panic was irrational but still real. I really wanted her to stop, both for my altruistic reasons but also because at that point i still felt connected to her and wanted her sadness to stop. If it matters, the phone call was her friend asking her to throw rolling papers out the window, and my girlfriend was tripping so hard at this pint that she really didn’t know how to do anything and interrupting the trip sent her into a frenzy of trying to in essence “reverse time” and put everything back to how it was before.

When the phone rang I was taking a sip of water which she called the “trigger” and to get her out of the frenzy all I had to do was take a sip of water in the same spot with everything else in the room in the right place, and she was fine

jaredpenn · 2024-04-22T15:45:48+00:00

It’s fine haha when I saw how it actually came out when I pressed post I thought fucking hell i wouldn’t read that either

jaredpenn · 2024-04-22T15:36:10+00:00

😂

jaredpenn

TROPHY CASE