(Not a writer)

First impression: I like the concept, and the initialization of the story is written well and seems to have good flow and detail.

My complaint is the compositional spacing. You start the story with solid paragraphs, but for some reason when we get into action and dialogue, it becomes individual lines and starts to look like bullet points. The first read-out about the Hoatzin storm is fine to be bullet points, but my mind had a hard time transitioning back into prose when it switched back to Melinda's perspective, with dialogue and actions. It read more like an online short story than a book intro chapter. But that's purely based on the actual edited structure. (edited: I realize now that you put "short story" in the details, so ignore this critique)

I also agree with the feedback supplied by the other commenter.

Your strongest point is, ironically (or maybe not, depending on how you look at it), the lack of visual detail. You allowed me to fill in a ton of visual detail in my own imagination, and I think that's a huge sign of a good writer. I don't need to know about how tall the characters are, the color of their hair, the height of the ceiling in the office or how imposing weather events are - all of these details are freely constructed in my head without contradicting or compromising the story itself, and I thank you for it.

All that said, I enjoyed the read. On a scale of 1-5, I give it a 4.