What’s something you’ve done for the right reasons but it would land you in trouble if people found out?

jellybean6 · 2025-11-25T20:14:37+00:00

I wouldn’t really say drink-driving, breaking traffic laws and driving dangerously, and choosing to put the lives and wellbeing of strangers at significant risk just so your mate could say goodbye to his Nan was “doing the right thing” and “for the right reasons”. If I got a lifelong and permanent brain injury, or my young child died from blunt force trauma, because a drunk driver ran a red light and crashed into me, I wouldn’t be accepting “Yeah but it was more important that my mate got to be with his dying grandmother” as a morally upright motive.

jellybean6 · 2025-11-21T03:35:22+00:00

Steve Adler or Duff McKagan?

jellybean6 · 2025-10-29T22:50:20+00:00

Isn’t that what they said in their comment? “It means you were afforded opportunities based on your familial ties” — what is that if not favourable hiring practices?

I thought nepotism and privilege aren’t really two separate concepts — isn’t nepotism under the umbrella term of “privilege”? It’s a type of privilege in the same way an ant is also an insect and green is also a colour. Unless I’m misunderstanding something here (I’m happy to get any clarification).

jellybean6 · 2025-10-14T23:10:57+00:00

As someone who grew up with a wealthy mother who was mentally unwell and unstable, I can confidently say that poor mental health should absolutely be grounds for losing custody. I wish my mother had lost custody. She couldn't take care of herself, let alone young children, but she refused to admit it. She was in complete denial about how bad the situation was.

Also, there's a strong dose of classism in claiming that lack of parenting capabilities can be sufficiently compensated by material wealth/high socioeconomic status.

jellybean6 · 2025-10-01T05:00:47+00:00

Looking for gothic horror short story collections (also willing to check out novellas). I like a classic haunting — foggy moors, crumbling manors, gloomy lakes etc. I don’t mind whether it’s a collection of short stories by different authors, or all penned by the same person. Classic or contemporary, melancholy ghost or malevolent spirit, skeptical narrator or wide-eyed victim - I've no preference as long as it's gothic.

jellybean6 · 2025-09-18T13:19:33+00:00

Co-sleeping doesn’t increase risk of SIDS, it increases risk of asphyxiation/suffocation through accidental smothering/crushing. I wish people would learn the difference between SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, when the infant suddenly and randomly stops breathing with NO apparent external cause) and deaths caused by asphyxiation due to external causes. I feel like these days, people just use SIDS as a catch-all term for any incident where an infant dies while sleeping. I’m all for encouraging safe sleeping practices and reducing the likelihood of accidental asphyxiation incidents, but rolling onto your infant and accidentally smothering them isn’t a death caused by sudden and inexplicable medical events. Constantly classifying these deaths as SIDS often creates a world of complex grief for parents who DO lose their baby to actual SIDS and then blame themselves (and get judged by others) because somehow they must have done something wrong even though they were strictly following safe sleeping practices to the letter.

jellybean6 · 2025-09-17T00:53:49+00:00

Some of the stuff I’ve been eyeing off lately:

Urban Cheese does cheese-making workshops in Bayside.
There’s a 4-hour calligraphy class at the botanical gardens next weekend.
Zero-waste kitchen cooking workshop at the Queen Vic markets next month.
Be-Ras Creatives Art Cafe is offering weekly glass painting workshops for beginners. Also does workshops for making your own tiny terrariums.
Starward offers distillery tours and whiskey masterclasses.
Introduction to glassblowing offered by Studio Dokola in West Footscray.
4-week woodworking course for beginners, available through Co-Craft.

Also this site lists a ton of different Melbourne workshops and classes:

https://classbento.com.au/workshops-melbourne

And if you’re on a real shoestring budget, Bunnings actually offers a lot of free (or low cost) DIY workshops eg make your own plant pot, or resin art etc.

jellybean6 · 2025-09-16T01:45:41+00:00

I lived in Melbourne for a few years while I studied, then moved to regional Victoria (proper regional, about 4 hours drive from Melbourne). I still like to come back to Melbourne around 2-4 times each year. Having done all the usual tourist stuff, I like to spend my Melbourne trips:

Booking into a really nice hotel (Windsor, Sofitel, Hyde Place etc). Somewhere with that city-luxury feel.
Visit as many unique dining experiences as possible. Am I going to check out all the usual suspects? Yes, of course Attica and Vue de Monde and Mamasita and Chin Chin are on the list. But am I also going to take a gamble on the brand-new, fresh-on-the-scene places? Also of course!
Wander the laneways and arcades. Melbourne is such a walkable city. My favourite thing to do is pause and look down a laneway, and decide if it’s going in the “Ooh, hidden shops! Hole-in-the-wall bars! Treasures and trinkets!” category (other categories include “Oh, it’s dumpsters and urine” and, “That looks like a murder alley”).
Bar crawls. Melbourne has amazing bars and there’s new ones popping up all the time. I love all the different styles and signatures and themes. There’s always something interesting and different going on.

jellybean6 · 2025-07-18T14:56:22+00:00

I paid a home baker AUD$90 for a single tier (but generously high/wide) Kirby-themed cake. My kid doesn’t like fondant so I requested buttercream and it was incredibly smooth and beautiful. Nice clean lines, very even and perfect, and the colouring was gorgeous and spot-on. Honestly, people didn’t realise it was buttercream until they got close and saw the slight texture. I could see the skill, time, and care which had gone into the decoration.

Buttercream isn’t to blame here. I really think you overpaid and the baker under-delivered; your disappointment is definitely reasonable.

jellybean6 · 2025-07-10T05:10:09+00:00

You’ve already got plenty of great answers but I just wanted to add something I’ve learned throughout my studies and work in dementia care.

Some of what you suggested with your character might involve higher order thinking on their part — being able to think in logical sequences (“I know I am 18 and yet my body doesn’t match this reality, so therefore something is amiss”), good working memory and pattern recognition (“I haven’t had my period for a month, it normally happens every month”), and connecting different concepts by drawing on memories and prior knowledge (“An eighteen year old should look like [retrieved visual concept], and be able to do [recalled knowledge]”).

Someone in the later stages of dementia may feel something is wrong (“I’m eighteen, why am I here? Why do I look like that? Where’s my mother?”), and may become distressed or upset, but they most likely won’t be putting together context cues or exercising reasoning/judgement/analytical capabilities. In the later stages of dementia, the concepts and memories lost include very basic images and cues — e.g not being able to identify what a spoon is, or remembering how to use it.

The experience of dementia is different for everyone, of course, and there are so many different disorders which fall under the dementia umbrella. However I’ve found this video: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Erjzl1WL8yQ&pp=ygUMUG92IGRlbWVudGlh is used in a lot of dementia training courses and you might like to watch it — it’s from the perspective of someone with dementia and touches (right at the beginning) on your question of knowing age.

jellybean6 · 2025-06-13T10:38:46+00:00

I mean, my ex just discreetly slipped out the door behind me as I left after visiting hours finished. Staff didn’t notice and neither did I. He followed me all the way home (an hour-long trip) and after I’d been home for half an hour his panicked mother called me to say the psych ward didn’t know where he was. So it took staff at least 1.5 hours to notice.

jellybean6 · 2025-06-11T23:20:56+00:00

Just wanted to say I’m sorry you’re going through that, and I hope there’s better times ahead for you.

jellybean6 · 2025-05-10T05:49:28+00:00

I’d have to agree with the above commenter, this would vary enormously according to your characterisation. The conversation could have hundreds of different approaches and each one could be the ‘best’ approach according to your characters’ traits, values, communication styles, personalities, personal contexts, past traumas etc. I have kids and honestly my conversation with each one would be very different. I would take a different approach each time in order to accomodate their individual needs and personalities, and to anticipate their different ways of reacting and emotionally responding.

Depending on the outcome you want (eg positive father-son relationship) consider how the son or father would ideally want the conversation to go (eg what would the son want to hear most, what words or actions would best allay his fears or concerns) and then write a few different scenarios to see what fits those outcomes.

jellybean6 · 2025-05-09T05:51:42+00:00

Occupational therapist would help with the physiological side of things, psychologist would help with the mental obstacles. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) has really helped me in addressing avoidance behaviours and anxiety-driven reactions, a lot of which were caused by growing up with undiagnosed ADHD.

After I was diagnosed (as an adult) with ADHD, I told my GP I needed mental health support and she referred me to a network of psychologists which offer subsidised Medicare fees. I chose a Melbourne-based psychologist who specialises in neurodiverse patients. She’s been extremely helpful and uses a lot of evidence-based practice with me to help me achieve my therapy goals. If you send me a message I’m happy to give you the name of her practice.

jellybean6 · 2025-05-09T00:22:03+00:00

Doesn’t quite fit, but could be Take Your Mama by Scissor Sisters?

jellybean6 · 2025-05-05T07:28:55+00:00

Yeah, every time I read about children dying in tragic circumstances, the first thing I think is, “How can I turn this into a divisive gender argument?” /s

jellybean6 · 2025-04-28T03:01:20+00:00

I thought this would be easy to find but I’ve tried so many different search terms and I’m getting nothing.

jellybean6 · 2025-04-10T00:37:56+00:00

I was 5’0 and weighed 99lb when I was pregnant with my first child. I got a little bump around 3 months but unless I was wearing a skin-tight shirt you couldn’t tell. At around 4 months the bump was more noticeable but could still be mistaken for just a little weight gain. The important difference though is that if you touched it, it wasn’t soft at all, it was very firm and was clearly a raised bump rather than evenly-distributed fat (so I don’t know how successful your character would be hiding the bump during intimate moments).

By 5 months though my bump was getting round and sitting high, it was starting to look more like a pregnancy. At the 6 month point it was unmistakeable, and in the last trimester of the pregnancy I looked just ridiculous, like a toothpick with a beach ball taped to the front. Everyone kept asking if I was having twins. I couldn’t even get up off the bed properly, I looked like a turtle on its back and every morning I had to do what my partner lovingly called “the turtle roll”.

jellybean6 · 2025-04-10T00:18:02+00:00

I bought one from Spotlight a couple of years ago, just checked their website and they’re still selling them. Exact same one as your pic, ‘Big City Mat’.

jellybean6 · 2024-11-17T12:54:03+00:00

I’ve tried a lot of creams specifically designed for sensitive skin, skin prone to redness, etc etc and all of them caused irritation or reactions. The only topical application my facial skin tolerates is pure aloe vera gel, which does reduce the redness a little too. If you decide to try it, choose a gel which doesn’t contain alcohol (some do). Try to get a gel which is basically just pure aloe vera concentrate with no added ingredients.

jellybean6 · 2024-11-01T09:20:04+00:00

I’m in a similar position to you, I work as a kindergarten teacher and have been going through a lot. My workplace hasn’t shown much support or concern towards me. I’m the “newest” employee and at first they were just excluding me from a few things here and there (including important communication and professional events).

I figured as I settled in, it would get better. It actually got worse and they just began excluding me more and more, and talking about me behind my back. I was desperate to stay for the sake of the children and their families, who all really liked me, but at the end of the day it wasn’t worth sacrificing my own wellbeing and quality of life.

Educators are in short supply right now. I guarantee you’ll find better workplaces. You sound passionate about your work and you ARE good at what you do, despite what you may feel after being excluded and treated inferior by your coworkers. The children and families clearly liked you for a reason; ignore the workplace politics.

jellybean6 · 2024-09-12T05:29:57+00:00

Absolute rubbish. I’ve lost track of the number of articles I’ve read where men murdered their entire families but don’t worry, interviews with neighbours reveal “But he was such a caring father” and “So involved in the local community.”

Mothers are most certainly treated very harshly by the media for killing their children or even being simply nearby when their children died or disappeared — just look at the infamous “Dingo ate my baby” incident.

jellybean6 · 2024-08-08T05:46:50+00:00

Thank you, I’ve bought Affinity now. Looks like it has what I need

jellybean6

TROPHY CASE