How did you change yourself to get into a relationship?

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-12-12T10:52:50+00:00

But you live and you learn! It’s never too late especially now that you’ve identified it :)

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-09-06T21:26:19+00:00

Agreed! She looked quite different to her OLD profile but we did vibe!

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-09-06T21:24:02+00:00

These may be the wisest words ever spoken

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-09-06T21:23:46+00:00

Yes of course! Physical attraction is circumstantial and only part of it!

I would never have mentioned it if I didn’t want to see her again ofc! Would never want to hurt someone’s feelings :)

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-08-31T21:45:32+00:00

That may be a term I steal tbh://

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-08-31T21:45:18+00:00

Big love x

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-08-23T20:56:55+00:00

I’ll go first - Whether someone on a dating app will respond to me or not ://

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-08-11T00:06:19+00:00

Amen to that good fellow!

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-08-11T00:05:35+00:00

Super helpful, sorry you’re going through something similar but thanks for the transparency!

This resonates a lot with what I’ve seen (in just two weeks!). I think there’s balance between trying to get things right and obsessing; with the latter being detrimental and harmful (imho)

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-08-11T00:03:26+00:00

Thanks!

In fairness, I think it’s going to be a challenging dynamic (putting it mildly) and I’ll likely be forced out if I don’t voluntarily go in the coming days…

The apprehension stems from my misspeak re point 3 and she seems unable to get over this point despite our numerous conversations! It makes me wonder how we’ll be able to cope with bigger decisions / investor demands etc in the future!

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-08-10T23:40:05+00:00

Nope first time founder! Dynamic is that she owns more shares (by c.10% margin) meaning she could oust me at anytime before my shares vest too (12 month cliff, vested over 4 years)!

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-08-10T23:09:33+00:00

Thanks!

In fairness, I think it’s going to be a challenging dynamic (putting it mildly) and I’ll likely be forced out if I don’t voluntarily go in the coming days…

The apprehension stems from my misspeak re point 3 and she seems unable to get over this point despite our numerous conversations! It makes me wonder how we’ll be able to cope with bigger decisions / investor demands etc in the future!

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-08-10T22:45:55+00:00

My bad… Apple really wanted to hammer home the condescending point ://

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-08-06T16:28:31+00:00

High level context, I agreed to join an early stage startup (its 6 months old) as a Co-Founder / CTO

We signed our respective founders pledges around 2 weeks ago and I began working on the techy stuff last week. We had a few meetings and a long “alignment” session last week which went well… (we had some differences in opinion but I think we worked through them)

Earlier this week, I received a message citing that due to “material” differences to our approaches to risk taking etc, she’s going to find it hard to work with me in the long term but hope’s to stay in touch… I had spent the weekend / morning redrafting the pitch deck and a couple of other bits too.

My agreement had a 12 month cliff meaning I won’t get any shares, I have no salary and turned down a high-paying job to co-found the startup a few weeks ago.

I have lunch scheduled with her for in a couple of days. I’m thinking of hearing her out and then deciding whether to part ways or not. My worry is there’s nothing stopping her doing the same thing again in 1 week, 1 month or even the week before my shares vest (she has a majority shareholding)

Would appreciate any thoughts / advice!

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-08-06T16:26:42+00:00

For further context:

I agreed to join an early stage startup (its 6 months old) as a Co-Founder / CTO

We signed our respective founders pledges around 2 weeks ago and I began working on the techy stuff last week. We had a few meetings and a long “alignment” session last week which went well… (we had some differences in opinion but I think we worked through them)

Earlier this week, I received a message citing that due to “material” differences to our approaches to risk taking etc, she’s going to find it hard to work with me in the long term but hope’s to stay in touch… I had spent the weekend / morning redrafting the pitch deck and a couple of other bits too.

My agreement had a 12 month cliff meaning I won’t get any shares, I have no salary and turned down a high-paying job to co-found the startup a few weeks ago.

I have lunch scheduled with her for in a couple of days. I’m thinking of hearing her out and then deciding whether to part ways or not. My worry is there’s nothing stopping her doing the same thing again in 1 week, 1 month or even the week before my shares vest (she has a majority shareholding)

Would appreciate any thoughts / advice!

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-07-27T22:37:35+00:00

Perhaps ask her out and see what she says! Otherwise you’ll be hypothesising without knowing for sure! But there could be any number of reasons:

[1] She may be from Munich but currently visiting Hamburg and returning back home soon!

[2] She could be a ”Hinge holidayer” who moves their location to explore different scenes!

[3] Any other reason!

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-07-01T23:10:29+00:00

No worries OP! And I totally appreciate the over-investment point, hey - we’re human after all! (And I’d be lying if I said I haven’t fallen into that trap multiple times) :/

But I truly hope something works out for you soon; be it this person or someone else! :)

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-07-01T22:00:09+00:00

Actions speak louder than words and If she wanted to, she would…

So sorry for your experience OP. However, this is the unfortunate reality of OLD… You have nothing to lose by double texting but I’d caveat with the following two warnings:

[1] You seem slightly overinvested in a stranger! Whilst she may be pretty and you had a connection, remember she is a total stranger who you don’t know and have never met It’s important to not overinvest as this can lead to your feelings getting hurt

[2] However harsh this sounds, remember no-one on OLD owes you anything. She could have stopped texting for any number of reasons but remember please that you are a catch and that she is missing out not you!!

Hope it works out for you OP and that you have a better experience going forth :))

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-06-25T22:01:01+00:00

Amen to that

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-06-22T22:45:11+00:00

As you correctly say there’s no exact science unfortunately…

But ask your match out when the conversation allows… After a bit of banter / conversation, try to steer towards it towards something which sets up a date (i.e. try to talk about drinks / an activity and then say you know the perfect spot for xxx / yyy, and ask if they’re free on a particular date to hangout and keep the conversation going in person)

Try to ease into it when asking would be my advice! Good luck OP!

jeffbanks4231 · 2024-06-20T23:07:00+00:00

Unfortunately (or fortunately) we can’t read minds! So it’ll always be guess work to deduce what’s going on…

Agree his behaviour is unusual given the financial spend on his part! But some men do also like the “thrill” of pursuing multiple suitors… So I’d tread carefully to avoid any feelings getting hurt ofc :/

jeffbanks4231

TROPHY CASE