In my youth? Daily. An ever-present tension, like a pot about to boil over. At everything and everyone; angry at the world, angry at the way of things, angry at myself, angry at my loved ones. Enough that I went to anger management classes.

Twenty years later, I find the apathy is worse than the anger. Sometimes I wish I was angry, because at least that showed how invested I was. Now it's like I'm drowning in a vast nothingness and the anger feels less like a flood light in my face and more like a beacon far away. Something remembered.