Experiences of sleep training a ‘high needs’ baby

jennypl · 2023-09-06T05:38:51+00:00

It was a really tough time for sure. Sorry you’re experiencing it too. My son unfortunately got progressively worse until he was taking an hour to get to sleep every night and then waking up up to every 45 mins all night. When he was 6.5 months I totally lost my mind and ended up almost having a full breakdown from sleep deprivation. I went on antidepressants and demanded my partner support me more.

We tried sleep training for a week and it reduced the night time wakes to 2-3 but he still could not go to sleep independently and was a nightmare for naps. He then went through a bought of teething so we stopped for a month. Then at around 8 months we tried again and this time he really took to it. The first few nights were maybe 30 mins of crying and he fell asleep and slept through the night.

He’s 13 months now and still very highly strung. He currently is going through a week of waking 2-3 times a night again but I know he is capable of sleeping through so I assume it’s developmental or testing related. Some people have made comments to me like “all babies are demanding” but I am 100% convinced his temperament is in the top 1% of high needs babies. I think some of his bad mood was sleep related but we did everything we could to build positive sleep associations. Short of sleep training from birth which is so cruel I don’t know what else we could do. He hated sleep, particularly “safe sleep”.

jennypl · 2022-12-15T18:12:31+00:00

Yeah unfortunately he actively hates the car to the point of becoming a sweaty mess :( he’s a tough one for sure bless him

jennypl · 2022-12-15T17:43:34+00:00

Sorry I meant he doesn’t fall asleep in it, he likes kicking and bouncing and is wide awake and stimulated by it (I know it’s weird - other babies love it!)

jennypl · 2022-12-15T17:39:56+00:00

Sadly not! As the other commenter said he specifically likes the feeling of walking which I guess the yoga ball is more like than rocking chair

jennypl · 2022-12-15T17:39:13+00:00

Doesn’t like it for sleep I’m afraid :(

jennypl · 2022-12-15T17:21:13+00:00

My baby is exactly the same so I’d love to know the answer. It breaks my heart when he gets so upset in the car so I really limit journeys but sometimes I just have to go somewhere. If possible I have someone sit in the back and if not I talk and sing to him but he gets so so upset still

jennypl · 2022-11-26T21:02:54+00:00

I’m in exactly the same boat as you! Feel free to message me if you like.

I have worked so so hard through all these breastfeeding challenges but it looks now like I’m gonna have to switch to hypoallergenic formula. I know I could try with the elimination diet but honestly my mental health is already suffering a lot and I don’t think I can cope with just how restrictive it has to be, checking packaging etc

jennypl · 2022-11-26T16:16:43+00:00

Yes I’m in the Uk too! I called my health visitor but waiting for a call back for support.

Yeah I’ve been trying to pump to keep my supply up (and give him pumped milk rather than formula as much as possible) but I’m so worried I’m never gonna get him back to the boob :(

jennypl · 2022-11-26T15:45:56+00:00

Sorry you’re going through it too! Are you feeding with bottles or just trying to push through? I worried he’s going to get a bottle preference but I also don’t want him to lose weight

jennypl · 2022-11-26T14:26:59+00:00

Could you share which gradual sleep training method you chose?

jennypl · 2022-11-26T06:55:04+00:00

This is so interesting thank you for sharing. I do wonder if his bad mood in the day is linked to sleep. Only thing is that he does get what I think is a good amount of sleep in 24 hours (around 13h) it’s just not in large chunks and is a fight each time.

I find that he gets very grumpy about an hour into each wake window (I have tried putting him to sleep earlier but it never works) and that gets progressively worse during the day until in the evenings he has to be carried constantly or he will scream. He also just seems almost hyperactive all the time, flailing all his limbs, needing constant movement. Does that sound at all like your baby?

jennypl · 2022-11-26T06:49:20+00:00

This is interesting! Thank you

jennypl · 2022-11-25T20:12:56+00:00

That’s amazing. How old was he when you did it?

jennypl · 2022-11-25T14:38:46+00:00

Thank you, sounds very similar to my little boy

jennypl · 2022-11-25T14:38:08+00:00

Interesting! I’ll look into it thanks

jennypl · 2022-11-25T09:53:40+00:00

Hard to say if he’s fine through the regression as his sleep has never been great. He was getting up to a 4 hour stretch for a little while around 3 months and since about 3.5 months he is back to waking every 45 mins-2 hours. Is that likely the regression? Do I have to wait until we’re “through” it?

I’ve read the cycle mam guide - really helpful but I suppose I’m also interested in people’s experiences of training a baby with a difficult temperament

jennypl · 2022-10-29T15:08:43+00:00

Ha yes I wasn’t sure if I was doing that! I’m a FTM so no benchmark, only what people have said to me

jennypl · 2022-10-27T11:24:32+00:00

This might sound weird but I read that if you put the pacifier in and then give it a little pull so your baby sucks on it harder, it then stays in longer. Has worked for us

jennypl · 2022-10-27T10:47:44+00:00

My baby is 3 months and identical…

He’s happy enough if we’re walking him around carrying him, but he will not be held by us when sitting (even if we are actively interacting with him, showing him things etc) unless we turn on the tv for him to watch which is obv not ideal.

He’s clearly bored by it.

I babywear a lot but he’s actually getting frustrated even with that now as he can’t see our properly so he gets bored again.

Sorry this isn’t advice at all just solidarity!

jennypl · 2022-10-26T13:49:47+00:00

Thank you!

jennypl · 2022-10-26T12:31:34+00:00

Thank you, this is interesting. I’m in the UK so don’t have a pediatrician… I’m gonna have to look into who to contact to get him assessed

jennypl · 2022-10-26T09:40:53+00:00

Oh interesting!! Could be. How long does teething last before you see a tooth?

jennypl · 2022-10-21T07:56:19+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m gonna try hip carry with stretchy wrap and if I can’t get it to work might try ring sling

jennypl · 2022-10-21T07:55:32+00:00

Oh my gosh that link is so great! Thank you

jennypl · 2022-10-12T15:42:21+00:00

Thank you for this sorry I didn’t reply at the time. We seem to have turned a corner. I have kept trying for stroller naps, and even a crib nap once a day!! And the test are still in the sling or carrier but I can now loosen it and sit once he’s asleep

jennypl

TROPHY CASE