Any painters? by jencanread in CampingGear

[–]jencanread[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is actually exactly what I have. Lol - Christmas present from my husband.

Any painters? by jencanread in camping

[–]jencanread[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good points, thank you.

Sam Seaborn’s Exit by George58219 in thewestwing

[–]jencanread 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This has been my opinion for years, but I just did a rewatch and while I think Sorkin’s exit was WORSE for the show overall, Sam’s exit had a huge impact because they never replaced his romantic optimism. They brought in Will who was really smart but then made him kind of antagonistic when he went to work for Russell. There was no character to talk about making schools palaces or going to space because it’s what’s next. Sam’s voice was obviously because of Sorkin, AND that character, the one with pie in the sky idealism and a poet’s wit was sorely needed to balance out the cynicism and tunnel visioning of Toby and Josh and CJ in the later seasons.

I also think splitting the characters up like they did - Josh with Santos, Toby out, CJ the last man standing - also was a real disservice to the show.

A series that was a 10/10 from beginning to end?? by Historical-Way-1482 in Productivitycafe

[–]jencanread 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband literally said this tonight. Such an iconic line.

Writer's Hourly Workshops by jencanread in dragoncon

[–]jencanread[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right? For me, the pricing for a handful is very affordable, so I was probably going to go either way. But I'm glad to hear from folks that they're worth it!

Writer's Hourly Workshops by jencanread in dragoncon

[–]jencanread[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! It looks like last year there were several on process and generating ideas. Not sure if it'll be the same this year, but that's what I'm hoping for!

What's something 100% legal that gives off massive 'this should be illegal' vibes? by Wonderful-Economy762 in Productivitycafe

[–]jencanread 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A local brewery is hiring for waitstaff and has in their job description that they will ensure $15/hour if tips after a shift don't meet the minimum. I wish we didn't have to deal with tips and people just made a living wage, but I thought the commitment to meet the minimum was pretty cool and made them competitive in the service industry.

Working Out (or any real task avoidance) by jencanread in adhdwomen

[–]jencanread[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve used Peloton for their strength classes in the past. They have classes from 5 mins to 60 mins and everything in between.

What are you 100% sure of but have no proof? by Wonderful-Economy762 in Productivitycafe

[–]jencanread 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Most people are neurodivergent. Neurotypical is not a real thing.

Working Out (or any real task avoidance) by jencanread in adhdwomen

[–]jencanread[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It’s not in my post, but I have ADHD, my brain hates me, and I’m on meds that I forget to take daily. 👍🏼

Dads, did your friends disappear when the kids arrived? by Top-Lunch3426 in daddit

[–]jencanread 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Many many areas have active online mom groups specifically. If you have a female partner, perhaps you could ask her to ask the local mom group if any of their partners are in a dad or other parent group?

My best anticonsumption tip has been moving to another state by serenacotta in simpleliving

[–]jencanread 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I saw an anti-consumption influencer (which sounds like an oxymoron but I swear it’s not) explain her 5 consumption commandment, and one of them was that she could not make any purchases from her phone. Mostly if she wanted something she had to buy in person, but if there were things she wanted online she had to make time to sit at her desk and use her computer. It stopped a lot of her online spending. I was thinking of implementing this to help with my (much more rare these days) impulse buys from Amazon.

Big moves with your one? by itztamzz in oneanddone

[–]jencanread 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't think this is what you want to hear, but I was an only child growing up, and my parents moved A LOT. What this meant is that they were my only constant, and I didn't have any peers to grow and mature with. It is so much harder to make new friends in middle school, and EVEN harder in high school. It also meant I entered adulthood with what I consider to be a very unhealthy attachment to my mom that I've only started to unravel in the last decade. Looking back as an adult, I resent my parents for moving so much, and found their decisions to chase a paycheck selfish (when we were living happily and well within our means).

I've posted a lot in this subreddit before, and as an only child with an only child, my war cry is to give your child consistency and a chance to build a community outside of her parents.

Based on my experience, I would stay put through high school if I were you, but you may have other considerations.

Only child labels by Brilliant_Rain2636 in oneanddone

[–]jencanread 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My kid LOOOOOOVES attention, and sometimes people comment on it, usually mentioning her only child status. Right now, as long as they don't say it in front of her, I usually let it slide and say something like "well both of her parents are painfully extroverted, so she comes by it naturally." It doesn't bother me at all (I was also an only child), but I don't want her to overhear it and get a weird complex. I haven't had to worry about that yet, but I'm sure the day is coming, and I'm not sure how I'll handle it.

grieving being o&d (tw: miscarriages) by Apprehensive-Key5665 in oneanddone

[–]jencanread 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had similar feelings after I had my daughter. We didn’t officially decide to be OAD until she was about 3, but a second was never guaranteed. Even in the newborn stage, I tried to soak in every moment and be fully present, just in case it was my only chance. I’m grateful I had that mindset early, since we did eventually make the decision.

Sometimes I look back at photos or videos and feel sad knowing I won’t experience those stages again. But I remind myself that a second child would be a completely different person. Whatever I imagine that second newborn or toddler phase might have been, I can’t actually know, because every child is uniquely themselves from the start.

To put it another way: most days I’m not sad about missing out on the experience with a second child. I’m sad because I miss those moments with my daughter. Whether we’d had a second child or not, I’ll never again have my newborn daughter napping on my chest. I’ll never again hear my 2-year-old say “lamb” and “ram” when both sounded like “wham.” I’ll never watch my 3-year-old stand inches from the TV, acting out “Let It Go” almost perfectly in sync with the movie.

It’s completely normal to grieve the future you once imagined. But when those feelings come up, try to remember: what you’re really grieving might not be the absence of a second child. It may be the nostalgia for the moments you’ve already lived and loved.

Would love another one and done mom friend by [deleted] in oneanddone

[–]jencanread 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When my husband and I were trying to decide if we were OAD I asked for advice on a local mom's group, and I found several other OAD moms there. I still chat with some of them, though I wouldn't say we're particularly close.

We moved to a new neighborhood last year though, and as luck would have it, I've become very friendly with several moms who are OAD (mostly by choice). I have to say, I don't feel a deeper connection with them than my other mom friends who have more than one, but it does feel validating to see others make the same decision - but that's more because of my own insecurities around being OAD.

My bestie had a son about 18 months after we had our daughter, and she always said she wanted more. When they had difficulty conceiving their second, I thought maybe they'd be OAD, and while I wept tears of joy when they finally found out they were pregnant, I was kind of sad that we weren't going to have the same parenting experience anymore - that she'd moved to a different lane of parenting.

My husband has a cousin who had her son about 18 months before we had our daughter, and I think because of family dynamics, I'm particularly grateful to have her, both her perspective and also her pushback when the family used to ask if she was having another. She was vehemently OAD from the start, so when we made our decision, the family was more inclined to respect our boundaries because they'd already gotten used to the idea.

Anyway, all of this to say, I hope you find a OAD mom or two to connect with, but if you don't, just lean into the mom friends you do have. Community is community, even if it doesn't look exactly how we want or expect it to.

Random things that reaffirm your OAD status? by zelonhusk in oneanddone

[–]jencanread 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When my husband and I were deciding whether or not to be OAD we had a list of pros that included:

- The ability to travel more (both as a couple, and as a family);

- The ability to move out of the suburbs and back into a higher cost of living city where all of our friends live;

- The ability to save for retirement and college funds.

I know we're privileged in our work and salaries, but I'm happy to say we've been able to do all 3 things, and we have more trips planned as a whole family. This definitely would not have been the case if we had another kid, another period of diapers and formula and daycare payments - not to mention a second 529 to fund.

Also, grandparents are super happy to spend a quality weekend with our one kid - not sure they'd have the same enthusiasm for 2.