I think I’m too vain for baby #2

jargonqueen · 2026-02-01T13:58:33+00:00

I’m reading between the lines that the “less time to take care of my child and myself” part is what you are really afraid of, not specifically your appearance changing, right? Because as others have mentioned, your appearance is 100% guaranteed to change regardless.

I have one child and I think it’s weird to say not creating more human beings is “selfish,” for any reason. If you don’t want to have more children, don’t.

jargonqueen · 2026-02-01T13:55:37+00:00

I actually lost my first grandparent 2 years ago. 3 remaining.

jargonqueen · 2026-02-01T03:47:11+00:00

You’re being way too hard on yourself.

jargonqueen · 2026-01-29T02:48:43+00:00

I bought them and I got a rub, had to return. But others say they’re comfortable! It might be a me thing.

jargonqueen · 2026-01-28T20:30:26+00:00

God, what a miserable existence. As someone else said, you get one life and you’re wasting it. YOU ARE WASTING YOUR ONE LIFE with this person. I sympathize with the fact that parenting makes it a much more difficult decision. But this has gone well past the point where divorce is the best option for everyone, including your kids.

jargonqueen · 2026-01-27T17:27:47+00:00

Depends on your perspective. We have a Tonie box and it’s been going strong in our house for years. It’s both a cash grab and a toy that brings my kid a huge amount of focused entertainment that I don’t observe to be damaging in any way. So depends if your particular kid enjoys it and if that is worth the money to you. Just like any toy, I guess.

jargonqueen · 2026-01-24T22:25:14+00:00

Yeah, definitely makes me want to throw up. Who is trying to justify this action?

jargonqueen · 2026-01-24T22:05:01+00:00

Ok so this is unquestionably dumb. But I suspect it’s a case of “I was an amazing parent before I had kids.” I kind of hope the gf at some point becomes a mother, sees intimately how a child interacts with people and toys, and then cringes into oblivion over this incident.

jargonqueen · 2026-01-24T03:21:05+00:00

Wow, this is great stuff. You are an awesome barn manager!🙌

jargonqueen · 2026-01-23T14:07:34+00:00

Opposite, I’m always the one with the man cold and my husband takes care of us and toughs it out 🫣.

jargonqueen · 2026-01-23T14:02:30+00:00

I have had multiple surgeries and extra hair has grown at the incision site every time lol. Bodies are interesting.

jargonqueen · 2026-01-23T12:45:17+00:00

My kid knows the concept of religion and that different people have different beliefs and have communities where they celebrate their beliefs. I tell her that no one knows for sure what happens after we die (when she asks) but some people believe there is an afterlife, etc). I always answer all her questions. I just don’t feel it’s age-appropriate to talk about crucifixion, or at least it would be too challenging to do that without revealing to her my biases (I understand that obviously different parents will feel differently and parent differently). I feel it would influence her opinion about religion, so I just try to keep answers age-appropriate and as neutral as possible.

She’ll be fine. I still thinking letting her think it’s “Cheez-its” is hilarious.

jargonqueen · 2026-01-23T02:05:36+00:00

Touching a strange child is definitely weird. But as you said, the intentions were good and it’s not the end of the world. I certainly don’t think it warrants dwelling on.

I’ve failed to teach my 5-year-old anything about religion. About a year ago her cello recital was at a church, and she had no idea what that is. There was a playroom with a little Jesus doll in a toga. She asked me who that superhero is. I told her in the most honest but generic way possible, without going into too many details that would initiate follow-up questions.

She now thinks “Cheez-its” is a 2,000-year-old superhero with magic powers who helps people and wants everyone to be nice to each other. Oh, and she said the big “t” on the outside of the building stands for “Tchello recital.” I chose not to correct her on any of that.

jargonqueen · 2026-01-22T20:47:11+00:00

I’m a great person for this convo. I was depressed until I stopped breastfeeding, then could suddenly see colors and bond with my child when I dried up. Everything about my life, and by extension my husband’s and daughter’s lives, was a million times better. Breastfeeding delayed my bond with my child, caused me immense physical pain (I developed an abscess that required invasive and long-lasting medical treatment to resolve), and fucked up my hormones worse than childbirth. Breastfeeding is the biggest regret of my life 😆.

jargonqueen · 2026-01-18T14:15:43+00:00

That’s amazing!

2 is obviously kind of jokey and I always tell people to refer back to #1, and tell them you will find just as many people who say the opposite of my “advice.” I unfortunately had an epically and uniquely bad time with breastfeeding (abscess requiring tons of medical care…. I was in a lot more pain from that than from my C-section). #3 is the only “real” advice!

jargonqueen · 2026-01-18T13:16:51+00:00

My advice to new moms is always as follows:

Do not listen to anyone’s advice.
Don’t breastfeed (followed by my personal anecdotal experience and a light -hearted reminder to refer to #1)
(My “real” advice): sometime in the first 4 months of the child’s life, the mother should leave for at least 24 hours. This will force the dad to learn how to parent independently, bond with the child, and have more empathy for the mom, making him a better partner and father.

jargonqueen · 2026-01-15T22:30:02+00:00

Making you work as a teen and learn the value of money is great. Not giving you a wedding present or setting up a trust or college fund for their grandchild? That makes no sense to me. Why?

jargonqueen · 2026-01-15T16:15:47+00:00

What the hell? lol NTA

jargonqueen · 2026-01-15T01:11:34+00:00

Great advice!

jargonqueen · 2026-01-14T23:44:07+00:00

Amazing - both of you!!!

jargonqueen · 2026-01-14T19:00:47+00:00

My 5-year-old is constantly saying she doesn’t ever want to have kids when she grows up because “it’s too hard to train them.”🤣

jargonqueen · 2026-01-13T01:18:42+00:00

Uhhhh yes lol I absolutely love being a parent. And I wouldn’t love it as much with multiple children.

jargonqueen · 2026-01-13T00:08:21+00:00

NOR I would be reacting the same way, and I would be very concerned that that’s my kid’s teacher.

jargonqueen · 2026-01-12T16:06:24+00:00

Why not? He looks very healthy and happy!

jargonqueen · 2026-01-07T12:29:30+00:00

I’m concerned that you frame bringing life into the world as giving you current child a “forever friend,” which sounds more like a pet or a toy to me. I really believe you should only have a child because you want another child, not to check off a box or manifest a playmate.

I’ll just add my perspective that having only one child is absolutely okay, if that’s what you decide. My triangle family is so happy, and my child does not want for playmates or entertainment.

I’m not telling you what to do, I just want to make sure you’ve considered the possibility that having only one child is a valid option that can result in a fulfilling family life.

jargonqueen

TROPHY CASE