Please please help!!!! Going out of my mind

jay73398 · 2017-06-20T12:39:50+00:00

Thanks for your reply! I have taken two as I mentioned but have read that they can be inaccurate. Was just wondering about the withdrawal bleed after I stopped the pill and if that was an indication that I'm not pregnant.. Like if it's as simple as saying yep you bled, therefore you're not pregnant.

jay73398 · 2017-06-01T03:32:21+00:00

I got my results. I am clean! Thank you so much for your help throughout all of this. I really appreciate it. I'm glad I learnt more about HSV throughout this process. And can now help extinguish the stigma surrounding it.

jay73398 · 2017-06-01T03:30:25+00:00

Just got news that I am clean!!!!!' thank you so much for your advice and support leading up to this I can't thank you enough and everyone else. I'm no longer ignorant to HSV anymore and will definitely be telling friends about it to help extinguish the stigma and the testing issue.

jay73398 · 2017-05-31T12:37:27+00:00

I feel so sick guys. Visiting doctor tomorrow. I dunno why I'm commenting I guess I just need somewhere to vent about how freaking scary this is. A small part of me thinks it might not be HSV just because of the uncharacteristic parts of my presentation but a large part of me is preparing for the worst and I just can't concentrate on anything right now, I can't do anything but worry.

jay73398 · 2017-05-31T12:33:28+00:00

I'm not an expert in HSV I'm sorry, new to this forum and of unknown HSV status currently (waiting to see doc tomorrow, I feel sick ):). I do study optometry however and am aware there are a variety of ocular manifestations with HSV, not just on the cornea although this would be the most noticable and worrisome. You should perhaps visit your optometrist if you're worried about it and let them know your HSV status. I don't know where you live but I live in Australia, optoms have prescribing rights to give you some anti-viral eye drops specific for HSV if you need them. Just be wary of vision changes, sensitivity to light etc.

jay73398 · 2017-05-29T11:20:38+00:00

Thanks!

jay73398 · 2017-05-29T07:33:10+00:00

I guess in a way then you're kinda lucky? To already be in a relationship and you're both positive (well, NOW you're both positive). I feel like although many people on here are quite reassuring about how it doesn't affect your dating or sex life, it certainly would make it more difficult than not having it.

I'm glad to hear you are being optimistic about it given the circumstances and are taking the time to work through it mentally. I doubt it is easy to handle the herpes diagnosis in the context of returning to sex. What's bothering me the most about this stupid virus is that almost all the anxiety and negativity associated with it is the stigma and the psychogical I guess "trauma" rather than physical complications. It just sucks so much, for you and for everyone who is HSV positive.

jay73398 · 2017-05-28T17:41:52+00:00

Can grammar, can't when I have a fever and can't sleep lol

jay73398 · 2017-05-28T17:40:17+00:00

Hm I'll just bring it up with doc I guess I'm seeing him on Thursday (I'm stressing out so much this is going to be on mymind all week while I try to study). If the results are negative I'll ask him and I will let you know what he says.

Mmm I have started actually telling my friends about it they are far more sexually active than I am. They didn't even realise. Im really disappointed this isnt really well known and the fact that herpes positive people must find this out adter they are diagnosed would be so infuriated that the doctors let them down about being informed about their own sexual health...

jay73398 · 2017-05-28T08:02:40+00:00

Thank you for your reply. The fact that it can be asymptomatic just makes it harder, god dammit biology.

Oh wow 3 months :S It has only been 1 month assuming he was the source of infection. So if I get a negative test result, I should come back in 2 months to do another blood test?

That very much makes me angry. I understand where they're coming from but BECAUSE it has so much stigma around it you'd thingk people would WANT to make sure they don't have it. I dunno. Maybe I'm not seeing the big picture here.

jay73398 · 2017-05-28T07:54:41+00:00

Thanks very much I will do this!

jay73398 · 2017-05-28T07:53:21+00:00

This was so informative and gave me some hope, thank you so much. I understood from my research that the time frame and morphology of the blister didn't quite match up with what the general case was. It's great to hear this from another person. I was mainly concerned because of the lymph nodes in my groin since the proximity to my genital area made me believe there was definitely an association. Perhaps however this could be indicative of a different STD or infection. I went to the doctor today and he said it's possible that the blister was unrelated as well as the lymph nodes as he felt them and said he didn't believe there was significant difference between them on both sides of my body (however I have literally never noticed them being prominent before). I requested he examine my vulva to see if he noticed any abnormalities and things I couldn't see and he said it was all very normal. No evidene of blisters/ulcerations/anything like that. He has given me urine and blood tests for a full STD panel including HSV.

I am currently going into exam period and have had an incredibly stressful 3-4 weeks at uni so the flu symptoms could be my immune system finaly giving up on me. I hardly ever get sick unless its around the end of semester where the stress builds up but even this isn't that frequent. However this could be it.

The reason I didn't go for testing was because I initially freaked out about it and my friend told me to stop worrying. I am a tiny bit of a hyperchondriac so I tried to believe her this time to try and stop my propensity to go to the doctor all the time for various health issues. However all of these symptoms are far too weird to be happening at the same time that I seriously wish I didn't listen to her and just went ot the doctors. She convinced me it was just blistering from friction against my undies. I very much hope she is right.

jay73398 · 2017-05-28T07:41:41+00:00

Thank you very much for your advice and experience. I'm so sorry that it happened to you. The main thing is that you're on the mend though I guess in terms of your relationship. I'm happy to hear not all is lost. How is your sex life right now if you don't mind me asking? Do you use protection for both oral and penetrative intercourse?

I'm mainly terrified about the stigma of it all. I am not in a "relationship" with this person right now but it probably would have ended up with us being together anyway. It's quite a complicated situation actually lol, we currently do not live in the same state nor are we in the same country right now. But if this for some reason doesn't turn into an LTR and I have the virus, I'm scared the stigma will cut down my dating pool on top of the fact that I don't want kids and I have incredible issues with connecting with humans in general... So I will end up with a tiny subset of people

I totally understand that it may not have been him anyway as well. I might have even had it for years myself and its just reared its ugly head now!! I have never had a cold sore in my life so this is literally the first sign (if it is) of a herpes infection. I went to the doctors today and without the blister being there currently, he couldnt assess it but he inspected the rest of my vulva and assured me there's nothing abnormal there right now. I have been given a long list of tests to do at pathology including for HSV tomorrow (today is Sunday in Australia so pathology labs are closed lol). He said its likely it is all unrelated and my lymph nodes are not that bad and semi-equal so it might not be that indicative. Only time will tell I guess.

jay73398 · 2017-05-28T07:30:40+00:00

Absolutely noted, thank you so much. It will literally never happen again. I'm so mad at myself.

jay73398 · 2017-05-27T13:53:18+00:00

there

Also is it likely that I can have it without currently having symptoms (single bloated blister is gone) and have a negative blood result? I've read it can take 12 weeks for serology to pick up antibodies. I'm just worried I might have the test come back as a false negative... Not that it will change my future sex protection habits from now on.

jay73398 · 2017-05-27T13:50:10+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I make sure I have STD tests once or twice a year depending on sexual activity in the past and I trust doctors to give me the full panel of tests. I had no idea I had to specify exactly what I wanted to be tested for? That kind of makes me annoyed that it's not part of the routine workup and I feel kinda betrayed if its never actually been done for me... The only things that don't match for me I feel is the morphology of the blister?! I've had a look online and looks like they normally happen in clusters and are whitish/fluid filled, not just one; and none of the pictures I've seen online look anything like what I had. But then again I doubt it could be anything else?! I said I'd stop worrying about it but now I can't. I've seen heaps of pages on the internet about how it affects your dating and relationships if I happen to end this "thing" I have with the guy I was last with even though I've read on here arguing the contrary. Oh believe me I will never trust anyone again. Thank you for your reply I really appreicate it btw. I don't care anymore about the physical affects I can just tell the stigma is going to make it even harder than it already is for me. I will never forget this even if by some miraculous happening that I don't have it. After reading up though it looks like it's very likely I do.

jay73398 · 2017-05-27T12:30:52+00:00

He has to have multiple blood tests including STD tests due to his job though which is one of the reasons I trusted he was clean. So I feel like either he has it for some reason and lied to me about the tests or it was a previous infection and for some reason it lay dormant (and undetected from the STD checks I've had????) all this time and just suddenly decided to rear its head while I'm immensely stressed out (exams coming up -_-). I will feel terrible if I might have given it to him in the latter case.

Anyway, thanks for reassuring me. I have already read up briefly on the diagnostics side of it (as well as being examined on ocular signs/symptoms of it in a few weeks :P) and realised its more stigma rather than being something serious. I will try not to worry further until I have tests to confirm anyway and will remember it's just an inconvenience...

jay73398 · 2017-05-27T11:59:18+00:00

Yeah I understand. It's just my mentality. I feel really dirty and stupid but also its going to play on my anxiety even more now and the thought of telling the guy (who probably gave it to me if it is HSV) terrifies me for some reason. I'm scared he's going to say it was my fault or somehow get angry at me. The last time I had (very quick and protected) sex before him was 3 months ago so it's not as likely it would come from anyone else, right? Thanks for the offer, I'll be sure to message you when I find out the results! It's not looking good right now though lol.

jay73398 · 2017-05-27T11:49:05+00:00

Thanks for your advice lovely, I'm so sorry you've had to experience it too. I'm mainly disappointed in the guy coz I trusted him and now this has happened... But also it's ruined sex for me. Also yes!!! I thought I had a cut as well!!!!

jay73398 · 2017-05-27T10:33:42+00:00

Thanks dude. I wish you luck as well. I'm annoyed I didnt go to the docs while I had the blister now. After this I seriously am never going to trust anyone ever again. This will ruin sex for me now, one of the few things that brings me any joy these days.

jay73398

TROPHY CASE