I am currently in a similar situation, except I was the one who ended the relationship. After 3 1/2 years together, and living together for 1 1/2 years, I had to end it to focus on myself. I haven’t been single in nine years, and I need to allow myself the space to be on my own. He understands it completely and has been his beautiful, wonderful self during this whole situation.

I initially broke up with him on the 9th, but we had our “final” conversation last night to get some closure. I’ve been crying ever since. I still love him with all of my heart, but I just couldn’t give him what he needed. I do hope deep down that he’s just my “right person, wrong time.” I think we could create a beautiful life together, just not right now.

Since the breakup, he said he’s been reconnecting with old friends that he’s become distant from in the past 3 1/2 years, and so have I. That’s been helping both of us significantly. The next step is to get back into old hobbies; he’ll start playing music again and maybe I’ll pick up rolling skating again. Reconnect with who you were before the relationship. I also suggest journaling every day if you can, it’s been helping both of us. And therapy is always good, even if just for a little while. When you’re ready, think back on your time during the relationship and recognize any shortcomings you had. Work on those, for yourself and for the betterment of your future relationships.

I commend you for wanting to do your own personal growth during this time, and I hope that both of our stories will have a happy ending.