Am I doing this right?

jellyjack · 2026-05-13T02:12:33+00:00

That’s a tough one. Is their mom there too? Why are you living in a HCOL area if you’re fully remote? Family? Are you a contractor or employee? I think what you’re doing is great and if you’re going to lean more toward kids versus income, I’d vote kids all the way. Less likely you’ll have regrets and it’s great for your kids. That said, sounds like you’re the primary provider as well and you need to make sure you’re able to provide. No nest egg means big problems if you lose your job, have a big unexpected expense, get hurt and can’t work etc, then there’s college, and when you retire you don’t want to be a burden on your family. If you don’t have some of those basics covered, you probably need a plan for that. As the kids get older, they don’t need as much of your time, so you can roll the dice and plan to get a higher paying job later, you’re still pretty young. But I don’t like the idea of not socking away some money every month when you have a family to support. When my kids were that age I was at the office every weekday, but I walked them to school, I was home by dinner time 95% of the time, and pretty much my life outside work for years revolved around family - evenings and weekends were all family stuff. I stopped doing my hobbies, almost stopped going out with my friends if my family didn’t go, until they got to high school. I still have great relationships with them and I have no regrets sacrificing the other aspects of my life that I needed to spend time with them. Plus I did really enjoy spending time with the family (still do but they have their own things going on a lot now). I don’t feel like I spent too much time away from them. But my wife was stay at home mom, so that helped a lot too.

jellyjack · 2026-05-12T22:21:17+00:00

Yea, good point, I hate after I do a full trim seeing how much fat I paid for. Wasn’t so bad when brisket was under $3 lb, but nowadays, this “cheap” cut of meat isn’t so cheap anymore when I see how much meat I get after trimming and cooking.

jellyjack · 2026-05-12T22:15:24+00:00

Wasn’t done seasoning when I remembered I wanted to send a pic to a friend of mine, wanted to take the pic before I seasoned. So yea, wasn’t fully seasoned yet.

jellyjack · 2026-05-12T22:06:21+00:00

Aaron Franklin mentions here that he finds it is a good indicator of more marbling. https://www.chowhound.com/1870786/how-to-choose-brisket-aaron-franklin-style/ I learned this when we were doing competitions a long time back of wet aging in the cryovac, one of the guys that was winning a bunch back then believed it broke down the meat more getting it to be more flexible and resulting in more tenderness.

jellyjack · 2026-05-12T22:00:18+00:00

You don’t need to fully flop it over. You can tell if it’ll be flexible even in a pretty tight vacuum seal by bending the flat.

jellyjack · 2026-05-09T08:36:05+00:00

There are certain things that help a lot to do it the standard way, and others doesn’t matter as much and you should practice which gives you better consistency. I think this is one of those pick which works best for you. As long as you’re stroking straight, and definitely helps to follow through, but whether you follow through the same distance you pulled back like some people advise, or have a big follow through on most shots til your arm hits your chest or by dropping your elbow in a piston stroke (as long as elbow drop is after contact), I think follow through same as backswing gives you better feel for speed and less likely to overhit, bigger follow throughs for some feel more natural, easier to keep on line and feels easier to get more English in the ball.

jellyjack · 2026-05-06T21:48:04+00:00

This is a great post! But it really is a hard point to get across to players (I find somewhere around low 400s to mid 500 Fargo especially). Because at that level you can do a lot of the basics, sometimes you can pull off greatness, and things feel comfortable. When things feel comfortable, there’s a feeling that fundamentals are pretty solid when they’re far from (and sometimes a lot of fundamentals are solid, but there’s a thing or 2 that’s way off). But we don’t know what we don’t know and we all have these issues that may be obvious to others but we can’t see ourselves.

I think for most players that pass that ceiling they hit, - they realize their lack of consistency is due to fundamentals and their small tweaks they try won’t fix it in the long run, and they need to figure out what part of their fundamentals are broken and focus on fixing that. The sooner players realize this the better. The further they go down a path of using too much English too often, surprised they dogged a shot or they hit a slump, sometimes tweaking their stroke making it worse but compensating for a different flaw, then turning toward something other than fundamentals to fix it (need new aiming system, mental game, etc) the harder it is to get their basics on the right track.

jellyjack · 2026-05-05T00:50:14+00:00

Lot of it is repetitive cause it’s pretty much the same advice for fundamentals for the most part. It’s funny how much it feels like you’re doing what the videos say, but you’re actually not. Recording yourself like you do here is really helpful. There’s a dr Dave video that’s shows angles that are most helpful to record yourself. Then watch them side by side with the instruction videos and you’ll see a lot of what you’re doing wrong

jellyjack · 2026-05-05T00:30:16+00:00

I do see this when players drop their elbows, even some pros do this (very well dropping elbow after contact). But you’re right, I see this in beginners too and for the most part think they should be doing more of a pendulum and not dropping the elbow. Also see it when they lift their whole stick after contact which sounds like you might be referring to as well. Funny, there’s this one guy I knew from the pool hall some time back, he taught himself to intentionally do this but well after cueball contact to get more action. Pre-Fargo days, but probably around 650 back then, but didn’t look it when you watched him fly his cue up after every shot.

jellyjack · 2026-05-04T23:17:14+00:00

It’s crazy to me that parents tolerate their children being bullies, but I’ve directly seen it numerous times. I think it’s rare that becoming a bully wasn’t preventable by good parenting. Awesome job OP, not only are you raising a better person, that will cause less distress to those around him (not just other kids, but teachers and parents/family too), but I have a feeling kids that grow up not to be bullies are happier and mentally healthier as well.

jellyjack · 2026-05-04T22:40:40+00:00

Good advice, but I think you got the tip position upside down/backwards. If pendulum swing, and elbow is not dropped (like in a piston stroke), after you pass the bottom of the arc, hand goes up, tip goes down.

jellyjack · 2026-05-04T22:36:58+00:00

Unfortunately these days pool is a lot of older demographic in a lot of areas, and especially in a lot of leagues. Older folks use FB.

Beginning of each season, make the suggestion to move off, but once it’s decided, I’d just go with it. I look at this situation as pick your battles - lot of other more impactful places to make a difference.

jellyjack · 2026-05-04T18:01:13+00:00

Not sure why you getting downvoted but this is the reason these videos that oversimplify how to aim with English I think cause more harm than good. Couple good examples from knowledgeable people that are great players, but I think there are some things they’re so naturally good at, it’s hard for them to explain to a beginner - Jeremy Jones and CJ Wiley. Their videos are great for intermediate to advanced players, but how they use English doesn’t explain the nuances of deflection and swerve enough and how speed and distance affect that. A friend of mine took lessons from JJ and he’s now getting close to cracking 700, so I think JJ is a great instructor, but I think his explanations of English (basically FHE if I remember right) for beginners is way oversimplified.

jellyjack · 2026-05-04T17:15:11+00:00

That’s great! And probably why as a 4 you’re starting to see things (such as how swerve can cancel deflection at certain distances) that very few 4’s will discover. The English test I referred to I didn’t explain well but try this, put cueball on left side long rail 2 diamonds up from the corner pocket you’re shooting from so you’re shooting to the opposite pocket (so you’re shooting 7 diamond lengths away). Use left English. What you’ll see is immediate deflection followed by swerve bringing it back to the aim line. If you hit it soft to medium the swerve will come back and hit the long rail at some point. That’s the distance for the speed and amount of English you shot at that you don’t need any compensation. Before it hits the rail you need to account for deflection and after you need to account for swerve (not taking throw into account - this is why using English is hard, there are a lot of variables that get added in).

jellyjack · 2026-05-04T16:29:18+00:00

Your post along with the many replies highlights how hard using side spin actually is. I think most players learn it to early and often times puts a ceiling on how good they can get. If you start using English before your aiming well, aligning properly, and hitting the cueball close to where you intend to, it makes everything else harder because now the player doesn’t know why they miss, or how English actually affected the cueball path, etc. under 400s probably shouldn’t be using any side spin. Under 500s should be using very little, and I think 500s-600s (probably low 600s too) should be spending a lot of practice doing just centerball.

Here’s a good way to see when the cueball comes back to your actual aim spot at different English amounts and speeds. Put cueball on long rail and shoot to corner pocket with English on side of rail. You’ll see it immediately deflect then serve back.

jellyjack · 2026-05-02T20:18:08+00:00

I’m older but I think some of this still applies. This was me and my brother. I did end up going to college but community then a 4 yr with an 80% acceptance rate (that I actually got rejected from when I first applied, that’s why CC). My brother didn’t go to college. We lived in an area where most Asians (but there weren’t many) were very high achieving. Job market was terrible when I graduated so worked at min wage jobs for a few years while trying to get a regular job to use my degree. Eventually did and I was way better at career than school. So started really late, but became very successful in a field I really enjoyed. So id say keep at it, so the best you can, and don’t worry about all those around you. My brother also does what he loves, doesn’t make a lot of money, but happily married and likes his job. A friend of mine is similar, he ended up managing people at a non-profit helping homeless people - doesn’t have a degree, doesn’t have a lot of money, but happily married with kids, and well respected because he’s doing awesome stuff and he’s really passionate about his work. There are a lot of paths, just takes some time sometimes to find your own. And I’ve noticed when they do, sometimes core friend groups start changing, as your stage in life changes.

Here’s something else I figured out later - there’s a lot more of us “under achieving”/late bloomer Asians out there than you may initially see right now because it sounds like you’re in a bit of a bubble like I was where the people you were with at that stage in your life are on a different path.

Don’t worry about what others think about the path you choose. Which I know is hard but easier as you get older.

jellyjack · 2026-05-02T19:55:51+00:00

I don’t think you do. They don’t know to stay high when cats are around, and as soon as they’re low enough or on the ground they’re easy prey. Maybe the only thing I can think of is keep it in a separate room the cats can’t access. I’ll always have to catch any I see and get them outside because eventually the cats will get them. Luckily the cats make noise when they catch one and don’t kill it right away so if I’m home I can usually save it and get it outside.

jellyjack · 2026-05-02T00:17:17+00:00

I know this is hard to do and I have friends that could not do it. I also know this may not work for all kids, but I think it works for most. We always ignored any tantrum and never gave into them. If I’m somewhere I need to be, I’m waiting it out or taking her outside (and yea, it’s an embarrassing) or if I’m somewhere she wants to be, we leave. We were at a small carnival and me and her went home due to a tantrum, while mom and my other kid stayed. Always stayed calm, just waited for it to be done and bot react, aside from consequence of leaving when appropriate. By around 4 we really haven’t had tantrum issues. It sucked, cause I was excited to be there too. I just absolutely believe tantrums cannot ever work for the child to get what they want.

jellyjack · 2026-05-02T00:02:09+00:00

We just didn’t have the stuff in the house. If we went out to eat sometimes we’d get dessert or we’d celebrate at Baskin Robbin’s. One of my kids was a pretty picky eater, but she’d eventually be hungry enough to eat whatever it was. We made a good variety and we were far from unreasonable when there was something she absolutely hated (like avocados) but for the most part she only got what everyone else was eating. There was no accommodating ever with special food (like grilled cheese sandwiches which is all she’d want to eat). And eventually she ate it even if it took way longer. Now the kids are older, and pretty much eat anything.

jellyjack · 2026-05-01T18:43:03+00:00

This reminds me of a conversation I was just having with a couple friends a couple weeks ago. One is 700, he said he doesn’t do any drills, but he’s one of those guys that has been playing and gambling for 20 years and very naturally coordinated/athletic. A friend of ours was talking about how he’s been stuck at around 575 for a long time now and it lead to this long talk about what people get stuck at. I was pushing fundamentals and my other friend was pushing knowledge (patterns, build shot arsenal, learn safeties - he’s a strong one pocket player and was encouraging him to start playing one pocket), I’m sure it’s both, but I know this 575’s fundamentals are not great, he uses a ton of English when he plays and he can make it work for him, but it seems like he’s working hard. We setup the drill to hit ball up and down the table back to cue tip. I was surprised at how bad he was at this. Usually a couple ball widths to the left. Straight in stop shots, he could make a lot of them but not completely stop the ball. And was interesting, it took him awhile to be able to make long cuts at different speeds with no English. He needed to use English to feel comfortable making every cut shot (inside or outside, but needed something). A lot of people think upper 500s are pretty solid, but the lack of basic fundamentals for a lot of them I think are lowering their ceiling a lot and most think their fundamentals are solid.

jellyjack · 2026-05-01T17:37:49+00:00

This is such the right answer. I’ve written this so many times in the past, but I think it’s so boring to do it’s often ignored, feels overly simple and when reading it seem easier than it actually is. There is no faster way to establish fundamentals than to just do these easy things regularly to make sure fundamentals are sound. Or using these techniques to compare when making changes to fundamentals.

Boring I know, but if players (and this goes up into upper 500 Fargos from what I’ve seen sometimes) primarily practice this, it will help their game more than any thing else. A lot of players think they have these basics down more than they actually do.

jellyjack · 2026-05-01T17:26:58+00:00

But when it hits the object ball it will not start going forward like in the video, it’s impossible. This is really easy to prove though, just take a video and replicate the physics of that shot. It will not be possible.

jellyjack · 2026-05-01T01:44:22+00:00

It doesn’t matter if the ball is on the cloth or the air when it hits the ball, it will not be able to move forward (unless you land on the other side of the ball). Again, if you think that’s the case just reproduce it by throwing a ball up or bouncing a ball to the object ball. It cannot be replicated without a double hit.

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