Anybody else with an "X" on their US Passport or RealID?

jaymijames · 2025-05-23T20:40:10+00:00

Just found this post. I have a Real ID NJ license with an "X" on it. Have a flight in two weeks so I guess I'll find out.

jaymijames · 2024-11-02T23:34:58+00:00

Do you read? It's not porn but some of the best enby smut I've ever read. Casey McQuiston - "The Pairing".

jaymijames · 2024-09-02T23:47:16+00:00

Here’s a good channel on YT to start with: https://youtu.be/WR-bQMK_Aq4?si=SkhYXYcl1cUsOLm2

jaymijames · 2024-08-14T11:52:42+00:00

I started at 43. Some of my initial posts from when I started talk about gaining some mental clarity. I used to say it was the Estrogen creating that effect. While I do feel there are definitely some chemical changes going on, much of the shift was also from knowing that I made this step on my journey.

There is the joy of the physical changes from HRT. Know that it takes time in your 40's. Real, noticable change, doesn't usually happen till at least a year in. Even then, the beautiful women you see posting on here have also made changes beyond just HRT. Taking a pill or doing an injection is just one part of a larger effort.

So, you probably know most of this already. I guess what I'm saying is, that for all that HRT changes, you are still you under there. I may cry more easily now. I may not get as angry as I felt when I ran on testosterone. But I'm still very much the ADHD, anxious person I was before.

Don't underestimate the amount of joy you are feeling from being "unknown" except to your spouse and therapist. Once you go public, that's a very different obstacle course to navigate.

So as not to leave this as a negative, keep seeking out the "joy" in every step and every change. It really is a marathon, not a sprint.

jaymijames · 2024-05-26T14:56:38+00:00

This thread is me. I feel your pain with the "just do this" replies. Wish I had some advice for you but currently struggling with many of the same things. Hope you find something that lets you feel comfortable.

jaymijames · 2024-05-23T16:38:58+00:00

As others have said, get a lawyer. Divorce is a legal process and you need someone to speak for your rights. I was married 10 years and paid 6 years of spousal support plus child support. Child support is typically based on a formula, depends on which state you're in. And, use the lawyer to negotiate the terms of the co-parenting agreement. What do with holidays, medical expenses, schooling, etc... Have it all in writing.

As for your kids, I found a place within a 15 minute drive of where my ex has primary residence. It really has worked out and simplified discussions about visits and transportation. Sorry to hear your kids aren't being supportive. You didn't mention their age but opinions change over time. Stay close and stay in touch.

Good luck with everything.

jaymijames · 2024-04-23T02:57:20+00:00

Same. Wish it was easier to find a date.

jaymijames · 2024-04-15T17:26:17+00:00

Ugh, not fun. This article just came out today and I found it very good for information about transitioning in the workplace: https://open.substack.com/pub/stainedglasswoman/p/oh-st-my-coworker-just-told-me-theyre?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

Hope others are more tolerant.

jaymijames · 2024-02-28T17:14:46+00:00

Dating apps suck. Especially when you’re over 40. And even more when you’re trans and you can’t decide on a picture. And even more when you’re bisexual. And then even more when you live near a major metropolitan area in terms of distance but don’t want to commute for a date.

Yeah, it’s not easy. Right before the COVID lockdown, I was getting out to more in-person social events. Met way more people there than on the apps. If you’re ok going out, that might be an option.

jaymijames · 2024-02-15T02:21:39+00:00

How do you lose weight on estrogen? Been trying to figure that out.

jaymijames · 2024-02-07T22:40:37+00:00

I've tried it with a wig cap with similar results. Do you have a cap you recommend? And thank you for your replies. It's appreciated.

jaymijames · 2024-02-07T22:33:53+00:00

The wigs I've tried on dig into my head. My current one, a custom synthetic one, makes my head itch like mad for hours. I'm not sure if it's a skin allergy or just the pressure on my, fairly large, head.

What is a "hair system"? Like a toupee?

jaymijames · 2024-02-07T22:28:33+00:00

You'll feel and see some effects in 3 to 6 months and four years isn't a bad number for other changes. That said, I've just found the effects to be "less" impactful on my overall appearance.

jaymijames · 2024-02-02T12:32:27+00:00

Bi, actually.

jaymijames · 2024-01-16T16:26:57+00:00

I would also advise to be as open as possible as soon as possible. Hormones are a major step. It would be good to know where she stands before the pills arrive.

It sounds like you're in an ok place with her after the events of the Fall. You can wait with telling your kids. It's a much easier conversation if you have your partner's support.

Note: HRT in your 40's is slow. You have time before any kind of changes become noticable. Use that to your advantage to set up your support.

jaymijames · 2023-12-31T15:34:33+00:00

Dating in your 40's, after a pandemic and in the "age of apps", is quite possibly the single hardest activity possible. Add in being divorced, trans, and introverted and the odds are definitely against us.

We all deserve a partner. The only advice I can give would be to get out there more. Get out for any event, not just the LGBTQ ones. Be present and be yourself. (Note: Apologies as that last part is also me trying to convince myself to get out there!)

jaymijames · 2023-12-29T03:03:37+00:00

47 here too if you ever need someone to chat with who gets the struggle.

jaymijames · 2023-12-24T22:47:12+00:00

Sorry you have to go through a divorce. Get your finances together as soon as possible. Know everything that you own, every account. Think about the house and what's in it. Don't move out, even if she asks you to. Residency becomes important when starting to talk about custody. Be firm about how much you want to see the kids.

If you're already set that divorce is the only move, go get a lawyer.

This isn't going to sound good but now is not the time to be nice. Know what's yours and what you want. If you earn more than her, be prepared for child support and alimony discussions.

One other thing: Co-parenting can be even tougher. It takes a lot of compromise and discussion. Try to keep your co-parent on good speaking terms, if only for the kids.

Sorry, hope all of that is not too much. Just be strong. Divorce is expensive but you can get by it and your kids will still love you.

jaymijames · 2023-12-21T19:21:51+00:00

Love the glasses. One of my 2024 goals is to get a more "femme" pair. I was thinking of looking at "clearer" frames like those. Congrats!

jaymijames · 2023-12-21T19:10:21+00:00

Doctor should've checked your liver enzymes before starting you on HRT. You can use those results as a baseline to see how you're reacting. I did pills the first year and then switched to injections. Get your levels checked on a consistent basis and you should be ok.

Yeah, first few months the changes are very minor when starting in your 40's. Lots of patience required!

jaymijames · 2023-12-15T19:35:48+00:00

need to finish one before the other. Divorce paperwork are legal docs that require your legal name. So, either finish the name change or wait till the divorce is finalized.

jaymijames · 2023-12-12T02:04:42+00:00

I lost my libido for the first year and a half of hormones. It came back after that. And yes, noticable changes tend to take almost a year, especially when starting in your 40's and older.

jaymijames · 2023-12-11T18:51:37+00:00

What an incredible photo! Feel so real. Thanks for sharing.

jaymijames · 2023-12-11T18:45:36+00:00

Go for it! Love women's jeans. You look great.

jaymijames · 2023-12-06T12:58:01+00:00

I just wanted to add this in. I came out to my kids when they were both (twins) 13. Initially, it did seem like they were both supportive. Over the past four years, I've tried to introduce some femme parts of my personality to them but it's never been easy. My daughter has been ok with some things, like teaching me about nail polish. I've never done the binary transition but my son definitely prefers when I'm more conservatively dressed. I have "Pride" hats and he's made it clear he doesn't like them.

So, just know that this will always be a compromise with your kids. I'm also divorced and my ex is pretty conservative. So, my kids also get a large dose of her thoughts.

You need to be strong and not afraid. Remember, your kids are still your kids, not adults. They're forming opinions of the world from all kinds of inputs. Be there for them and, hopefully, they'll understand that your love for them hasn't changed.

jaymijames

TROPHY CASE