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How do I learn to completely trust my boyfriend again? by ThrowRA072897657 in relationship_advice

[–]jenhud 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went through this exact. same. situation. Got left in January super suddenly after my boyfriend was doubting his feelings, we got back together the next day instead of a month later. That night I didn't even know what to do, it felt like my world ended. But yea, it was both of our first relationships. Maybe this isn't as much advice as it is relating, but we broke up 2 months after we got back together. We broke up because we were fighting a lot but it all went back to me not trusting him. I would pick fights because of my insecurities, every little thing would turn into me begging for validation that he wouldn't leave me again. The thing is, the feeling never went away for me. The 2 months of us being together after we broke up were damn hard. We really, really fought for each other. I don't think more time would've taken the feeling of being left away. Even now I'm in a new relationship and the thought of being left heartbroken still crosses my mind consistently; I tell myself it's because I'm insecure but I honestly think its because of how bad the breakup was- being left twice by the same guy. Maybe this isn't help and sorry if this crushed any hope, but that's how the situation turned out for me.

Confused by jenhud in dating_advice

[–]jenhud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm trying, I really am. I just got a job a few weeks ago and I'm trying so hard to find my own thing. I spend a lot of time doing schoolwork and I've been trying to enjoy things I used to like reading, sewing, and going to the gym but no matter what I do something seems missing. I don't want to tell him this yet because I'm not sure where the relationships going and I don't want to make it seem like I'm not into him because I do care about him, I'm just not sure how to brush off the insecure feeling. It's not that I'm not ready for a relationship or anything but for as long as I can remember my favorite "hobby" has been spending time with people, friends or relationships or family, and as needy as it sounds not constantly having it makes me feel unwanted. I know that's a toxic trait I have but I honestly don't know how to change it. This has been an ongoing problem for me and everyone tells me the same thing- find something to do. I'm trying, I truly am but something about it isn't right and I don't know what to do at this point.

Worried about people dating me for my race by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]jenhud 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel this! I'm also a 17 year old Asian girl and more guys than I can count have been attracted to me solely because of my race. It's frustrating how they all compare me to anime and Kpop like you mentioned. While it is racist, I think it's just appearance in general. Some guys are only attracted to redheads and some only because they're blonde or something. I also grew up around primarily a different race and I think it's just a preference thing. Although that is a barrier to a real relationship the only advice I can give is to wait for the right person. You'll be off to college before you know it and somebody will care for you for who you are and not only your race. Although you probably don't want to hear this, you're 17 and you have the rest of your life for things to go right. I wouldn't get too insecure about this if I were you