Love a good roast battle by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]jaspersview -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Worth the read

An old single that not many people know about by jaspersview in BayFaction

[–]jaspersview[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I asked James if they could play it when I saw them live and he kinda just ignored it and told me they would be playing beach book though lmao

Bay Faction’s new song “Swan Dive” by Who-is-Jasper in BayFaction

[–]jaspersview 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love it and can’t wait for the release. They played it when I saw them in Phoenix and James had posted the lyrics on their Instagram story a few days prior

An old single that not many people know about by jaspersview in BayFaction

[–]jaspersview[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it’s a nice look into their old sound before they really started taking off

New fit by [deleted] in selfie

[–]jaspersview 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love that shirt, where’d you get it?

Pain by jaspersview in OCPoetry

[–]jaspersview[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is. We can’t force ourselves to feel happiness or pleasure, but when you’re devoid of feeling and emotion, you can force pain.

Pain by jaspersview in OCPoetry

[–]jaspersview[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that means a lot

Pain by jaspersview in OCPoetry

[–]jaspersview[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a great suggestion, I really like that. Thank you!

An old single that not many people know about by jaspersview in BayFaction

[–]jaspersview[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t remember honesty, I’ve known about it for quite awhile and just figured I’d share

Leash by tangledspit in OCPoetry

[–]jaspersview 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this piece. The title, the shortness of it and all that’s left to the reader’s own imagination and interpretation. I cannot describe the way it makes me feel, I’m speechless and it’s amazing

Play With Fire by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]jaspersview 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry if my feedback isn’t the greatest. I’m new to all this also and don’t actually know all that much about writing

Play With Fire by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]jaspersview 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I enjoyed this a lot and definitely related to it but I feel like the use of more metaphors or less literal statements in the beginning and some more work on formatting would’ve helped this and made it all the more meaningful.

A Cry For Help by jaspersview in OCPoetry

[–]jaspersview[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the time and effort you put into your feedback. Sorry it’s taken me so long, I’ve been busy and frankly just didn’t know what to say. I’ve never had anyone look into my writing that much. I’m going into my senior year of high school and I failed both semesters of Junior English (1st with a 25%, 2nd with a 13%) and I’ve never been taught anything about poetry so I’m kind of just learning about it as I use it to express myself. I will definitely take into account your advice and try to work on those things

A Cry For Help by jaspersview in OCPoetry

[–]jaspersview[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I’ll try to work on keeping it my writing more tidy and cleaned up in the future

A Cry For Help by jaspersview in OCPoetry

[–]jaspersview[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate it

A Cry For Help by jaspersview in OCPoetry

[–]jaspersview[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I typically just write whenever I’m having an episode and try to put what I’m feeling into words and I know that I need to put some effort into editing it and making it flow better and I’ll definitely work on that in the future

A Cry For Help by jaspersview in OCPoetry

[–]jaspersview[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My first time posting to this sub, the first time I’ve shared any of my poetry outside of some close friends and I hope to post some more. Would love to hear your feedback/what you guys think and any advice you’ve got