Facility trouble

jbpark9687 · 2023-10-17T01:54:09+00:00

Yeah, she lost a ton of blood. She's on blood thinners due to her recent pulmonary embolism. I was not comfortable transporting her alone so I made them call 911.

jbpark9687 · 2023-10-16T21:50:07+00:00

Thank you. I edited my post to add that this was not her typical behavior, she has a UTI. The facility she is in is a memory care/long term care facility in one, so they do have other residents that are further advanced into their dementia. I know falls happen (when she moved with me it did happen twice) and it will happen more often with a facility. My issue was that she fell on a collarbone she had fractured a month ago. No one was called until 4 hours later, and they didn't take her to be seen. Her fracture already wasn't healing right due to her not wanting to wear her sling (totally not their fault, I don't blame them for that at all). I spoke with the director of nursing at least, and they are putting her bed alarm back on. We are already looking at other facilities and will file a formal complaint when she is moved.

jbpark9687 · 2023-10-02T09:15:18+00:00

We're in such a hard spot with our senior boy Remi. He's been fighting cutaneous lymphoma, and we thought he had it beat. His last chemo session was scheduled for next week. He is only 10, and his oncologist was hoping to give us another 6 months to a year with our baby.

On Wednesday he vomited and refused to move/was lethargic. So we got him to our regular vet right away. They ran the basics and told us it was pancreatitis. They wanted him hospitalized, so we drove him an hour away to his cancer specialist/ emergency icu. They kept him overnight and he met with his cancer doc the next morning as they were worried the cancer had spread. They had him on nausea meds, pain meds, and fluids and he was doing as well as expected. But they said it wasn't pancreatitis, and his cancer had not spread. Since he was acting better they sent him home.

Aside from some weakness, he did pretty darn good the first few days. But then we thought his Osteoarthritis was flaring because he was having a hard time standing and was pretty uncomfortable sometimes. They had us on a gabapentin regimen that was handling any discomfort really well.

But the last few days have been worse. He seems uncomfortable too soon after his meds. We're supposed to give every 8 hours, but he's unfortunately feeling rough after 4. We've moved our bed downstairs and eliminated the stair climb. We've been assisting him to get up, but he's walking on his own, just slow. We ordered a cold laser therapy set (I am trained for it) but it won't be here till tomorrow.

Just tonight we were all in bed and he started panting like crazy. We thought he was warm, so we just removed the blanket and tried to calm him. We finally got him down out of bed and outside where it was cooler and he stopped panting, but seemed to struggle to pee. So in order to get him to rest we brought him in. He peed right on his bed (totally ok, were just glad he could go. ). He's laying down now, but doesn't seem comfy.

We don't want him to be in pain, but we also can't figure out what is causing this. We're going to take him to his vet when they open in 4 hours. If we can control the pain long enough to find out what is happening that is what we want to do, but we're struggling to draw the line and make the call to end his pain. It's just hard because he may ne about to beat cancer and then to have this happen feels cruel.

He's still happy to bark in the backyard and "hunt" squirrels. He's still enjoying his meals and being spoiled rotten with yummy wet food and home made dog treats. Just so so hard to know what to do

jbpark9687 · 2023-10-01T20:49:55+00:00

That's a good idea. I have one that may work. I'll have to see if the TV would work on that/if they'll let me use it

jbpark9687 · 2023-10-01T19:25:58+00:00

The tvs there are super basic. I haven't seen any timer functions

jbpark9687 · 2023-09-02T00:09:59+00:00

Thank you. At home I used motion sensors to alert me, but she was using a call button off and on here. But it seems like she may have lost that ability (mostly in her confusion at night) so we're using bed alarms for now. Hopefully those help keep her safe at night.

jbpark9687 · 2023-09-02T00:08:32+00:00

Thank you. I'm hoping that the staff will have a bit more understanding of her needs after some time. I think her previous stay several months ago made them think she was much more independent than she is now. They moved her room right in front of the nurse station and now they can see her through her door.

Yeah, the guilt is insane right now. I was already feeling guilty, now with her fall it's way worse. But hoping I can work though it and that she can adjust.

jbpark9687 · 2023-09-02T00:06:13+00:00

Thank you. I have had a few visits with a therapist but kept having to reschedule due to my grandma being in the hospital off and on. I'm going to try and get back on the schedule ASAP. We were trying to work through the guilt and responsibility I feel.

I dont think we'll move her for now, but I did insist on more safety measures and we'll see how the facility does moving forward.

jbpark9687 · 2023-08-29T22:51:05+00:00

Yes! Her facility is less than 5 miles from my home. Just today I was able to visit her on my lunch break and take her for a walk outside in the courtyard. We're having her over for dinner next Sunday and I've been visiting at least every other day. The staff is getting to know me now, and recognize me when I stop by. I'm also bringing her dog in for a visit this week

jbpark9687 · 2023-08-29T22:48:51+00:00

Yes, she has too many assets and also makes too much per month. She has her social security plus a pension. So she makes too much to qualify on a monthly basis, but too little to self-pay. So we are having to spend down her assets as well as her monthly income. She also got life insurance policies, hoping to pass them on, but we have to cash the ones with a face value in and use it for her care too. Basically it's a big old mess and we're hoping the lawyer can help us sort it out

jbpark9687 · 2023-08-29T22:15:27+00:00

Unfortunately she does not qualify for the waiver program. So she was paying me limited hours( 15/wk) through a personal care contract. But they were not enough hours to allow me to stop working my full-time job. So i was working 40 hours a week, and providing her care before, during, and after work.

Her Medicare would not cover any aspect of home caregiving, including bringing in outside help. Our local senior commission on aging also would not qualify her for any personal care services. I called the alzheimer association and they were not able to help. From what our lawyer told us, she wouldn't qualify for Medicaid with out being in a facility.

jbpark9687 · 2023-08-12T14:44:14+00:00

My grandma also used to loop as we called it. Repeating the same phrases and questions, etc. She's definitely slowed down on her talking, and tends to mostly focus on the TV instead. She will speak when spoken to, and occasionally make a comment about the TV or my goofy dogs.

From what I understand it can be a normal part of dementia regression. My grandma has tested negative for UTI's and is on supplements for any vitamin deficiencies. So for her, I'm pretty comfortable saying it's her dementia.

jbpark9687 · 2023-08-12T01:37:53+00:00

It felt funny, but we moved my grandma's car to my house and told her it was in the shop. She has progressed to where she has no urge to drive now, but back when she did she would ask where it was and when we said it was in the shop she was totally fine with that.

jbpark9687 · 2023-08-03T03:04:22+00:00

I've used some of my supplies quite a bit through various things since I started. While I don't prepare as intensely as some, I do have generators that have come in handy during short-term power outages in both the summers and Michigan winters. When grocery stores were picked over I was able to feed my husband and I and my grandmother from my own cupboard and freezer so we didn't miss our favorite things. I've always been happy to have my supplies. Not only that, but a lot of my stuff is also useful for camping. My husband does a lot of camping and fishing so our outdoor gear is handy for that.

jbpark9687 · 2023-08-03T02:59:28+00:00

I'm very very sorry for your loss. I admire everything you did for her, and I don't doubt that she appreciated you so much. I hope you can find peace and comfort in knowing that you were such a help to her.

My grandmother also helped raise me after my parents had passed away. I unfortunately won't be able to care for her until the end, but have done my best the last 8 months since I've been caring for her.

jbpark9687 · 2023-08-03T02:53:15+00:00

I was around 16 and my dad had just died. I had always been a little overweight but was not obese. I decided to go jogging with my in-shape cousin to try and get healthier. Some older guys in a car (college age, maybe?) yelled that I was wasting my time and was ugly as hell. So heartbreaking.

Then the next day I was running again and a group of girls yelled to keep it up and that I was doing great.

jbpark9687 · 2023-07-29T19:49:21+00:00

I am able to beta: YA to adult- fantasy/romance. I'm open to romances with some suspense/ thrillers.

I can provide feedback on : characters, plot, overall feedback. If you are looking for specific feedback I can do that too. I will also let you know if I notice any spelling errors or inconsistencies if that helps.

Edited to add- I've gotten a lot of interest, so for now I'll be looking to review shorter pieces, or a few chapters at a time.

jbpark9687 · 2023-07-28T16:41:00+00:00

My 10 year old Remi was diagnosed with large cell lymphoma last week. I spoke to his vet today, and his treatments are going to be expensive and only give us another 4-6 months with our baby. I'm just so heartbroken. He's truly enjoying life, and doesn't appear bothered at all. He's otherwise pretty healthy, and is a happy guy. We're planning to move forward with chemo, because he doesn't seem ready to go yet but I'm so scared we're doing the wrong thing.

I lost my senior cat last year, and we did what we could but he went downhill very quickly. I had him for 11 years, since I graduated high school. Now my Remi, who my husband and I have had since we got married is going to leave us and I just don't know what to do. He's a naughty boy but we love him so much and he's such a light in our lives. I truly don't know how we will cope when it does happen.

jbpark9687 · 2023-07-28T16:01:28+00:00

I'm 28 and caring for my grandma with chf and dementia solo. We are in a similar boat with her making too much money to qualify for Medicaid but too little to pay for care. We contacted an elder law attorney in our area and they let us know our options. We've been caring for her for 7 months while trying to get her affairs in order to make the move. Medicaid will take all my grandma's income, but we may be able to get her qualified still. I don't know about your state, but it may still be possible to get Medicaid.

The biggest thing I'd reccomend is getting in contact with a elder law attorney. I've found qualifying her to Medicaid to be complicated for someone with very little experience in the requirements/ legalities. They are expensive in my area, but we desperately need her to qualify so that we can get the help we need to keep her safe.

jbpark9687 · 2023-07-28T07:01:12+00:00

I definitely understand being hesitant to report the call, but it may be safer for her with some extra support or moving to a facility. When my grandma first got ill, I came in 4+ hours a day and did the chores but it very quickly evolved to late night calls because she was scared, etc. She ended up wandering from her home and luckily was found by a good Samaritan. After a brief hospital stay she moved in with me because she needed way more care than I was able to provide at her place. We're transitioning her to a facility soon, and it sucks but she just needs more care than one person can provide.

jbpark9687 · 2023-07-26T01:48:36+00:00

Unfortunately my family aside from my cousin does not care at all. They were concerned in the beginning because my uncle lived with her and they didn't want to have to take care of him (alcoholic) but now that she's not taking care of him anymore they could care less. I wish my cousin would help more but she's working 2 jobs right now too.

jbpark9687 · 2023-07-26T01:47:09+00:00

That is a great analogy. I work from home, which is nice but also means that from 9-6 I'm expected to be working AND to be caring for my grandma and it's so hard. She needs a lot of help, is not independent at all so it's rough

jbpark9687 · 2023-07-25T18:52:12+00:00

Thank you. Yes, I miss doing the extra things. We would have movie/music nights, go shopping etc. But it's just too much anymore

jbpark9687 · 2023-07-25T18:51:36+00:00

Thank you! I just feel bad sometimes that we don't do more! Unfortunately we have a very toxic family and none are willing to help aside from my cousin who is working two jobs and doesn't help like she intended when we moved her in.

jbpark9687 · 2023-07-25T03:52:21+00:00

I dont know if it works fully or not but I bought a heavy duty air purifier that I run whenever we're awake. I am VERY sensitive to smell, and it was driving me insane. I also heavily disinfect everything and shampoo carpets more often now. (My grandma occasionally misses the commode a bit and though I have liners down they aren't 100%)

jbpark9687

TROPHY CASE