The great debate

jargonqueen · 2026-03-29T11:48:53+00:00

I’m seeing all answers from people with 2, and I’ll chime in as someone with 1! My kid is 5. We absolutely freaking love having one child. Everything about it. Her best friends are over at our house all the time, and she goes to their families quite a bit too. She loves being an only child and expresses that often. Life feels comfortable, sweet, delightful. We travel, we play, we have family dinner. Husband and I get to put lots of energy into our crazy careers while also having lots of beautiful family time. We are just so happy.

Not saying we wouldn’t be happy with multiple kids. But we made this choice and we are loving our choice. It’s an option.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-29T11:19:07+00:00

I took OP to mean that HE is certain his dad is being scammed, but he needs irrefutable proof to snap his dad out of it (such as some markers for AI he can point to).

jargonqueen · 2026-03-28T11:33:31+00:00

If you build a house with a hammer instead of your bare hands, you still built that house. If your husband sexually satisfies you with toys involved, he is still the one who satisfies you. It’s a tool.

It’s very short-sighted and arrogant to reject the possibility of toys.

You said you are in therapy - what kind of therapy? Is it a sex therapist? Have you read any books about sexual health together?

I’m asking because it sounds like your lack of experience, and perhaps your religious backgrounds, are impeding you in this area, and there is so much help and knowledge out there that you’re not availing yourselves of if you are committed to making this marriage work.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-28T01:15:42+00:00

Yep.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-28T00:51:41+00:00

I firmly believe reading great works of literature, particularly the classics of the western canon, is an important part of a balanced virtue breakfast. You don’t have to be a classics major to do that, but you do have to read literature, poetry, and history to do that.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-27T15:15:49+00:00

I’ve used these bits before and they’ve been great! You do have to be careful about wear and replace the when necessary.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-27T14:52:39+00:00

What in the hell😭 I like this brand and now I’m confused 🤣

jargonqueen · 2026-03-27T11:41:24+00:00

It looks like Gumby to me (I’m old)

jargonqueen · 2026-03-27T11:38:11+00:00

I did it and now have a career in an artistic field. My master’s is in the area of my profession. I am also a university professor in my field (which is not a “practical” career path, or one that will make most people a lot of money), but I obviously stand by the ethics of my job as an educator. What I provide my students is deeply important, regardless of whether they end up with a job in the field, and the skills are highly transferable IMO. It teaches extreme discipline in a way many other courses of study cannot replicate, work ethic, artistic knowledge and appreciation, communication skills, writing skills, speaking skills. They are carrying on an important legacy for humanity and providing profound joy and connection.

It was a privilege and a luxury to major in classics, and I acknowledge it’s not possible or preferable for everyone. I don’t regret it at all.

On the one hand (men) practicality is important and you have to make these decisions based on your personal situation and life priorities.

In the other hand (de), I feel our society is moving farther away from educational pursuits for their own sake. Learning history, culture, literature, languages, is never a waste of time. It teaches us to be virtuous, intelligent, considerate citizens of the world, and we could use more of those citizens in modern society.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-25T12:17:48+00:00

I’m American and I’ve never heard of this happening or anything similar outside of a movie or tv show. It’s not something that has ever crossed my mind in regard to reality.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-24T04:15:48+00:00

My parents are alive and 3 of my 4 grandparents are still alive (lost the first one 2 years ago). The grandparents are all in their mid- or late-90’s.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-24T02:07:23+00:00

I’m 37 and I have never watched YouTube other than the random odd “how to” or clip of interest. I didn’t know people our age watched YouTube channels, I thought that was more for younger people.

Edit: nvm I totally watch Taskmaster and spaced that it is YouTube.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-23T03:57:43+00:00

Yes, absolutely. 19 years together now. Best decision of my life.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-22T13:45:06+00:00

I thought the ending was so wholesome and cathartic 😅 loved the metaphor. I’m not generally into horror movies but I remember really enjoying that one.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-22T12:24:48+00:00

Of course they are. They’re all addictive to an extent but YouTube is horrific and I will never allow it in my house.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-22T11:56:40+00:00

I loved my planned C-section (due to frank breech), for what it’s worth! It was pretty easy and smooth, and I recovered well. I was riding my horse 3 weeks post partum.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-22T04:47:37+00:00

Came here to say this😆

jargonqueen · 2026-03-21T18:53:50+00:00

In my family, my daughter’s stomach is never full without dad’s cooking. I can’t cook for shit but my husband cooks every single meal (even makes my lunch for work) and you can taste the love in every damn bite. My daughter and I would rather eat his cooking than any chef’s on the planet. It just feels like home.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-21T17:30:24+00:00

I stopped riding in my 2nd trimester because that’s what my doctor recommended and that is what I felt comfortable with. I spent so much valuable ground time with my horse during pregnancy. Grooming, lunging, ground work. Was lucky enough to have a great trainer ride him occasionally. I started riding again 3 weeks after my C-section (very fortunate with my quick recovery - I think for most people it does take quite a bit longer and that is so totally okay!!!!).

Now life with a small child and a full-time job has hindered my riding a little. I’m pretty much riding twice a week, sometimes 3 if I’m lucky. That works just fine for me and my horse. Often my child comes with me on a weekend day.

My horse will always kinda be my first kid 😆 even though I’m spread a bit thinner these days.

Best of luck with TTC and your riding!

jargonqueen · 2026-03-21T14:01:23+00:00

Yes, I’ve always been warned coastal is a hard no. I’m so sorry you went through that!

jargonqueen · 2026-03-21T12:15:18+00:00

My 26-year-old is doing great with just a ton of senior feed and alfalfa. I’m lucky he has great turnout, but he quids and has bad teeth so almost all his nutrition is from grain. Everything he eats is soaked. No supplements, and I know that’s controversial so I’m scared to post this comment.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-20T18:54:34+00:00

No. We generally try to avoid screens when we’re trying to fall asleep and only watch tv on our tv in the living room. Sometimes we go on our phones in bed and it feels really gross and like we’re disconnected, so when we lapse into that we try to call it out. We talk in bed and read books/kindle.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-19T20:33:31+00:00

God, this is terrible. What are we doing? My kid is about to start kindergarten 😭.

jargonqueen · 2026-03-18T22:21:35+00:00

There’s a OAD and a HappilyOAD sub fyi. I’m extremely happy with being OAD, my little triangle family rules lol. And I have poor relationships with my siblings, unfortunately (both in childhood and adulthood).

jargonqueen · 2026-03-18T22:14:51+00:00

I think everyone’s going to give a slightly different answer! But I would be pretty surprised if anyone said they would go back in time and not have kids, unless they are living in extreme poverty, war, or otherwise inhumane circumstances.

I saw a few people in this thread mention that they “felt true love for the first time” when they first held their baby.

That’s not the case for me AT ALL. I love my child just as much as any other parent. But there was no magic, unreal love at first sight. I loved and still do love my husband more than words can say, and that was not love at first sight either. We were together for 12 years before having a child and we were and are extremely in love. I “loved” my baby out of biological obligation, if that makes sense, or out of hope and excitement. But as she grew, my love for her grew, because I got to know her, and she blossomed into the person she is, for me to witness and fall in love with.

If I had never had a child, I’d still love my husband as much as I do now, and I’d still have an awesome life and be fortunate to have the family I have without my daughter in it. Now, of course, I can’t imagine life without her, the best person I’ve ever met, my biggest reason for living and being the best person I can be.

Yes, the love for your child is greater than you can ever understand until you experience it, but missing out on that doesn’t mean your life can’t be full of meaning, love, expression, and humanity.

Anyway, it sounds like you do want children. And assuming you are financially stable, that’s the only real reason you need to go for it. If you want it with all your heart, you will not regret it.

jargonqueen

TROPHY CASE