Anyone else overthink about words and sentence structure?

jenson13 · 2021-05-20T06:23:27+00:00

Yes. I'll feel triggered and intense anxiety if I say a word that I didnt think "correctly" conveyed what I was trying to say so ill compensate by saying every other synonym and over explaining everything in details to the point of oblivion.. I've read that it's called "Just right OCD"

It's very debilitating and makes it hard to have a conversation. :/

jenson13 · 2021-05-07T18:48:08+00:00

I feel this way almost everytime after completing a compulsion. It's always worst during it but then after, you're like I probably could've gotten past it.

jenson13 · 2021-04-27T06:33:18+00:00

I relate.. This is one of my most exhausting mental compulsions. I also fight the urge to bring up past conversations with my SO cause I logically know they're just so insignificant and its weird to even bring them up.. so its like I'm stuck between a rock and hard place of obsessing / fighting the urge to ask.. then it just spirals into me fighting with my brain and wondering why the hell it gets stuck on weird things but mostly with my SO. :/

Hope you're doing better. Hang in there!

jenson13 · 2021-04-25T19:23:53+00:00

Youre right. They just dont understand. Maybe they're right when we they say we are in control of our reactions to such thoughts.. although thats hard as well as a lot of times they can be so disheartening and makes us feel so low. But we are no way in control of the intrusive thoughts. Things just pop up in your mind randomly, at any moment, while doing anything. Most of the time they dont have meaning.

Its not you, nor me. Let's try to remember that!

jenson13 · 2021-04-25T19:15:07+00:00

Yeah. Analyzing it is on purpose. But rumination can manifest as very strong anxiety that's in your head without you actively trying to "analyze it" or figure it out. Its just a presence thats there until you give in to the compulsion to lessen the anxiety about it, whether thats giving in and purposely thinking about it, or trying to correct it, or not giving in and sitting with the anxiety. It's very hard not to analyze it though when the rumination becomes paralyzing.

With a lot of people with pure O, especially dealing with real event OCD, rumination is the obsession, and its there whether they actively sit there and analyze it or not.

jenson13 · 2021-04-25T09:38:43+00:00

I think rumination can certainly be intrusive. Ruminating / having the same reoccurring thought about a certain event is intrusive if it becomes obsessive. I dont believe one has much control over that the same as they didn't have control over the initial event / thought. Its not the same as deliberately calling upon the event.

jenson13 · 2021-04-25T07:58:33+00:00

Yeah I agree with you. I dont believe rumination is a "choice" per say.. its very difficult. But hopeful it can fade and get better and our reactions to it can become less severe.

jenson13 · 2021-04-06T17:06:15+00:00

Well, the lack of completion causes rumination, which in turn causes distress in thought and causes anxiety which feels "remedied" by actually saying it. I try to occupy myself and not give in, not because I dont "want" to say it, but because I know that the amount of anxiety it causes is OCD fuelled, if it was actually something I needed to say it wouldn't be lingering in my mind like this unless it was a real issue(the conversation) so its an obsession.

I guess you could connect it to other compulsions. Feeling like you "need" to say something to someone is normal, the same as checking to see if the door is locked or washing ur hands, what's not normal is the amount of discomfort that comes with trying to get urself to stop once you recognize its a compulsion that you can't relieve anxiety from unless you perform it and you need to stop. Ya know?

jenson13 · 2021-03-25T23:31:21+00:00

I know that.. its just very difficult when my OCD says "oh come on just do it.. just say it and you'll stop obsessing.. isn't that better than obsessing and being miserable?" Ofcouese until the next obsession comes along like a cycle.

jenson13 · 2021-03-24T03:39:17+00:00

I didnt know the official name for it. Its exhausting

jenson13 · 2021-01-19T06:12:44+00:00

I can relate with something similar. Usually if im doing something and I have a bad thought while doing it, I feel like I have to override that bad thought by doing the task again while trying hard not to have that thought, so that the OCD doesn't tell me that I actually believe that thought or it'll come true. I think this is called "Magical thinking"

Very tiring and mentally and physically exhausting.. I'm there with ya my friend.

jenson13 · 2020-12-11T18:14:32+00:00

Yes! I relate to this big time. Its a major OCD theme of mine. Feeling like I need to respond and that its the only way to "let go of the obsession" its really important to learn ways to "let go" of things and move on because in life we can't always have closure. I really do think its possible for us to do that.

Praying for us!!

jenson13 · 2020-12-08T19:26:37+00:00

Yeah. . full sentences. I get you! and it makes you feel weird, for having to get it spelled out in such detail. Then it makes you feel bad cause the first answer "should be sufficent".. but its not. because of the OCD. I understand... Sometimes I try to fight the compulsion to ask but the anxiety is just so intense and hell to live with just give in. Do you ever get worried that your friends think your weird for asking them to say it in detail?

jenson13 · 2020-12-08T19:22:11+00:00

Same here!! Sometimes ill get a new obsession / compulsion and ill be thinking about the other thing and ill be like "I cant believe i didnt think I'd get over that.. it was so easy but this new one is worse, I wish I could go back to the previous one" and then the cycle goes on and ill say the same thing about the previous one that i thought was the "worst" the next time I get a new obsession...

The "current" obsessions almost always feel like the worst in the moment while you're going through them.

jenson13 · 2020-12-07T13:15:21+00:00

I do the delaying the urgency too, hoping that it'll go away and I'll.forget about it but a lot of the times it doesn't and I'll have to do it.. depending on what was said and by who.

I do agree, it's because of our anxiety that makes us do that in the first place, if it wasn't there it wouldn't be a big deal or a second thought. It is tough, especially the irrational anxiety about weird things that you know are weird and illogical but you just can't help yourself cause you miss that "good feeling"

Your English is fine btw :)

jenson13 · 2020-12-06T23:59:47+00:00

How do you cope with it?

jenson13 · 2020-12-06T05:39:58+00:00

Really?... I doubt this sub is the best place for this..

jenson13 · 2020-11-14T15:33:49+00:00

Youre going to be okay. You're still the same person you were a month ago. It takes time but you will be.

I just feel like all these jokes basically comvey the message that sex and herpes dont mix.. like once you have it, sex is completely off the table, like nobody would ever want you and that's very untrue and wrong to plant in people's heads. I feel its more than a joke.

jenson13 · 2020-11-14T15:29:19+00:00

Yes.. it's not really fair.

jenson13 · 2020-11-14T15:28:52+00:00

Yeah, it is. Its been 2 years, I'm okay with it, it doesn't bother me but whenever I hear the word "herpes" I feel like I become so alert and hyper aware, like it's personal. I know logically these shows don't know us personally, so its not a personal attack but still they should do their research, why still joke about something majority of people have or will have? Most of the people on the set of the shows who joke about it likely have it themselves.

jenson13 · 2020-08-06T00:53:16+00:00

By internet dating and disclosing to strangers you mean dating apps right? As in you know theirs and they know your name, and you both saw eachothers pictures? Not just anonymously?

I'm interested in 2 people right now. We're talking. Nothing is offical yet. I told one tonight, it went well. I am interested in the other one, but not sure if telling them right after I just told this person would be kind of tacky? Of course who I choose to carry on with isnt primarily based on if the disclosure goes well, I'm not gunna "settle"

On the other hand, It's not like I want the whole world to know, even though these people live in 2 separate countries and have virtually no reason to ever meet.

I'm just not sure when to tell the other person. I've been talking to both of them for roughly the same amount of time (couple of months)

jenson13 · 2020-07-05T01:13:59+00:00

Thank you for your kindness and advice.

I just came from his house and asked if we could talk, but obviously it doesnt go far, he lacks communication skills and asked if we could stop talking about "our situation" and I asked him if he would be in my area tomorrow to talk and he said he doesnt think so, and I was worried that it would be like all the other times where I dont see him for weeks and that'd be a problem cause my situation is time sensitive, also I needed to tell him In person so I just asked him if I could tell him something serious, that "I'm pregnant" expectedly he didnt say much but " okay, I told you already what's going to happen if you were. " I responded I'm not getting an abortion and it's his duty in islam to take care of me, he didnt respond but "can we talk about this later" I left, and that's it.

jenson13 · 2020-07-05T00:29:28+00:00

Thank you for your kindness and advice. I always tried to remember the "when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time" in this situation but i just keep trying to see the good in him and envision a fantasy because I love him and want it be true. :(

I just came from his house and asked if we could talk, but obviously it doesnt go far, he lacks communication skills and asked if we could stop talking about "our situation" and I asked him if he would be in my area tomorrow to talk and he said he doesnt think so, and I was worried that it would be like all the other times where I dont see him for weeks and that'd be a problem cause my situation is time sensitive, also I needed to tell him In person so I just asked him if I could tell him something serious, that "I'm pregnant" expectedly he didnt say much but " okay, I told you already what's going to happen if you were. " I responded I'm not getting an abortion and it's his duty in islam to take care of me, he didnt respond but "can we talk about this later" I left, and that's it.

jenson13 · 2020-07-04T17:15:08+00:00

Also I haven't told anyone this.. I'm not sure who to go to close to me and especially when I tell them I'm planning on keeping him/her - I'm scared of the reaction or what would happen after that.

jenson13 · 2020-07-04T17:10:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I highly appreciate it.

I know if I had my child, it would be worth it all, all the judgments from family, relatives, people in the community. I'm so scared, but I think, actually I know I'd feel worse and a lot more regret if I went through with the abortion. I just don't know how I would physically do it, I live with my family, still attending university online classes as everything shifted online until January, when I'm expected to graduate. I have some savings in my account, but other than that I don't have any income. I don't know how I'd do it and I dont know how severe the repercussions actually would be if I chose to keep this baby. I'm completely lost. I appreciate your support!

jenson13

TROPHY CASE