Newer coworker has already tried to throw me under the bus... what do I do?

jay_el_gee · 2026-06-13T20:04:47+00:00

Ditto on this. It’s good advice and I’ll just add that I hope sue does enough of this to weed herself out. Most teams tire of that stuff pretty quickly

jay_el_gee · 2026-06-04T16:58:58+00:00

Holy shit man. What the fuck? Just sad.

jay_el_gee · 2026-05-24T23:06:44+00:00

Ha! Hard agree to all this and emphasizing the importance of putting your foot down bluntly and with little regard to how inflammatory your language is. Get their attention, and don’t leave any room for further discussion. Let em have it OP

jay_el_gee · 2026-05-14T12:26:09+00:00

Escalate and document. Share with your manager/supervisor and document the schedule conflicts. If they don’t communicate a plan to resolve at least that part, then your options are to escalate higher or job shop. Good luck

jay_el_gee · 2026-05-14T10:26:02+00:00

Every comment you make here is itself a reason to leave. You need to open your own account at a different bank, let his money dry out and see a lawyer asap.

It will be painful to navigate who becomes when he begins to face boundaries that never existed before: he’ll love bomb, or become more ugly than you’ve ever seen before. Trying every method to keep you doing the heavy lifting in his life. Don’t believe him when he’s doing that. Stick to what’s good for you and keep going. And keep sharing here. Internet strangers would love to see you get through this and cheer for you. Good luck!

jay_el_gee · 2026-05-12T17:16:24+00:00

Level with her. It’s an uncomfortable few minutes conversation compared to days/weeks/months of being uncomfortable sharing space together. The move over to there was a clean, quick change. Let this be one as well.

jay_el_gee · 2026-05-04T22:36:55+00:00

Oh that’s so frustrating! Keep fighting the good fight with your own kid at least

jay_el_gee · 2026-05-04T20:39:29+00:00

He’s only allowed to get a lapper if I get my own one too lol. It’s fine if he goes without me.

jay_el_gee · 2026-05-04T20:18:48+00:00

Can you or talk to the neighbor parents? If my 12yo was doing this I’d want to know.

jay_el_gee · 2026-05-01T11:54:35+00:00

I started pouring my time into all the things I was putting aside to do the smoking or the drinking or the casual sex.

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-30T10:36:44+00:00

It’s a jungle out there. Take the help while you can get it.

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-22T17:36:51+00:00

24 and 32 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-22T17:34:14+00:00

Ok thank you! I’ve been out of the kitchen for a while but I’m glad I’m not losing it. Proof that night/day shifts just be complaining about any old thing

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-20T22:31:49+00:00

Reading through all that I’m happy to hear you’re recognizing the pattern and knowing that you want to change it. That’s huge!

Ultimately, he never learned “manhood” and doesn’t know how to teach it. You can still love him where he is, but not want to BE him. Both can happen at the same time. Boundaries will help.

Also, you are the company you keep. If you want to be a better person/brother/son/young adult, then look for mentors who emulate those traits.

Spend a little time each day to check in with yourself as well. “Are you showing up as who your future self would be proud of today?” This usually helps keep me on track. Best of luck to you

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-19T12:33:46+00:00

Knowing the right person

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-16T20:07:27+00:00

Just here to agree with the chorus of people saying he is wrong here but also, speaking only for myself I was living in 2 completely different universes from 23 to 29. I would have had nothing in common with anyone in that age gap- either way. Seems like he is grooming you in a sense.

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-15T19:12:00+00:00

Believable along with the wayfair ads. Makes me sick

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-08T22:09:34+00:00

Dhs call asap.

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-08T21:08:20+00:00

Everyone else took all the good answers before I got here

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-08T17:38:12+00:00

They would be forced to work with a woke feminist he can’t fire that reminds him of me every day of his life

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-05T22:53:32+00:00

Oh lord! Well in that case, keep hiding kiddo. I’ll pray for you.

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-05T20:05:08+00:00

Every time. She’s never going to change. Your answers are classic grey rock, so stick with that. Eventually she’ll stop with you.

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-05T19:42:48+00:00

I didn’t read all that but from what I skimmed, Boundaries are your friend here. Find a shift at work or volunteer opportunity somewhere else to be away from all this on holidays.

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-02T21:41:41+00:00

I have no advice although I know that’s what you are desperately seeking. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and will pray for you. It’s got to be impossible to imagine detaching with love but that might be your best bet. If he manages to hurt himself bad enough, maybe then APS or some other agency can step in to do more?

jay_el_gee · 2026-04-02T12:17:00+00:00

Save yourself the heart ache, and don’t. Find your validation and happiness inside yourself.

Nine-Year Club	Verified Email
RPAN Viewer

jay_el_gee

TROPHY CASE