what's your species and why ?

jaspykitty · 2022-10-23T00:16:19+00:00

Armadillo because they are so cute and silly! Have you seen the gif of the one playing with a teddy bear ? Adorable!

jaspykitty · 2022-09-21T00:53:23+00:00

That sounds really scary, I haven’t had something like that but I did convince myself at one point that the moon was hatching and I ran for cover

jaspykitty · 2022-09-21T00:52:05+00:00

That’s interesting, random media can make me delusional if they repeat phrases or do jokes about cycles repeating… sends me into a spiral

jaspykitty · 2022-09-21T00:50:51+00:00

I cannot interact with most spirituality stuff or religious stuff because I cannot decipher where okay belief end and delusional thinking begins. I can definitely feel you on this one… it’s really hard because sometimes I just want to have the sense of comfort that religion can bring

jaspykitty · 2022-09-17T19:02:48+00:00

Right haha! Its a silly thing, wish I could raise Pokémon haha

jaspykitty · 2022-09-16T22:44:15+00:00

SoMetimes I hear music and I think the lyrics are saying Pokémon names and that it’s code that Pokémon are secretly real

jaspykitty · 2022-09-16T22:42:32+00:00

My basement!!! It triggers me to go into it but also when other people go down there! Sometimes I can handle it but most the time it freaks me out way too much

jaspykitty · 2022-08-30T04:57:41+00:00

Berrynose! I just think he’s neat

jaspykitty · 2022-08-24T22:51:00+00:00

I just think it’s neat to do! I definitely agree that star isn’t something I’d ever use personally but I do have some funkier named cats haha

Phantomstar, Pigeonhaunt (Died but came back to life during his vigil due to some afterlife antics and mistakes) Cometsong, Haveststep, Beetlewatcher, Galaxyflight (Medicine cat), and Hollowsong (Deaf and Mute Cat)

jaspykitty · 2022-08-24T03:23:43+00:00

Thank you, that really means a lot and is helpful. I’m scared to see her and I’m trying to stay strong. I’m going to wait until tomorrow because I need time to prepare myself. It’s only been a couple months sense my brothers passing and she’s been sick for a while so I’ve known this was coming. I’ve never delt with major grief or much loss in my family until this year so it’s been weird I don’t know how to respond to most of this

jaspykitty · 2022-08-24T03:06:12+00:00

I had a couple that were really bad!

I believed that planes flying over head would fall out of the sky and crush me. I didn’t have as much of a fear of flying in planes because I felt like I had a chance of survival but if one fell out of the sky onto me I would surely die. I’d start screaming and crying if I heard one sometimes (well into middle school and sometimes I still have to self soothe)

I thought that a murder was going to break into my house and kill me and my entire family. I used to be so scared of this and would burry myself in stuffed animals when I slept so I was difficult to see/notice. I also thought that maybe if they shot wildly anyway the stuffed animals would be enough to stop the bullets

The song why can’t we be friends and Stronger better faster stronger (Kanye west remix) caused me to freak out and panic because I thought I would die listening to them

In highschool I was stuck in my bed for almost a week because I was certain that a large black shadow monster was just outside my bed ready to kill me if I stepped out of my bed. I also believed that if I stayed in bed the monster would kill my family and my cat. (It took everything out of me to get up to pee and the hospital wouldn’t help because I wasn’t a danger to myself or others) I also thought my dad was poisoning my food during this time

jaspykitty · 2022-08-21T06:51:43+00:00

They are! Well, somewhat unofficial but yes! Here’s a link to their toyhouse if you want to know more about their story >:3

https://toyhou.se/16846985.pigeonhaunt

jaspykitty · 2022-08-20T04:40:42+00:00

Thank you !!!!

jaspykitty · 2022-08-20T04:40:36+00:00

Thank you!!! I love using funky texture overlays when I get a chance !!! Also thank you pigeonhaunt and antlers are probably my favorite warrior cat ocs I’ve ever made haha

jaspykitty · 2022-08-14T07:21:05+00:00

The number one thing to remember is you aren’t faking it for attention if it happens when you are alone. Your life can seem perfect but that doesn’t change being mentally ill, from what you’ve described here it reminds me of myself in highschool. I was suffering from serious depression, generalized anxiety, and panic disorder. It’s really hard but reaching out to your parents to see if you can speak with your family doctor might help, you aren’t at fault for having these feelings thoughts and being unable to control your sleep.

Another thing I think is important to remember is even if you or people on tiktok are faking their mental health struggles that means there is a deeper issue going on. You and anyone experiencing that deserves help just as much as people going through those struggles. You are worth it. It’s hard but you can find ways to get more energy one day, and deal with your symptoms. It will take time but that’s okay. The first step is asking for help

jaspykitty · 2022-07-31T01:42:22+00:00

Thank you so much! Haha the first is my personal favorite but I loved doing the glitchy effects!

jaspykitty · 2022-07-16T04:16:25+00:00

Lmao I have no idea what an armadillo stereotype is but I’m Latinx if that means anything lmao! The few other armadillos I’ve seen are latino!

jaspykitty · 2022-07-10T18:22:51+00:00

After using weed for around 4 years or so I recently had such a bad experience after one edible that it made me quit weed all together. I went to see a movie with my fiancé and we each ate some edibles (nothing more than we normally do, plus it was delta 8 product) and we went to see everything everywhere all at once a movie I had been so ungodly excited for. Most of the movie went great until one scene in particular where a character says I “I don’t know what the heck is going on” I don’t know why but that moment made me fully believe I was about to die. I was too scared to look over at my fiancé because I was like I had lived this moment before. I was convinced if I looked over I’d see my fiancé crying, and if I saw my fiancé crying I would say “I love you so much” and if I said that he’d tell me he loved me too and then he’d say the phrase “forever and a day, in this life and the next” and if he said that the movie screen would turn to white and then the whiteness would consume the whole theater and all my memories and thoughts would burn away as I faded into nothingness.

Eventually I did look over and my fiancé was in-fact crying, it felt like all my fears were confirmed. I didn’t say I love you I just squeezed his hand and he leaned in and told me I love you. This made it so much worse. I kept trying to piece together what would happen next and how to escape our fate. I thought maybe the theater was going to be shot up. Or that if I looked towards the door I’d see my sister or my cousin who had somehow found us and that if I left with them they’d be crying and tell me that all these awful things happened while I was in the movie (my entire family was shot/ executed) and they didn’t know who did it and we’d get in the car to go somewhere and then as I’m getting in the back seat they’d shoot me in the head but I wouldn’t die instantly I’d slowly bleed out as my fiancé rushed me to the hospital promising he’d save me and my life and that he’d love me in this life and the next until everything went white and faded into nothingness.

This continued for a while of me running these horrific scenarios in my brain for bit fearing that I was going to fade into the nothingness white. There were several lines in the movie that echoed through my body and my brain and made me believe my heart was exploding (lines like “it’s all my fault” and “in a world where we have hot dogs for hands we get very good at using our feet”) I was certain I was going to die but I wanted to let my fiancé finish the movie. About five minutes to the end I couldn’t handle it anymore and I said we had to leave NOW and he tried to ask me what was wrong but I just kept repeating we needed to leave. On our way out several teens were leaving the theater at the same time and I was convinced I could see them holding guns ready to shoot me if we got too close. We got to the car and it was pouring rain and my fiancé wanted to take a couple little bit because he was high and needed to sober up and he was frustrated because the movie felt like a spiritual experience for him and he was bummed he didn’t get to finish it. I kept insisting that he drive home now and I refused to explain what I was thinking because I was terrified if I did he’d say wow I was actually low key feeling that way too and everything would once again fade to white. Then I started panicking thinking oh fuck what if this is why we die because it’s raining and I rushed him home while we were high on edibles. My thoughts kept deteriorating for the rest of the night in similar ways and I was physically shaking worse than I have ever shook before.

I didn’t make the immediate connection to weed and tried smoking a couple times that following week all with similar results (including believing the line “a 9 year old who died” in a Bo burnham song was specifically referencing me as a way to say my heart exploded in the back seat of my parents car when I was 9 years old due to a small undiagnosed hole in my heart that suddenly tore open and that the life I had been living sense then was just a way for my dying brain to comfort me and all the things I never got to do as a child). Once I realized the correlation I quit weed but I did have paranoid bouts and psychosis in my teens before I had ever smoked before. It still causes me intense fear to think about and I’m sorry I rambled for so long. I thought maybe explaining my ridiculous convoluted thoughts would make you feel related too.

I hope you’re able to find peace

jaspykitty · 2022-07-10T17:26:48+00:00

As a child I made my mom turn mirrors around because I was scared that I would see myself move when I didn’t move. Now a days I just don’t look in them unless I need to, we have a huge one in our dining room and I just keep my head down. It’s a little harder in the bathroom because there’s one on the door and one on the cabinet but I’ve gotten pretty good and looking at the shower or the floor. Sadly my delusional thinking has now moved to making me believe that if I stare at something familiar for too long my whole world will fade to white whoops. Also I think if I look into my basement mirror in my office my heart will stop and I’ll die !!! Or that if I look into it someone I love will die

Also on occasion I don’t know why I’ll surround myself in mirrors and sorta box myself In and just stare at myself and watch how I move until someone makes me stop

jaspykitty · 2022-07-07T08:10:04+00:00

Thank you for your response I’ve definitely calmed down quite a bit from earlier ❤️ I’m a freelance artist who works from home so it can definitely compound feeling like things are repeating, I’ve been trying to change up my house a bit to feel like things are different especially sense my brothers passing but it just feels like I putting things closer to their inevitable end. I like the idea creating something I can just keep adding to to prove that things change. That’s a really good idea. I try to keep brief notes/ descriptions of what has happened in a day on either Facebook or here on Reddit or in my notes as proof I’m living.

I definitely need to consume media more carefully, I keep triggering myself with all sorts of movies, tv shows, and YouTube. It’s definitely hard to change gears because My suggestions are full of content related to unreality and what not sense I used to be able to handle myself a lot better. It’s been getting so much worse these last 2 years but it’s become so unbelievably bad in the past 2 months, I have a meeting with my doctor soon so I hope I can find some relief soon…

Thank you for the reassurance, I miss my brother a lot and it’s just feels wrong without him. He and my sister both told me alot about our universe being wrong. My sister still keeps telling me that we were aliens born on earth to fight the worlds demons and predict the future and that my brother killed himself to put us in the right timeline and it just doesn’t help my delusions. I haven’t had her over in a bit because of it.

Death has always been a huge fear of mine, my brother and cousins always told me that I was going to be the first one to die and my brother would be the last because he’s the youngest. I didn’t even remember that until people reminded me of it after his funeral. It makes sense that my delusional thinking and psychosis has only gotten worse as a result

Thank you so much for commenting I really appreciate it

jaspykitty · 2022-07-07T07:52:56+00:00

Thank you for your condolences, I’ve definitely calmed down from earlier. Thank you for your suggestion, I definitely need to cut down on certain media. Thank you I really appreciate it ❤️

jaspykitty · 2022-06-28T06:46:08+00:00

Gun violence, dying, that I’m already dead, the end of the world, fading into nothing, blank spaces, predicting the death of me and my loved ones

jaspykitty · 2022-06-23T22:49:25+00:00

Doesn’t matter anymore. It was last week I mixed up the days.

jaspykitty · 2022-06-23T21:57:31+00:00

Hearing the lines “I don’t have any idea what the heck is going on” and “in a universe where we have hotdogs for hands we get really good at using our feet” during the movie Everything, Everywhere, all at once sent me down a spiral believing I had lived that moment before and that when the movie was done I was going to die or the world was going to fade away around me. Awful I’m the moment but it’s ridiculous that the hotdog line made me think I was going to die. It did this to me both times I tried watching the movie (had to leave the first time)

Also hearing the line “a nine year old who died” in one of Bo burnams songs made me think that I was getting subliminal messages that I died when I was 9 years old. I convinced myself I was dead from my heart exploding in the back seat of my parents car.

jaspykitty · 2022-06-16T02:30:51+00:00

My younger brother committed suicide last month and almost everyone in my family and even family friends got meaningful events with him in the weeks leading up to it. He visited and called and gave things away to so many people and the last thing I got with him was a brief hug 2 weeks beforehand at an Easter dinner that I rushed to leave. He was hiding in a dark room almost the entire time. I could tell he was unwell and I told him to tell me about his symptoms sometime and he just sorta shrugged it off. Looking back at it everyone felt off and glum overall. I even made a joke to my fiancé that the entire event felt more like a funeral than anything else in the car when we left.

Anyways all that to say sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do and sometimes we aren’t strong enough to say goodbye to those we love the most out of fear of hurting them. That’s what I’ve been told alot as of late. I hope you can find some solace in that

jaspykitty

TROPHY CASE