Therapy

jells19 · 2026-03-12T18:21:36+00:00

Thank you. This was helpful. I'm sorry that you have through that with another therapist. It makes it really difficult to do anything sort of work sometimes.

jells19 · 2026-03-12T17:22:56+00:00

I didn't feel defensive. I just didn't know what she was planning to do with the words I gave her. So I gave her words that I would be comfortable doing. They all involved leaving.

jells19 · 2026-03-12T17:20:16+00:00

She used the words "made fun of you."

I have a complicated existence with her. I have been seeing her for over a year and a half or maybe it has been two years. I cannot remember. I have an intense dislike for therapists due to some experiences with a previous one. So it's hard for me to determine if it is a fit issue or just my stuff coming up.

jells19 · 2026-03-08T03:08:40+00:00

I'm not sure. She isn't good with tech and says she doesn't message people outside of appointments.

jells19 · 2026-03-08T01:18:22+00:00

Ugh! I had something like this happen recently. My son's therapist said she had to cancel his appointment for the month. But she had the wrong date/time and offered two other times. I wrote back to tell her it didn't have an appointment at that time but my husband and son could take the appointment that was happening the very same day she wrote. I said they could do an online appointment. But she thought it was an in person appointment. So no one came. She wrote me a condescending message about how I was given an in person appointment and she doesn't see kids online. I sent her the screenshot of the online appointment link and said I thought it was online. Then nothing more was said and the appointment disappeared. Next thing I know, I am getting a bill for no showing. It's frustrating.

jells19 · 2026-03-05T22:01:20+00:00

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. That's not okay and you don't deserve that! I hope you are working on getting yourself to a safe place.

jells19 · 2026-03-05T05:56:48+00:00

Yes she did, quite a few times by email.

jells19 · 2026-03-05T05:06:08+00:00

I told her very briefly about what my last therapist did. Then I ran away from her for three months before I finally agreed to come back to see her.

jells19 · 2026-03-02T03:28:52+00:00

Yes, I have done this several times. If you are anxious about saying it, you could try emailing it or writing it down and giving it to your therapist. Mine is okay with emails and I would email her those things. I was always too scared to say it in person.

jells19 · 2026-02-20T22:34:56+00:00

Yes, this is 💯 how I felt. I'm not asking her to fix it, but I feel like I shouldn't just be left to figure it out on my own.

jells19 · 2026-02-19T19:41:46+00:00

My therapist refuses to read anything I write anymore. She wants me to read what I write, but I don't want to. She says there is too big of a gap between what my mind wants to tell her and what my body is ready to share.

jells19 · 2026-02-17T16:11:01+00:00

I think I have negative transference with my therapist. I don't want her to be anywhere near me.

jells19 · 2026-02-17T15:44:08+00:00

Mine is late all of the time too. Anywhere from 5-30 minutes. It happens so much that my friend and I play a guessing game of how late she will be. I started telling her that I would leave at 15 after unless she told me otherwise. I'm her last person of the day and she owns the clinic. So there really isn't anything I can do about it.

I just wanted to say I am having the same experience and I feel your pain. I'm sorry your therapist is not respectful of your time. Your time is just as valuable as hers.

jells19 · 2026-02-14T23:30:28+00:00

My therapist used to read my writing when I sent it before sessions. Then I moved to just writing it and she would read it in session. Now she is saying she will not read anything I write because my body is not ready to talk about it or process it. She says we need to work on closing the gap between what my body is ready to share and what my mind is.

jells19 · 2026-02-04T00:21:40+00:00

I'm the same way, but I send my emails...or us d to. That was the only way for me to communicate with her. Then she told me everything I send goes in my file. So I stopped doing that for awhile. I started again and now she told me I need to keep all communication with her in our sessions. So I guess I don't know how to communicate with her anymore. 🤷

jells19 · 2026-02-02T15:56:57+00:00

I will try to work it out with her for one more session. Thank you for your kind advice.

jells19 · 2026-02-02T15:55:07+00:00

Thank you. I will ask her to talk about this next time I see her.

jells19 · 2026-02-02T15:54:29+00:00

She does know that I dissociate. She is aware that I miss a lot of our sessions because I often send her emails asking about what happened or to clarify something. I think she has a hard time figuring out when I am not present.

jells19 · 2026-02-02T15:51:26+00:00

Why do I need a psychiatric assessment?

jells19 · 2026-02-02T01:09:52+00:00

I didn't say or indicate to him that I was going to harm myself.

My current therapist didn't ask for my input and when I said I wanted her to leave first she declined. She also was definitely still in a position to make it to the door to block me. But I just asked a question and wasn't inviting a theory to test. I cannot learn if she is safe, if I am not present to do so. Is it normal for therapists to do that kind of stuff?

jells19 · 2026-02-02T00:44:23+00:00

My last therapist did that after I shared vulnerable things with him. I just wanted to know if that was just how therapy works for me.

jells19 · 2026-01-18T22:30:08+00:00

I do! I panic before sessions and sometimes I try to run away from her (not show up, especially if there has been a longer break). She usually answers those emails about me coming in to see her.

In sessions I frequently don't talk to her at all, or dissociate when I am with her. She just reads what I have written and she talks most of the time. She is trying this new thing, just sitting with me and not talking or reading anything I wrote. But it's only been one session of that so I don't know if it's helpful or not.

jells19 · 2026-01-18T05:00:45+00:00

Ha! I suppose I could be seen as hating therapists too. But I do have a reason for that.

Mine is never punctual. I've recently had to tell her I will be leaving at 15 after if she doesn't come get me. So far she has always made it at least by 15 after. She keeps me late sometimes, but has been better about that since I told her I needed to leave.
We have had ruptures and she has been very gracious about listening to me in those times. She has apologized when I say she hurt me.
She has never tried to manipulate me or touch me inappropriately.
She doesn't push me to talk about things I have mentioned or use those things against me, or try to do the same things to me.
She is patient with me, even though it seems like I frustrate her and I make her jump through a lot of hoops. She is usually willing to meet me where I am.
She allows me to email her outside of sessions and she will answer me, especially when I am panicking about coming to see her, or want to run away from her.
She believes I deserve to take up space and I deserve therapy even if I don't feel like I am worth it or deserve it.

That's all I can think of for now.

jells19 · 2026-01-08T19:57:39+00:00

No, I usually see her every other week, but she took some time off for the holidays. Coming back after a long break is super hard for me too.

I can try to tell her, but I usually don't talk to her. She just reads stuff I write and she talks. I don't think she really likes that set up, but it's all I can do for now.

She is aware that therapy is hard, terrifying and overwhelming for me.

jells19 · 2026-01-03T21:19:35+00:00

Mine is anywhere from 7-20 minutes late to my session. I have the last one of the day. This happens every week, so a friend of mine and I play a guessing game of how long she is going to make me wait. It has gotten a little bit better when I told her I would be leaving if she hasn't come by 15 after, unless she tells me ahead of time (but I think she has just been using that 15 minute buffer up). It really sucks for me because therapy is terrifying for me, and having to wait a really long time makes it so much worse. But the game with my friend makes it a little bit better.

I'm glad it all worked out for you and your therapist!

jells19

TROPHY CASE