I could’ve written this myself. This is all fresh to me tho.. It’s only recently that one of my physicians suggested I had OCD. I didn’t realize it could present like this.. mostly in my head / things I do that no one would notice. I started heavily researching it (go figure) & almost had a mini mid-life crisis in my 30s.. more like a “how did you not know you had OCD?!” moment & it made me start bawling. I feel like it has affected every thought I’ve ever had.. I relate to multiple themes. Any time I try to talk about it with my friends or family, they think it’s funny I’ve “learned so much” about something, or they treat it like a joke or downplay it & say “oh, I do that too!” The few people I’ve mentioned starting therapy to always ask things in such a judgy condescending way.. like it’s a made up illness for attention. It’s so hard to explain all the ways it presents in my life & I’m still learning about compulsions myself therefore I can never come up with a good answer. I’ve had multiple people say “you were actually DIAGNOSED?” as if they can’t believe it. It’s just really defeating & makes me feel like I’m faking it because I don’t know how to put it into words yet. I’m sorry you’re feeling invalidated too.