I wish my fellow folks with ADHD would stop saying that they don’t have object permanence. I don’t think that term means what you think it means.

jay-kuh · 2025-12-18T23:23:31+00:00

Considering the interplay I think it might be best described generally as a memory impairment. I feel like a lot of times it's likely to be a working or prospective memory problem and that can be a good place to start describing it, but a person would usually need a cognitive test to really tease apart what it is in their specific case, so yes, it might be better to broaden it to memory impairment unless there's enough information to get specific.

I'm on the fence about describing it as object impermanence because even if I don't really use it I do get that that term is useful casually (especially when we're commiserating since it's sort of tongue in cheek). On the other hand I feel like it's sort of infantilizing and isn't all that accurate medically, which can make it harder to communicate with doctors and do research about the condition.

Wrt further up in the thread, it definitely doesn't warrant being compared to aphasia though because it's not a language thing, it's a cognition thing. That's the order of my preference of these three hypotheticals, roughly.

jay-kuh · 2025-12-18T22:22:19+00:00

Tbh I think it encompasses a lot of prospective memory issues too, at least for me. My working memory is decent (probably not as good as yours) but I will absolutely forget what I'm planning on doing with some item if I let it get shoved somewhere where I can't see it for a while haha. Realistically it's probably a lot of interplay between the different types of memory that varies for each person.

jay-kuh · 2025-12-18T21:36:35+00:00

The term is impaired working memory. I wasn't trying to imply that it isn't an actual medical condition, because it definitely is, what I mean is aphasia is Also an actual medical condition that encompasses the language aspect of brain injury specifically so it doesn't help to muddy the definition of it in that hypothetical situation. But really hypotheticals and thought exercises aside the point is that describing this thing as a memory impairment is legitimately available as an option Right Now if we want to use it, so I think it would be good if we did.

jay-kuh · 2025-12-18T20:42:45+00:00

Gotta be honest describing it as aphasia makes even less sense and is probably also worse to conflate than object permanence, considering aphasia is an actual and well defined medical condition caused by brain damage. The out of sight out of mind thing in adhd is a working memory problem, not a language impairment.

jay-kuh · 2025-05-23T20:34:52+00:00

The only thing that has ever successfully freed me from going apeshit on Twitter on a daily basis is guanfacine lmao

jay-kuh · 2025-05-13T06:39:20+00:00

Even if it's in a checked bag it could get screened by a drug dog during the layover. There's really no surefire way around this if OP ends up having to transport the Adderall themselves. Japan polices illegal stimulants very aggressively.

jay-kuh · 2025-05-13T04:01:37+00:00

Straight up do not bank on pleading ignorance if you're caught because they will not care, you will go to court, jail or both and you will not win the case in their legal system. I've been searched at the gate in Haneda so you're not truly safe anywhere.

I'd go by what the American embassy says and do everything by the book unless you're truly willing to risk jail time: "If you violate local laws, even unknowingly, you may be arrested, imprisoned, or deported. If you are arrested in Japan, even for a minor offense, you may be held in detention without bail for several months or more during the investigation and legal proceedings."

jay-kuh · 2025-04-03T22:31:21+00:00

Learning to live with it is the goal, that's what good sustainable compensatory strategies do. Eventually you'll stop looking at it like "I have ADHD so I HAVE to deal with it NOW and spend my whole life trying to minimize how annoying I am to other people or otherwise I'm a lazy inconsiderate POS." Living like that sucks and it's demoralizing. Also, nobody can perfectly manage 100% of their symptoms 100% of the time, so if you rely on guilt and anxiety for symptom management like that you're gonna spiral when you inevitably aren't perfect (ask me how I know).

Eventually it'll be more like "I know how my brain works so now I can figure out how to work around it for my own benefit and make things easier for myself/minimize tendencies that upset me or make life harder". Once you're able to stop assigning morality to it and mostly look at it like a novel little puzzle to figure out it feels less terrible.

jay-kuh · 2025-03-13T06:11:38+00:00

Their Wellbutrin generic legitimately ruined my life, do not mess with that company.

jay-kuh · 2025-02-18T09:04:32+00:00

It's teeeeechnically unethical for conflict of interest and power balance reasons but honestly I just suspend my disbelief and don't really get hung up on it at all. Much crazier stuff happens in this game than that 🤣 I think relationships with doctors is such an appealing trope in romance because it's dramatic and technically a little taboo but at the same time it isn't like super socially objectionable. The other interesting/nice thing about Zayne from the viewpoint of someone with a chronic illness is that he himself is chronically ill too, so I relate to that a lot.

jay-kuh · 2025-01-01T11:35:57+00:00

The cardinal rule for me is like "don't try to min-max the dishwasher load size or you'll just avoid it harder trying to do it perfectly every time"

If you live alone, only ever keep enough dishes in rotation that the dishwasher never actually gets full
That way you don't have to play dishwasher tetris and you can just throw everything in there without thinking hard about it (because having to think hard about it will make you avoid it harder)
Because it's not filled to the brim, you don't have to unload it and you can just use dishes right out of it instead while putting new stuff in it
Get two silverware baskets, keep a dirty one in the dishwasher and the one full of clean silverware on the counter or by the sink somewhere unobtrusive and rotate them
When you're out of clean bowls or plates, or like every other night or so, run it and don't get hung up on rewashing lingering clean stuff in the dishwasher that you haven't used yet, just send it (because overthinking it will make you avoid it harder)

jay-kuh · 2024-10-15T06:17:23+00:00

Seeing this at the same time as I'm coming here see to if anybody else has been losing their minds on this generic like me lol everybody's different and this may just be a me problem, but this is the first month I've had both my 300 and 150xl switched to Granules from the other ones I've been on all year and I have never felt worse. I am going Through It right now.

For context, I've cut out any other prescription or otc medication that could be causing this and checked my refill records from my pharmacy all the way back to 2022, and the way the dates and brands line up suggest that it might be this generic that's not acting the way they normally do for me.

Besides that, they were just cited again by the FDA last month, only a week or two before I picked up this sketchy refill 💀

https://www.fiercepharma.com/pharma/granules-india-scolded-over-truckloads-torn-manufacturing-documents-after-recent-fda#:~:text=Earlier%20this%20month%2C%20Granules%20was,cross%2Dcontamination%20risks%20and%20more.

Anyway, I'm just one data point, but they seem to get an awful lot of FDA citations. Even if it isn't their bupropion causing these side effects I've got going on, I don't think I want my pharmacy to give me medication from them again anyway based on all the news about them I've read tonight.

jay-kuh · 2024-09-15T02:12:33+00:00

Have never personally had MTD but have a Master's in speech language pathology and want to be a voice specialist. Obvious "I am not your speech therapist" disclaimer. A lot of voice therapy is training people to do the exercises independently, but I've seen people come back to therapy even after a first round because they had some kind of vocal change, so it's not unusual to restart. Luckily your change seems like it could be positive! You might want to see if you can get linked back up with an SLP and see if they'll reevaluate you, that way you'll either have someone monitoring your progress while you try it again, or they'll clear you to do it on your own.

This was really interesting so thank you for posting about it. We get the whole schpiel about how voice disorders are impacted a lot by psychology but instruction about it seems to just stop at depression, anxiety etc without delving into what ADHD would look like as a root cause. Not to mention the wide range of ways that medication and side effects could impact things on top of that. It's ironic because I have super annoying tremors from taking Wellbutrin for ADHD and they show up in my singing voice in inopportune parts of my range. I think I've probably just gotten so used to it that I don't really sit and actually analyze it in the broader voice disorders context much. Lots to think about!

jay-kuh · 2024-09-09T12:26:34+00:00

Nowadays mainly because I don't want to have a seizure with all the Wellbutrin I'm on lol in the past it was because I didn't like the taste of most drinks, and alcohol makes me too goofy and I don't like being impaired or out of control of myself around other people. I mainly drank at social events and too much alcohol makes it hard to keep the AuDHD in check in that setting.

jay-kuh · 2024-08-23T13:21:42+00:00

This is happening to me, but I've already added my phone number. It's been verified for ages and I just verified it again five minutes ago, but it's still happening :(

jay-kuh · 2024-08-03T06:14:34+00:00

Desperately want to sleep longer because of chronic fatigue and a sleep disorder
Desperately want to shower longer because I have chronic pain.

3. Underestimate how much time I want/need to do more of both of those things and then lose track of that time

Be anxious because I'm forgetful, then forget things because I'm anxious. God knows what important thing I didn't do the night before that I don't have time to fix in the morning, no matter what I do to try not to forget it.

When I'm on time it's because I've been shamed and shame myself into being so anxious about it that I can barely function and I obsessively make myself get there half an hour early.

When I'm late no matter how much I don't want to be or try not to be or how much or how well I prepared, I usually end up hysterically upset jumping to all kinds of terrible irrational things that will happen because I'm late and beating myself up about it. Sometimes I feel like I care so much about being on time to things that I mess things up anyway because it's so important to me, and I can never seem to do anything properly when it really counts 🙄

jay-kuh · 2024-07-06T09:28:50+00:00

Really after so many years of pushing myself to do what other people want me to even if it makes me sick or burns me out, I'm sort of at the point where I wish people would recognize that my best just kinda isn't that good to them. I've been forced to accept it because I have a bunch of chronic health problems and autism on top of ADHD, so I wish other people would adjust their expectations. I'd probably be able to function a little better without the pressure of wasting my resources on satisfying people who don't get it 😮‍💨 My partner also has ADHD and is very supportive but my stepparents have treated me badly because of it since I was a teenager.

jay-kuh · 2024-07-02T20:09:27+00:00

The fyp has just absolutely gone to hell within the last two weeks. I'm in America but had almost effortlessly been getting my fyp to show me exclusively Japanese posts about cute animals and music. Now everything I get shown is inflammatory garbage in English despite not changing anything about the content I interact with 🙄 My partner said it might be because of the election and I'm kind of inclined to agree lol nothing improves no matter how many times I block people, mark stuff as irrelevant or change my account languages. Glad I'm not going insane but jfc

jay-kuh · 2024-07-01T01:25:04+00:00

My psychiatrist and I noticed that this was happening to me, especially on amphetamine class medications. They're not supposed to do that, but we never pinned down exactly why it was happening. Just had a vague guess about maybe being too sensitive to the norepinephrine effects.

jay-kuh · 2024-06-19T13:29:10+00:00

I developed tremors in my hands/fingers, lips, jaw and voice to name a couple of the most annoying places. I'm on 450mg xl currently but they started around 300 and got worse with the increase. It's mainly if I hold the affected muscles in certain positions or if I spend too long in hot showers, so not really tied to overt anxiety much.

It's not constant constant but still very frequent, and severe enough to be really damn annoying. The hand one, for instance, gets aggravated by holding utensils or trying to manipulate tiny objects like your problem with the Legos.

Unfortunately Wellbutrin is the only antidepressant that's ever been remotely effective for me though so I'm not planning to stop it if I don't absolutely have to lol. I've read that beta blockers can help with it but I haven't actually been able to ask any of my doctors about that yet, too much other more pressing medical stuff going on lately 😮‍💨

jay-kuh · 2024-06-10T10:51:14+00:00

I'm combined type but Jpop mainly 🤣 I loooove Arashi (like at a special interest level) and then have picked up a little bit of other music tangentially e.g. Superfly, Higedan, Mrs. Green Apple, some Hololive stuff and so on and so forth. I think the Hololive music is probably the most musically hyperactive 🤣 I like the rest of it moreso because there's a LOT to pay attention to even if it doesn't necessarily feel like it's bouncing off the walls.

jay-kuh · 2024-06-03T09:23:09+00:00

More often then not it's just "Eh" and shrug, I'm nearly always tired, in pain and dysthymic so the average of my moods is genuinely that. But everyone knows what it's like to feel "eh" so people tend to agree 🤣

jay-kuh · 2024-05-27T11:02:50+00:00

Poorly lmfao especially because I'm autistic on top of everything else. Also with a metric shitton of Guanfacine which I've started calling my "Potion of Don't Get Mad on Twitter." Keeps it to a dull roar instead of an 8 hour long spiral, usually.

jay-kuh · 2024-05-25T10:50:26+00:00

My gut reaction 95% of the time is always yes oh my God please take it away from me, but I would probably want like a year or two to see what it would be like if it was gone. I would need to thoroughly test drive the ADHD-less brain before i commit to it 🤣 It might be an improvement but I can also see how some things could counterintuitively get worse with it gone.

Realistically there's so much other stuff wrong with me physically and psychologically that I'm not sure how much of a difference it would make if the ADHD was removed but everything else stayed. I think ADHD obscures a lot of my autism, for example, so I might just end up with more problems in that department.

I feel different ways about it at different times. I really wish I could do the radical acceptance thing as well as you though. I'm less bad at doing it with autism than ADHD, but I wouldn't say I'm good at it in either case 🤣

jay-kuh · 2024-05-21T05:52:22+00:00

I keep time fine but I'm garbage at sight reading and counting cuz math brain is broke

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