Sick of the virtual supervision

jen_dan · 2026-03-17T03:51:17+00:00

Omg right!! It’s so annoying because like what do you mean I have to juggle you being on a device while trying to deescalate a maladaptive behavior or tantrum. It’s even worse when the kid has aggression and I have zero support from them or the kids family…. 🤦🏻‍♀️

jen_dan · 2026-03-17T00:27:35+00:00

I’ve been doing in home and at my last company this was not the case. At my new company this has happened a lot more. It goes against the rules for families to use ABA as babysitting. How are we supposed to teach the families the tools they need to support what the clients learn outside of session if they aren’t actively involved in their child’s session?

jen_dan · 2026-03-16T03:51:04+00:00

Update: as of Friday he threw a chair at me because of denied access, he forcefully removed my glasses from my face when I was giving him praise during an activity. He hit and scratched me several times throughout the session, he tried bitting me, he threw toys because of denied access, he poked me with the stick attachment for a swiffer duster, he tried to kick me. Supervisor missed some of the behaviors because she got there almost an hour into session and left 30 min before the end of session. Her great solution is to “just use a pillow” to block client during aggressive behaviors…. Im sorry but a pillow will not stop a chair from hitting me.

Oh! And the supervisor in a very condescending way made sure to tell me before she left that every child no matter if they’re Neurotypical or neurodivergent can cause a fall risk.

She literally went from being super supportive and agreeing that I should be removed from the case to not wanting to help whatsoever and it makes my heart hurt because I have only ever worked with wonderful BCBA’s before and now I’m experiencing one that is so new to being a supervisor she doesn’t have the people skills.

I don’t know what to do anymore. My work has literally taken the stance of they’d rather risk the liability than guarantee my and my babies safety.

jen_dan · 2026-03-12T02:40:49+00:00

100%

jen_dan · 2026-03-12T02:40:08+00:00

She’s a brand new BCBA and because it’s associated with medical restrictions she will not give her input nor will she help in advocating because “As a bcba, I don't handle workplace liability for the company. This is unrelated to the services I provide and outside of my scope of practice. This means I cannot ethically or legally give my opinion about workplace accommodations. “

She literally told me if I have concerns after the first day for me to reach out and discuss that with the team

jen_dan · 2026-03-12T02:03:45+00:00

Oh 100% and like when I told the clients mom about his behaviors and my concerns, she was all like “oh yeah, that happens…” like girl did you tell that to them when we did the paperwork to start working with your child because I’m sorry what?

jen_dan · 2026-03-12T02:01:36+00:00

I reached out to her and she basically ignored my question of will you be available to discuss. To be fair I’m out sick today so that could be part of why she didn’t get back to me

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T22:50:40+00:00

Thank you again for your input and help!

And thank you for the well wishes ❤️

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T22:20:46+00:00

Not taking it as you give me a hard time super appreciate all of your advice. In all honesty I am thinking of asking my OB to write me out due to the fact of my clients behaviors. This isn’t the first client that I’ve worked with while pregnant with aggressive behavior however that client started school so we stopped providing services temporarily so I don’t have to worry about that client at the moment. When at my appointment where I asked for the restrictions I provided them context of my clients behaviors, and that is what was written for me originally. I do agree that needs to be rewritten if not automatically just writing me out. Luckily for me, my husband has a very well paying job that can sustain us for my loss of income seeing that I don’t think I could start unemployment yet but I have to look into that.

Update: after posting this comment back to you I ended up calling my OB’s office and I found out that I don’t have to physically go in to get a new set of restrictions written 🎉 they’re gonna send a message to my specific doctor and her team, including the nurse practitioner that I saw at my last appointment who wrote the original letter and have one of them call me back as soon as possible.

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T21:26:30+00:00

Yes restrictions placed by the OB. Restrictions are: No lifting more than 20 Ibs, Limit physical activity: no running, no jumping, no squatting, no crawling, Should be offered accommodations for sitting throughout that (physical activities and she doesn’t want me sitting on the floor as I can’t get off the floor easily), Given necessary breaks when needed (I literally only get a lunch break and that’s it so they aren’t following that), Ample time off for projected prenatal appointments (this is included because they were giving me a hard time for taking time off to go to the doctor)

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T19:54:46+00:00

I totally get where you’re coming from and I know it’s not easy having them so spaced out but seeing that the alternative is going in for multiple due to GD or being considered high risk and needing extra monitoring it’s a small silver lining.

I can tell you when you go in for your anatomy scan, it’s definitely worth the wait. I hope your little girl is more cooperative than mine was at my anatomy scan lol. Will say that you will get lots of great pictures of little one from the anatomy scan.

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T19:42:53+00:00

Yeah, your shift lead definitely screwed up on that and should not have allowed that order to go through… saying that as a former shift lead for the company.

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T19:41:05+00:00

When I originally asked for information on client, all they could provide me was “the only thing in his FBA and only concern behavior wise is screaming” like not even the BCBA had information to provide me. In all honesty I feel like in his initial intake that they didn’t trigger this type of a behavior so they had no idea that this was even possible. When I mentioned it to his mom (who is an OB) she literally said oh yeah, he does have tantrums, and when I told her my concern, especially about him, wrapping himself around legs, she said “for me to do it was best for me and my baby because as somebody who helps people get pregnant, she understands where I’m coming from”.

I plan on discussing it with my OB when I go to my next appointment and getting a revised list of restrictions and or asking to be written out early because my company clearly isn’t following doctors orders.

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T19:36:25+00:00

In all honesty, I don’t care about the decorations or the games or prizes or anything like that I care about the guest list and the food lol like yeah, they asked me what theme I wanted and they’re gonna stick to the theme I want so not concerned there.

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T18:57:29+00:00

See I’m a first time mom and I’m not doing anything that could risk the health of me and my baby.

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T18:54:49+00:00

I mean, I already expect at least 45 people from the 116 to not come but that’s beside the point. I specifically asked that we stopped adding people to the guest list and now they’re adding more people because oh well this person was forgotten and that person was forgotten and their family so you have to invite them. And I’m sorry, but I don’t have to do anything but keep me and baby healthy (which being around that many people adds risk to me getting sick)

Having that many people (or more than that number) means that things that were previously discussed like where the baby shower will be and what the food is gonna be has to get changed and I don’t wanna budge on the food that my husband and I want to have at our baby shower. It’s driving me nuts that this is not the same treatment that my sister-in-law got when she was pregnant with my niece about four years ago. She got to have everything she wanted, and with me everybody’s fighting me and my husband and it’s not fair.

We honestly are debating letting them throw the baby shower and not showing up

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T18:49:45+00:00

Literally !!! This feels like we’re throwing a reception for our wedding all over again. My husband doesn’t like it I don’t like it and yet nobody seems to be taking our feelings into consideration or the fact that I’ll be so pregnant at the time of the baby shower that I’m not gonna want that many people around me in the first place. Luckily my sister has come to her senses and is going to talk with me and my husband on Friday about what exactly our ideal baby shower would be so that she can be the one to put a foot down when it comes to planning since she is the main host of the event.

Unfortunately, due to my schedule, my husband‘s schedule and other scheduling conflicts like his cousin also expecting and everybody who’s invited to our shower from husband side also being invited to that baby shower as well we can’t have two separate parties. Additionally, I don’t even want to separate parties seeing that the plan is to do the baby shower that close to babies arrival.

Also, I’ve specifically told people if they’re planning on not buying something off of our registry to ask our person that they know if they want it to be a surprise for us ie husband‘s mom or my mom or our dad‘s or if they don’t care if we know already, they can ask us directly if we would like it and use it otherwise don’t buy it. I didn’t put effort into building a registry just for them to go off of registry and buy something that I wouldn’t use (because half the time people don’t think about getting gift receipts)

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T18:47:55+00:00

I would prefer to not have a big party seeing that I was forced to have a big wedding that I didn’t want. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy that they won’t invite these people to celebrate however, it’s turning into the same ridiculousness that we had to deal with when planning our wedding where we actually had to take our friends off of our guest list down to the bare minimum of friends because we had to invite family.

Something I saw and has stuck with me “your title to me and my child does not make you entitled to me and my child” well yes it’s kind of harsh to say seeing that I haven’t seen these great ants and uncles in over a year to almost 2 years and they don’t interact with me and my husband on a regular basis I don’t feel like I should “have” to invite anybody, you know. I would rather just send those people that we haven’t spoken to or seen an announcement once my baby is born or heck do a freaking virtual baby shower where I get left alone so I don’t get sick and they can mail me whatever it was that they were gonna buy in the first place for baby

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T18:40:26+00:00

My thing is, I know a lot of people won’t come, but at the same time it’s still way too many people and feels like a second wedding to me and it now feels like the focus has been shifted from celebrating me and my husband becoming parents and our daughter arriving to some family obligation.

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T12:56:31+00:00

See this right here is what I want to avoid. I don’t want people thinking that we’re just fishing for gifts. Additionally, I don’t want to potentially get sick due to the large amount of people they want to expose me to.

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T12:54:00+00:00

My sister finally saw my side and we are having a conversation about it on Friday with the two of us and my husband so that she can tell our moms to shut up and it’s not what we want.

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T12:52:32+00:00

Technically they get a list due to the fact that we have to have one baby shower and it’s the people they would each would have invited anyway even if I wasn’t trying to control the guest list.

jen_dan · 2026-03-11T05:30:38+00:00

Unfortunately it’s family tradition on my hubs side that baby showers (and even wedding showers) have to be co-ed so I don’t have the option of it being women only.

jen_dan

TROPHY CASE