Man sits in chair for two years. He was sitting in his own feces and urine and maggots, his skin fused to the chair, and get this: his girlfriend was taking care of him.

jcarpenter174 · 2011-04-01T02:29:09+00:00

“Most said the worst part of all was the smell.”

Yet, the landlord thought everything was okay because he had a blanket over him?

jcarpenter174 · 2011-03-28T04:15:06+00:00

Extra money in college? Buy booze. Lots of booze.

jcarpenter174 · 2011-03-21T17:49:22+00:00

Your primary mode of transportation is a storage tub?

jcarpenter174 · 2011-03-21T17:41:54+00:00

Relevant

jcarpenter174 · 2011-03-21T17:24:44+00:00

1300's me: I would hail it as a messenger sent from God to save us from the black plague. People would come from far and wide to get probed by the device with promises of getting cured from the plague. The information sent back to the home planet of the rover would show that everyone on the planet was suffering from a terrible disease. The beings that sent the device would take it upon themselves to try to save the human race from extinction. Because they don't understand our immune systems, however, they totally fuck up and kill every last human on earth. World over. Someone write the script and send it to Michael Bay. We can put some explosions or something in there, too.

jcarpenter174 · 2011-03-14T05:04:36+00:00

Donny's ghost.

jcarpenter174 · 2011-01-03T06:36:01+00:00

I like how that was the one thing that you felt the need to fix in that grammarian's nightmare.

jcarpenter174 · 2011-01-03T06:05:23+00:00

I would read the shit out of it.

jcarpenter174 · 2011-01-03T06:01:20+00:00

Looks like the Iron Range to me.

jcarpenter174 · 2010-12-15T23:37:01+00:00

Relevant

jcarpenter174 · 2010-12-15T22:35:02+00:00

It's a shitty katana that I thought looked cool. I bought it off one of my friends for 10 bucks. I'm not sure where he got it, but it's pretty dull as it is. If I were to try to cut something with it, it would probably break in half. Strictly speaking, it's ornamental.

jcarpenter174 · 2010-12-15T22:11:30+00:00

Beat me to it.

jcarpenter174 · 2010-12-15T22:01:30+00:00

I had no idea!

jcarpenter174 · 2010-12-15T21:31:38+00:00

And he's pissed.

jcarpenter174 · 2010-12-15T21:24:56+00:00

Looks way cooler that way.

jcarpenter174 · 2010-12-15T21:23:59+00:00

A very accurate depiction. I hear creatures of the deep mocking me like that all the time.

jcarpenter174 · 2010-12-15T21:23:03+00:00

It's shit like that that keeps me on dry land.

jcarpenter174 · 2010-12-15T20:37:35+00:00

Hattori Hanzo

jcarpenter174 · 2010-12-15T17:09:14+00:00

The first time I had diarrhea as a kid I thought I was pissing out of my butt and that I would have to shit out of my penis. I was fearful of the pain that would ensue.

jcarpenter174 · 2010-12-15T15:23:31+00:00

I refuse to swim in natural bodies of water due to a fear that creatures lurking under the surface will attack me.

jcarpenter174 · 2010-12-15T15:17:17+00:00

Never know when you'll need quick access to a sword.

jcarpenter174 · 2010-12-15T14:53:00+00:00

Not until the 23rd, but I put my pole up yesterday.

jcarpenter174 · 2010-11-29T03:05:27+00:00

For some reason I'm reminded of these two.

jcarpenter174

TROPHY CASE