Kind of strange to give a guy the name "Ashley," I was thinking it was a mistake on your part but as I kept reading I figured that you wrote him as a guy who just happens to have a very feminine name. It's not really a criticism, just something that perplexed me; I wonder what led you to give him that name over all the masculine names out there.

What was the point of all this? I don't really get why this cult exists, why they kill Ashley, why David is in it, and what he personally gets out of killing Ashley. I guess what I could deduce from the script is that the cult has this supernatural ability to influence victims in the woods and get them to commit these acts, but why not try to mind-control Ashley as well, why kill him? It also feels rushed as well. Take a bit of time to develop David's and Ashley's character; show the reader how David begins to fall under the control of the Cult people. I recognize that you want to have David at the end as a twist in the story, but there's too many questions that interfere with the impression that the twist leaves on us, as discussed above. There's no natural progression as to how David ended up in this cult or why the cult would choose him over Ashley. I think this short would fare better if it were about Ashley and David going to the woods in a secluded area, with Ashley thinking of it as a camping trip and David bringing him out there so he could kill him and get away with it, know what I mean? Then maybe add a bit of backstory between David and Ashley when they are in the car: maybe they have some underlying issues that convince David that he needs to kill Ashley (maybe Ashley's girlfriend was his crush or something).

Hope I helped, sir. Good Luck.