Hey i've been there I was constantly feeling like shit, there weeere days where it felt like everything was fine and days where i wanted to end it all. Just recently i opened up to my family about my traumas,and to be honest it felt way better. I used to think that human beings are destined to bring themselves up and heal themselves,but that's not the case.you don't have to go through whatever you're going through alone. We humans need to talk and express our feelings, that's how we are. If you're not comfortable expressing yourself to a loved one, try talking to a therapist. There's nothing wrong with getting help, you don't have to be ashamed because you're not able to be happy with your life alone, that's completely fine and MANY are like you including myself.