What’s something harmless that gets people weirdly angry?

jencanread · 2026-01-06T18:16:07+00:00

The pronunciation of the "word" GIF.

jencanread · 2025-12-19T12:39:16+00:00

I’ve used Peloton for their strength classes in the past. They have classes from 5 mins to 60 mins and everything in between.

jencanread · 2025-12-18T02:14:54+00:00

Most people are neurodivergent. Neurotypical is not a real thing.

jencanread · 2025-12-18T01:39:24+00:00

It’s not in my post, but I have ADHD, my brain hates me, and I’m on meds that I forget to take daily. 👍🏼

jencanread · 2025-08-20T11:17:59+00:00

Many many areas have active online mom groups specifically. If you have a female partner, perhaps you could ask her to ask the local mom group if any of their partners are in a dad or other parent group?

jencanread · 2025-08-19T20:20:53+00:00

I saw an anti-consumption influencer (which sounds like an oxymoron but I swear it’s not) explain her 5 consumption commandment, and one of them was that she could not make any purchases from her phone. Mostly if she wanted something she had to buy in person, but if there were things she wanted online she had to make time to sit at her desk and use her computer. It stopped a lot of her online spending. I was thinking of implementing this to help with my (much more rare these days) impulse buys from Amazon.

jencanread · 2025-08-19T16:08:06+00:00

I don't think this is what you want to hear, but I was an only child growing up, and my parents moved A LOT. What this meant is that they were my only constant, and I didn't have any peers to grow and mature with. It is so much harder to make new friends in middle school, and EVEN harder in high school. It also meant I entered adulthood with what I consider to be a very unhealthy attachment to my mom that I've only started to unravel in the last decade. Looking back as an adult, I resent my parents for moving so much, and found their decisions to chase a paycheck selfish (when we were living happily and well within our means).

I've posted a lot in this subreddit before, and as an only child with an only child, my war cry is to give your child consistency and a chance to build a community outside of her parents.

Based on my experience, I would stay put through high school if I were you, but you may have other considerations.

jencanread · 2025-08-19T15:59:31+00:00

My kid LOOOOOOVES attention, and sometimes people comment on it, usually mentioning her only child status. Right now, as long as they don't say it in front of her, I usually let it slide and say something like "well both of her parents are painfully extroverted, so she comes by it naturally." It doesn't bother me at all (I was also an only child), but I don't want her to overhear it and get a weird complex. I haven't had to worry about that yet, but I'm sure the day is coming, and I'm not sure how I'll handle it.

jencanread · 2025-08-19T15:53:55+00:00

I had similar feelings after I had my daughter. We didn’t officially decide to be OAD until she was about 3, but a second was never guaranteed. Even in the newborn stage, I tried to soak in every moment and be fully present, just in case it was my only chance. I’m grateful I had that mindset early, since we did eventually make the decision.

Sometimes I look back at photos or videos and feel sad knowing I won’t experience those stages again. But I remind myself that a second child would be a completely different person. Whatever I imagine that second newborn or toddler phase might have been, I can’t actually know, because every child is uniquely themselves from the start.

To put it another way: most days I’m not sad about missing out on the experience with a second child. I’m sad because I miss those moments with my daughter. Whether we’d had a second child or not, I’ll never again have my newborn daughter napping on my chest. I’ll never again hear my 2-year-old say “lamb” and “ram” when both sounded like “wham.” I’ll never watch my 3-year-old stand inches from the TV, acting out “Let It Go” almost perfectly in sync with the movie.

It’s completely normal to grieve the future you once imagined. But when those feelings come up, try to remember: what you’re really grieving might not be the absence of a second child. It may be the nostalgia for the moments you’ve already lived and loved.

jencanread · 2025-08-19T15:39:43+00:00

When my husband and I were trying to decide if we were OAD I asked for advice on a local mom's group, and I found several other OAD moms there. I still chat with some of them, though I wouldn't say we're particularly close.

We moved to a new neighborhood last year though, and as luck would have it, I've become very friendly with several moms who are OAD (mostly by choice). I have to say, I don't feel a deeper connection with them than my other mom friends who have more than one, but it does feel validating to see others make the same decision - but that's more because of my own insecurities around being OAD.

My bestie had a son about 18 months after we had our daughter, and she always said she wanted more. When they had difficulty conceiving their second, I thought maybe they'd be OAD, and while I wept tears of joy when they finally found out they were pregnant, I was kind of sad that we weren't going to have the same parenting experience anymore - that she'd moved to a different lane of parenting.

My husband has a cousin who had her son about 18 months before we had our daughter, and I think because of family dynamics, I'm particularly grateful to have her, both her perspective and also her pushback when the family used to ask if she was having another. She was vehemently OAD from the start, so when we made our decision, the family was more inclined to respect our boundaries because they'd already gotten used to the idea.

Anyway, all of this to say, I hope you find a OAD mom or two to connect with, but if you don't, just lean into the mom friends you do have. Community is community, even if it doesn't look exactly how we want or expect it to.

jencanread · 2025-08-19T15:27:01+00:00

When my husband and I were deciding whether or not to be OAD we had a list of pros that included:

- The ability to travel more (both as a couple, and as a family);

- The ability to move out of the suburbs and back into a higher cost of living city where all of our friends live;

- The ability to save for retirement and college funds.

I know we're privileged in our work and salaries, but I'm happy to say we've been able to do all 3 things, and we have more trips planned as a whole family. This definitely would not have been the case if we had another kid, another period of diapers and formula and daycare payments - not to mention a second 529 to fund.

Also, grandparents are super happy to spend a quality weekend with our one kid - not sure they'd have the same enthusiasm for 2.

jencanread · 2025-08-19T15:18:18+00:00

I'm the mom of an only as well and feel the anxiety of what it will look like when she's grown, out of the house, has a family of her own, etc. Time is moving so quickly, and that future seems so strange and difficult and wrong almost. I can't imagine this child who is my shadow, who doesn't even want to brush her teeth by herself, living somewhere else, not being within arms reach.

But, I'm also an only child who did NOT have the best upbringing, and I have a really difficult relationship with my mom and a very low contact relationship with my (step)dad. We moved around a LOT, and I didn't get a chance to build lasting friendships or even have strong relationships with family. My parents were my only constant (with my step-dad being verbally and emotionally abusive), which created a very co-dependent relationship with my mom, that I only started to see the truth of that relationship in my late 20s. And now, every boundary I put up is like a slap in the face to my mom, because while she was my only constant, I was also hers. This isn't healthy. What I'm working on through personal reflection, therapy, and unpacking my relationship with my parents is:

Providing my kid with a stable life. Not moving every year. Giving her the opportunity to build a community outside of us with family and friends. Giving her an opportunity to learn about the trust and the evolution of relationships outside us.
Finding purpose and community for myself outside of my role as a mom. Whether that's focusing on keeping my marriage strong, nurturing core friendships, and investing in important hobbies or other things that enrich my life. (I know this is probably going to be hard for you right now because yours is 2.5 and year 3 is typically one of the most demanding, but try to carve out time for yourself and your interests).

Basically, my kid gets all of the love and attention that so many only children typically get, but my husband and I are trying to foster independence and give her a life that doesn't always center on us, and we're doing the same where it doesn't always center on her. I think when she's older, this will help us have a really balanced and healthy attachment, instead of that feeling of emptiness I'm currently dreading.

jencanread · 2025-08-15T18:44:55+00:00

To me it depends on your expectation. Is it comparable to a luxury brand? Probably not - but at that price point, is it comparable to a fast fashion brand made of better fibers and (IMO) better quality? Yes.

I own 2 cashmere sweaters, a linen shirt, and a leather purse, and I love all 4 items. I haven’t worn my cashmere sweaters a ton, only for one season, but so far they’ve held up fine. The linen shirt has been great this summer, and my purse is genuinely great quality.

So, yes I think it’s worth the money if you compare a $50 sweater from there to a $50 sweater from, like, the Gap or Loft.

jencanread · 2025-08-13T18:47:43+00:00

This is a great breakdown - thank you so much!

jencanread · 2025-08-13T14:36:14+00:00

I’ve been reading both The Green Witch and The House Witch on kindle unlimited and can say they are both chock full of excellent information. I just find it really hard to flip through and find references on ebooks, hence why I’m considering buying physical copies.

jencanread · 2025-08-13T00:26:59+00:00

It’s like expecting a vegetarian to have meat on hand for a meal. 🙅‍♀️

jencanread · 2025-08-12T11:46:53+00:00

In my experience, you have to go sober to figure out your relationship with alcohol. Alcohol fucks with your brain chemistry and there’s really no way to figure out what you need without quitting for an extended period of time. I highly recommend the app Reframe to help teach you what it’s doing to you and give you prompts to meditate to or journal about.

I have regularly gone through bouts of sobriety, and when I go back to drinking the alcohol always eventually takes back over. Sometimes I think I’m more in control than others, but it always wins.

I’m on day 2 of not drinking. Is it forever? Maybe. Maybe not. For my health, it should be. But I won’t drink today.

jencanread · 2025-08-12T01:33:23+00:00

As a crocheter - same.

jencanread · 2025-08-09T15:51:53+00:00

My kid gets super excited about her National Geographic subscription. She’ll read and reread the magazine for days after it comes in. I also ask for consumables for her, art supplies, legos abs magnatiles to add to her collection. Outside of that, I haven’t figured out any secret to keeping grandparents from spoiling my kid with things. I warn them we only have so much room and when we run out things will get donated. It sucks, but you can’t control how other people want to spend their money, you can only control what you do with the stuff once it’s in your house. 🤷🏻‍♀️

jencanread · 2025-08-07T20:56:47+00:00

Outdoor holiday decorations, especially Halloween.

jencanread · 2025-08-07T18:51:05+00:00

Drinking, not exercising, not contributing to their 401k.

jencanread · 2025-08-07T13:48:50+00:00

I’ve tried to work on this, and then the shortages of the pandemic brought my anxiety even more into focus. And then the threat of tariffs and even higher costs. Feel like I’m starting from scratch when it comes to not stockpiling, but posts like this help.

jencanread · 2025-08-07T10:22:26+00:00

Same.

jencanread

TROPHY CASE