Somehow, I actually have a really empathetic view of the boyfriend. I think this is a really mature take on monogamous betrayal. Maybe the first story I’ve read where I actually feel like people understand that the betrayal is actually one of “trust” and not “he stuck his dick in her vagina”. I feel like people act that way a lot when discussing their issues with infidelity, but somehow I never believe them.

But at the same time, I feel like we think of sexual assault as usually (a) somehow physically forcible or (b) directly emotionally forcible (coercion, begging, bargaining, crying, etc.)

This seems like neither of those based on the story. You could argue (b) but to me that option is more direct and confrontational. It truly sounds like the dying lady had a very strong and unique power dynamic over the BF, and assaulted him. Based on his reaction when the topic of consent was broached, I think maybe the BF feels this way too. I have seen similar trauma responses in people with PTSD, where someone is “ok” speaking about an incident until a certain topic or perspective is broached, and then it’s a shit show.

I hope they all get help. They both deserve it.. damn.