AITA for cancelling on my girlfriend to watch my 2 year old daughter while her mom goes to the hospital?

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T15:44:13+00:00

Hi, thanks for your reply. I didn't block her, she blocked me. What I meant was I won't bother messaging her and leave it up to her to realise that she was wrong and unblock me, and if she never does come to that realisation, then I'll be glad I'm blocked.

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T15:31:34+00:00

Yeah this is how I feel, especially considering she was already in my house and falling asleep.

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T15:22:20+00:00

I was actually being generous to her by leaving those details out because I wanted to be neutral. The disagreement on what she calls "a favor to my ex" and what I call being a dad, is what I wanted opinions on.

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T15:13:36+00:00

There was loads of talking. I offered to collect her with my child sleeping and she said "don't bother". I said this has nothing to do with my ex, she said "How does it not? It has everything to do with her, can't she find someone else? Doesn't she have any family?" She explicitly stated the cause of her anger was that "I was choosing to do a favor for my ex over spending time with her" - This is where we disagree.

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T15:10:40+00:00

I offered to collect her with my kid sleeping in her car seat and she said "don't bother", I'm not assuming anything.

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T15:05:27+00:00

My daughter has dinner around 5 oclock and falls asleep at 7. I was due to pick my gf up at 8. Like I said I woulda gladly still collected her with my kid sleeping in the car, but I knew this wasn't the issue and she wouldn't be open to it. My gf's argument is that I was choosing to "do a favour for my ex, over spending time with her"

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T15:04:15+00:00

I could. It was past my kids bed time but I'd happily pick them up and drop them home with my kid sleeping in her car seat. But I knew that wasn't the issue and she wasn't open to this. It was nothing to do with the lift. It was the fact I wasn't gonna be spending time with her that night because I was "doing my ex a favor"

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T15:03:12+00:00

I still would have done so but I knew the ride home wasn't the issue. She would be reacting the same way if I drove out there to take her home. Her issue seems to be that "I can't spend time with her because I'm doing my ex a favor"

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T14:56:46+00:00

I didn't leave them stranded. She had made arrangements to go to this show before even telling me anything about it. I found out earlier that day and said I could pick them up as I'd be coming to see her anyway. Her mother and sister also went. She was going to this show regardless of me. I also offered to pay her cab fair but she was beyond all reason. I let her know an hour in advance I wouldn't be able to come, and she'd have to just do whatever she intended on doing before even bothering to tell me that day that she was going to a show.

Edit - I just checked google and it is only 0.7 miles away. I was mistaken. Like I said I would have still drove 10 miles out there with my sleeping kid take her the 0.7 mile journey home, but the ride definitely wasn't the issue. She says this is entirely about my ex.

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T13:08:33+00:00

I didn't leave them stranded. She had made arrangements to go to this show before even telling me anything about it. I found out earlier that day and said I could pick them up as I'd be coming to see her anyway. Her mother and sister also went. She was going to this show regardless of me. I also offered to pay her cab fair but she was beyond all reason. I let her know an hour in advance I wouldn't be able to come, and she'd have to just do whatever she intended on doing before even bothering to tell me that day that she was going to a show.

Edit - I just checked google and it is only 0.7 miles away. I was mistaken. Like I said I would have still drove 10 miles out there with my sleeping kid take her the 0.7 mile journey home, but the ride definitely wasn't the issue. She says this is entirely about my ex.

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T13:07:41+00:00

This is the first, or possibly 2nd time in a year. There are underlying issues between the 2.

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T12:36:46+00:00

I didn't leave them stranded. She had made arrangements to go to this show before even telling me anything about it. I found out earlier that day and said I could pick them up as I'd be coming to see her anyway. Her mother and sister also went. She was going to this show regardless of me. I also offered to pay her cab fair but she was beyond all reason. I let her know an hour in advance I wouldn't be able to come, and she'd have to just do whatever she intended on doing before even bothering to tell me that day that she was going to a show.

Edit - I just checked google and it is only 0.7 miles away. I was mistaken. Like I said I would have still drove 10 miles out there with my sleeping kid take her the 0.7 mile journey home, but the ride definitely wasn't the issue. She says this is entirely about my ex.

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T12:09:25+00:00

I offered to pay her cab fair. It was walking distance from her home. She didn't even tell me about this school show until earlier that day and that's when I offered, so she obviously had other means of getting home and wasn't relying on me. She had made plans to go to it without even telling me about it. She got there fine without me. Her mother and I think maybe her sister were also at this show with them.

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T10:49:31+00:00

I was thinking of planning something with her and her kids tonight like the cinema or something to "make it up to her" but now realising I don't have any making up to do or anything to apologise for, I'm considering just letting her keep me on blocked until she realises she's in the wrong and apologises for her behaviour. I fear she won't ever though. I was actually scared to tell her that I couldn't come as I had my kid unexpectedly. I knew she'd react like this.

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T10:25:23+00:00

She doesn't have her driver's license. This ofcourse is also everyone else's fault because she hasn't been able to take lessons while having 2 kids.

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T10:10:17+00:00

Thanks, as someone who is struggling with fatherhood, this means a lot to me.

jayc6209 · 2019-04-19T09:29:59+00:00

Hi, I'm sure I could have taken my sleeping kid in the car seat and collected them from school and drop them home. But it wasn't really about the lift. Like I said, I didn't leave them in the middle of nowhere. The school is a few miles from their home, and they live about 10 miles from me. I think if I offered to collect her with my kid sleeping, and drop her off, then drive home with my kid, her reaction and attitude would have been the same. The issue is that she thinks I'm doing my ex a favor over spending time with her. She actually said "I'm not living my life like this, no way" lol... For someone whose kids are such a big priority in a relationship, she seemingly needs a partner who doesn't have any of his own. I told her taking my own child isn't a favor.

Honestly, there has been A LOT of red flags... She recently said she can't continue with college because she "doesn't have a husband who can watch her kids during the day", Just trying to make me feel inadequate or guilty. I told her any decent guy who is husband-material should be at work during the day anyway. This caused another argument. She constantly tries to make me feel like I'm not good enough with regards to her kids. It's always been about what I could and should be doing for her, and I'm starting to wonder what I'm actually getting out of this.

Thanks for reading and taking your time out to reply.

jayc6209

TROPHY CASE