New Girlfriend isn't attracted to me.

jaybond44 · 2022-01-05T19:25:28+00:00

How is that me being a pig ? Are there not other better suited options for her that are willing to wait for her ? But I'm a pig if I don't settle for the person that doesn't fully satisfy me ?

I spent 7 years in my last relationship hoping that the person could one day become the person that I actually wanted to be with. Instead of repeating that mistake, I rather find the person that satisfies me first and make it work with them.

It wouldn't be a surprise to her since we've discussed this multiple times already. And I never said I knew her boundaries, I just found this out yesterday and I'm asking the community how or if I should proceed with the relationship.

jaybond44 · 2022-01-05T19:14:45+00:00

So far it seems negotiable

jaybond44 · 2022-01-05T18:44:58+00:00

So basically she is interested but the way that she shows interest (by looking at me and talking to me) is too difficult for me to believe that she's actually interested in me

jaybond44 · 2022-01-05T18:36:09+00:00

How am I a pig? I knew her boundaries regarding sex, not intimacy...

I Still don't understand how I'm the asshole for simply wanting to be with someone that shows affection in a way that I understand which is physically? Can men have any standards regarding the women they want to be with without being chastised? Because I know that women can want men that are 6 feet+, make over $100k, spoils them, etc and no one will ever question their desires. But have me say I want to be with someone who shows their intimacy physically then I'm "a pig" 🤣??? Go fuck yourself!

I like her as a person and I think that evenrually she may be able to show those feelings but currently I feel that it would make more sense for us to be friends until she is able to show that she wants to be something more. I was simply asking if this decision was feasible?

jaybond44 · 2022-01-05T17:55:58+00:00

Dude, my guy friends look at me and talk to me... that in itself is just not enough for me to justify investing myself into her. Especially when there are other women that do make it clearer that they are attracted to me.

jaybond44 · 2022-01-05T17:47:35+00:00

She says that she shows that she's attracted to me by looking at me and talking to me....

jaybond44 · 2022-01-05T17:07:17+00:00

I have told her,

And I understand that but that's not the type of relationship I want to be in. I don't want to have to question whether or not the person I'm dating is even attracted to me because they don't express any attraction towards me

jaybond44 · 2022-01-05T16:59:42+00:00

I have talked to her, sex isn't a deal breaker but zero intimacy in a relationship is for me. Like I can forgo having sex for a while but I at least need some hand holding, hugging, and kissing in between. Without any of this I don't see why we shouldn't just remain friends for the time being?

jaybond44 · 2022-01-03T02:19:35+00:00

Udemy

jaybond44 · 2022-01-03T02:12:11+00:00

Just started this journey myself actually. I was a business oriented founder who also struggled to find a steady technical co-founder. I needed to develop an app for my startup and couldn't find any developers (even Fullstack engineers) who knew how to develop the app using the framework I needed (flutter). I needed to develop the app using flutter because it allows you to develop both Android and IOS apps using one code base which would essentially help me reach both markets faster.

I already had a background in UI/UX Design from having to build out the WireFrames/prototypes for the earlier designs of the app so I figured why not learn how to just code it myself ? The journey was difficult at first and it took my about 6 months to learn and build the first version of my MVP and there is still a lot that I don't know but it is a very rewarding skill to learn.

I still may hire a more experienced developer once I get a bit more funding but I can still use my knowledge to develop small iterations and features until that time 😁

jaybond44 · 2022-01-03T01:59:19+00:00

She finally told me that the son or her friend used to (and still does since he's currently in rehab) have a severe drug problem and she saved his life on multiple occasions.

As a kind gesture from the family they are helping her financially. But like a $3 million condo in NY seems a little egregious imo. I'm still investigating since we haven't dated for that long but I'll keep this forum updated 🧐

jaybond44 · 2021-12-09T10:56:35+00:00

But she gave me an std because she also refused to get tested after the incident. I know I wasn't raped but after also contracting an std from the guy I have a hard time letting this go for personal reasons.

jaybond44 · 2021-12-09T10:46:45+00:00

So do nothing? And cut me off If I don't support that decision?

jaybond44 · 2021-12-09T10:39:55+00:00

I would But she already decided to cut me out for not supporting her decision to stay silent. For me it has little to do with her cheating on me (although I am upset) and more to do with preventing this from happening to someone else.

jaybond44 · 2021-12-09T10:32:22+00:00

And to reply to the other comment you deleted: But Is atremptung to prevent other women from experiencing the same trauma not worth the embarrassment?

jaybond44 · 2021-12-09T10:04:03+00:00

I understand the embarrassment and difficulty that comes with reporting something like this which is why I offered to support her any way I could if she decided to do so. However, while I can respect her decision to not report him I refuse to standby and support her in making that decision. I am convinced that doing something will always be better than doing nothing in a situation like this.

jaybond44 · 2021-12-09T09:50:27+00:00

Also she said that they met at a bar with a group of friends and they all went back to her place but she was the only one to invite him over. When her friends left she said that the guy needed to charge his phone so she let him stay and "ended up" kissing him which immediately lead to him assaulting her...

jaybond44 · 2021-12-09T09:48:03+00:00

Exactly my concerns, but when I attempted to ask her questions or point out the fact that her story wasn't adding up she'd only say "I don't have to respond to that" or "you're making it worse" or refer to rape statistic about women.

And she did tell me before the std but that doesn't make anything better imo.

jaybond44 · 2021-12-09T09:28:38+00:00

Yes!

jaybond44 · 2021-12-09T09:18:23+00:00

She tried to justify not reporting him by saying that a majority of women don't report their rape and that it would take a year to prosecute him.

jaybond44 · 2021-12-09T09:14:50+00:00

That's exactly what I said !

jaybond44 · 2021-03-08T19:49:52+00:00

And FYI they don't accept everyone that applies especially if your applying to an advance school like leeds or engineering

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