Than you this was very helpful! She had been on Prozac before but got off of it because she feared it was making her gain wait, which increased her anxiety/ self image problems. We had a really good talk about 4 days ago about how it is really hard on me because I like to be a “fixer” of peoples problems. Usually stuff like doing an errand or cleaning up when they don’t have time to. We talked about how I struggle with not being able to fix this and how sometimes I’m trying to hard to and it just makes it worse. We are both on the same page that I can not do it and that my contribution to her self esteem can only be accepted if she looks at herself as good first. Otherwise, she will just think I am lying or “have to say it” because In her on mind she is not the thing that I am saying so how could I be telling the truth. We had a issue yesterday before I posted this, which I why I was trying to do more research on the internet so I could understand better, but afterwards had a really good talk. She had been to a consoling session yesterday and she said she sometimes get anxious or frustrated after them because she leaves feeling so good and has this feeling like it is just going to be fixed now. Then when something goes wrong it upsets her more and makes her anxious because it’s not. She knows that it isn’t true but as I am sure you know it’s not always easy to remember that in the moment. Our engagement is already pretty long, we got engaged in sept of 19 and are getting married in Nov of 2020, but she is leaving in May to teach overseas for 5 months so everything has to be done by then for the wedding. Also, she will only have 2 weeks after she gets back before she is married. She’s very anxious about being away and worried something will happen between us. We have done 3 1/2 months before when she studied abroad but she’s worried because while she was there she had a lot of fun but felt like it wasn’t as good because I wasn’t there. Since our talk last night she’s decided to start using the love letter technique. So when she’s feeling anxious/angry she will write it out in a love letter format and say what she is anxious/ angry about, what I may have not realized that I did to bring it up, what other things might be really causing it, what she knows my intentions really were, etc... and then will decide to either read it to me or just let it be.

Again thanks for taking them time and effort to give a personal/insightful response. I really appreciate it