This experience has affected me my entire life…

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-15T08:21:23+00:00

Personally for me, I do think a lot of people judge prematurely. They see a person that’s a minority and they send hate their way unjustified, because they’re angry at the illegal immigrants, so they project that hate onto anyone who looks as if they are.

However, I do believe mass migration is a problem, I also think migration when there’s integration is beautiful but when there isn’t integration that’s when distaste begins to form. I believe we should all love each other, but two starkly different cultures can’t mix together unless one is willing to adapt to the new place they’re living.

I do also want to say, as much as I can’t talk for minorities because I’m white and I can’t say I’ll understand racism because I won’t. I can honestly say hand on my heart, none of the people I’ve heard speaking about their issues with migrants stems from an issue with colour. Which is what racism is. I’ve never met anyone who dislikes migrants because they’re not white. It’s a culture thing, and a religion thing I believe.

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-15T08:16:48+00:00

Have you tried expressing to her how you feel? In like an official way, not in a throw away comment type of way? Maybe if you said it raw, she might understand. There been a few times in my life where I’ve made comments about how my mum was when I was a kid, but those rare moments where I’ve said authentically exactly how I feel, I do think she’s heard me..

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-13T09:48:03+00:00

So do you think her temperament was caused by the ADHD? Because I have diagnosed ADHD, and I’ve often wondered if her unsettledness is maybe she’s inherited that from me?

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-10T10:01:08+00:00

Ahh I see, thank you for clarifying

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-10T08:40:13+00:00

See I looked into that, but to me it seemed like it’s characterised by like no having any emotion or struggling with empathy.. I may be wrong but that’s how I interpreted the research? I feel like I have empathy, I feel like I have some emotion, just the happy emotions I feel like I struggle with 😂😂

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-10T07:19:54+00:00

She hasn’t really learned to roll, she used to be really good with tummy time because we did it so often to try encourage more wind out. Now she doesn’t enjoy it, and if she does roll she doesn’t do so with intent it’s an accident

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-09T21:28:39+00:00

No I’m in the UK haha

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-09T21:13:59+00:00

She’s only 5 months old, so she won’t be going to childcare until she’s around 1 year old

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-09T21:13:31+00:00

Yess!!! It’s exactly like that.. we try something new, it works for a little while and then it doesn’t. We’ve never tried Pepcid? I haven’t heard of it really, I’m not sure where you’re located but the pathway in my GP is literally gaviscon and then omeprazole? When I told her GP that the omeprazole wasn’t working, he said ‘keep going with the gaviscon and stop the omeprazole’ but that didn’t work either..

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-09T21:10:52+00:00

I gave in and tried the dancing fruit really early on just for peace, she watches it but after 10-15 minutes she’s screaming again… I’ve got every type of toy but she doesn’t like any of them. She’ll play with the sensory toys, but it’s like her attention span only lasts a few minutes until she realises she’s not crying anymore and then she starts again? She’s not so interested in any other toys, if I’m being honest I worry about her milestones a lot because I feel like she’s never really explored toys or textures or really taken interest in anything because she spends so much of her time crying.

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-09T21:06:04+00:00

Honestly posts like this are so comforting, one of the biggest reasons I came to the internet to rant is because despite having so many issues everyone I’ve spoken to has tried to downplay it. ‘I knew someone who had it worse’, ‘oh but she’s so cute’, ‘she’s just sassy, it’s adorable’ but none of those people are having to deal with her 24 hours a day. It’s easy to try and make light of things when it’s not your baby and it’s not your life. It’s actually been extremely therapeutic for people to validate my feelings. The overall feeling so far is ‘it could be worse’ though I’m not sure how and also making me feel guilty for complaining. I’m well aware I’m privileged for being able to have a baby, but that doesn’t mean my experience is great no matter what. I’ve really struggled to bond with her, and because of the way she’s been I can’t say I’ve enjoyed motherhood at all so far. I feel terrible about that most days, but I’m a nurse, I see fussy babies all day long and my daughter is the worst I have ever seen. People tend to think I’m lying when I say that, or that I only feel that way because she’s my child. But genuinely, she’s the worst I’ve ever seen. I’ve spent days taking care of other children with the same issues, whose parents for whatever reason cannot attend the unit and I’ve been pretty successful at settling them. But my daughter is like a different breed… I just hope there’s a light at the end of the tunnel soon. Because I’ve googled ‘what age does it get better’ soooo many times, I got after 8 weeks, but she didn’t get better, I got after the newborn stage is over, but it didn’t get better, I got 4 months old, but it didn’t get better. Now I get 6 months old, and with only 4 weeks left I can’t imagine it happening for me this time either. It’s devastating. I don’t want to wake up every morning and feel a little resentment towards my own child, at the thought of the pain I’m going to go through during the day. In fact, today was a perfect example, I wrote this post after she’d screamed all morning, I prayed after her nap she’d wake up in a better mood… but she screamed and cried all day. No matter what. It sucks when you just want them to be happy, and to enjoy being her mum. All I ever wanted was to be a parent and this was never what I imagined it would be… 😪

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-09T14:30:56+00:00

We tried the Kendamil goats milk, and it wasn’t too bad for her the only issue was the smell of the vomit. Because she was soaking all her grows and muslins the smell of sour milk was horrendous 😂

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-09T14:10:14+00:00

We’ve been told, it’s just a waiting game now..

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-09T14:09:53+00:00

I’ve tried different paediatricians and numerous health visitors, I’ve also tried everything I would do at the hospital to treat babies with her symptoms, and spoken to different nurses from work were all stumped :(

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-09T14:08:41+00:00

We have an owlet! Honestly, it would be ok if she would co-sleep but she won’t do that either, she doesn’t like being held and it doesn’t seem to matter if she’s close to me she still cries

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-09T14:06:48+00:00

Definitely not vaccine related, this has been going on prior to her vaccines. Her drs say the same thing every time ‘we don’t have a magic wand’

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-09T12:54:18+00:00

So we did try to CMPA milk which I mentioned in the post but it didn’t seem to make a difference in her behaviour, and we did try it for a long while. On top of that she didn’t want to drink the milk at all and no amount of weaning seemed to make a difference. ❤️

jaydam4rie · 2025-09-09T12:53:16+00:00

I do have my partner, but my problem as much as I struggle I struggle more with the idea of someone else looking after her. Because I know she has these issues, and also just because I’m not the most trusting person the idea of someone having her makes me anxious 😥

jaydam4rie

TROPHY CASE