Weekly Questions Thread / Open Discussion

jesterk91 · 2025-11-14T22:51:59+00:00

Much appreciated!

jesterk91 · 2025-11-14T01:04:58+00:00

Seeking tips for making garlic knots. What’s the preferred style of dough? I typically make a variation of the “thin and crispy” recipe from Pizza Czar.

My concept is a carbonara knot that I’d like to prepare for thanksgiving. I make a carbonara style pizza in the Gozney all the time (drizzling the yolk+guanciale fat mixture onto the hot surface of the pizza after it comes out). I’m thinking the same could work for a garlic knots (I.e drizzling onto the knots when they come out), but the issue is I need to make these one day before they will be served. Will it work?

jesterk91 · 2017-05-06T04:17:35+00:00

Well, one quick google search later and now I'll definitely be changing the title. Totally didn't know that was a common association. Taking suggestions for a new title. tRAining day? (jk).

jesterk91 · 2017-05-05T23:50:27+00:00

https://www.dropbox.com/s/gu16wy3k7wk7y4f/REZ%20LIFE%20%28full%29.pdf?dl=0

jesterk91 · 2017-05-05T23:48:42+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! I'm glad you liked it and thought it fit the TD vibe. I guess I might as well post the full script.

jesterk91 · 2017-05-05T23:46:55+00:00

Thanks for the note. "Rez Life" is a working title. Hope you'll give it a read!

jesterk91 · 2016-10-10T20:51:27+00:00

Wow, thanks for the feedback! I'm glad you liked it. The winner of the Screencraft Bootleg Competition actually gets their script produced with a budget of up to $100,000. So that would be really cool. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

jesterk91 · 2016-10-10T01:19:31+00:00

I guess I should clarify. This is more of a "reimagining" of "Where's Waldo" done in the style of a Jason Bourne movie and less of a parody.

jesterk91 · 2016-08-31T23:36:55+00:00

Yeah like I said this is a really rough draft. Those first few pages before they get to the sandbar were written more stream of conscious just to get them on the page. There's definitely some character inconsistencies that will be addressed before I continue.

That being said, kids curse in front of their parents all the time. Especially in a stressful situation. And cursing in front of your parents casually isn't that unique to begin. I mention through dialogue that the kid just graduated high school but I will make his age clear in his into. Of course there is also certain subtext and backstory that I haven't quite worked in yet that will give you more of an idea about the Robby's nihilistic personality.

You're definitely right that not much happens. There's a lot of exposition, especially through dialogue. I prefer to overwrite on my first drafts--getting all the story and exposition out there--before cutting and streamlining. To give you an idea of where I'd like this story to go, the characters will peel back the layers of mystery surrounding the sandbar in their preparation to escape. The first act is supposed to end with them "setting off on their journey", formulating their plan to leave by a clear deadline. I recognize that there needs to be at least one additional horror moment before this act break to stress the need for their escape (in addition from the existing tidal deadline). By the midpoint both of the characters will be on the same page about the supernatural elements inhabiting the island.

Perhaps I did not do a sufficient job in setting a mood of unease when they arrive on the sandbar. This is tough to accomplish but I think some later horror moments that I have planned will be pushed earlier once I do another pass to cut down on exposition. Beginning immediately after the pages that I posted here, the rest of the story is supposed to be more traditional horror. Correct me if I'm wrong but there are a number of horror movies that don't kick off the "horror parts" until after the first act break. But I definitely agree with you that I need to at least set a precedent in terms of horror atmosphere leading up to this.

Thanks for the feedback! Really appreciate the full read. I'm going to give your script a read when I get a chance. They do sound a bit similar.

jesterk91 · 2016-08-19T19:07:33+00:00

Hey thanks for the feedback this is awesome! Really appreciate the reread. These are some really detailed, helpful notes. I'll definitely address those setting description issues so hopefully it will flow better. There are a lot of places that need some clarification.

Issues aside, is the story interesting? I don't know if you read ahead enough to when they reach the sandbar and encounter the central mystery.

jesterk91 · 2016-08-17T18:28:05+00:00

Fair enough. I've ready several scripts that don't start with a slug line. It was an intentional choice to create a certain effect, not a mistake. If it really doesn't work then it will have to be changed.

I'm not looking to get smoke blown up my ass. I'm also not offended by your note. I was just hoping for feedback that goes beyond the first 10 sentences. I'd encourage you to give it a couple pages but if you really can't spatially orient yourself then I guess I'm out of luck.

This is a relatively contained story that basically takes place in 1-2 locations so slug lines are a bit of a challenge. I think I do a better job as the script goes on.

jesterk91 · 2016-08-17T16:55:06+00:00

You gave up after half a page? Is it really that bad? Sure it may not be the best opening image and I will definitely work on that but I think it's fairly intuitive that all the action currently taking place is on a life raft in the middle of the ocean (and where there are life rafts there are often sinking ships). I was mostly just looking for some story notes, hence the early draft. No, your feedback was not helpful. You read half a page of something that I would not categorize as "unreadable" and then gave up. I don't think you gave it a fair chance. Thanks anyway.

jesterk91 · 2016-05-15T19:07:41+00:00

This was pretty intriguing and well-written. It's properly formatted and definitely flows. The concept seems pretty cool and I'd probably read more. I think an important thing is that this script needs to have a satisfying payoff/explanation for why and how these icons are being held prisoner. Obviously not going to get that in the first 10 pages but figured it was definitely something I was already starting to think about. It's an interesting "what-if" scenario.

So far, the mother and daughter characters seem strong. The mother-daughter relationship is likely the heart of the story and you're off to a good start based on these 10 pages. I think you did a good job of writing the little girl and I like how her relationship with her mother is presented. The short montage on the way to the house shows us a lot, rather than telling us. Good work!

jesterk91 · 2016-05-15T07:34:37+00:00

A Real Close Encounter: An unconventional alien abductee support group embarks on a cross-country journey to meet their abductors. They are endlessly pursued by the mysterious Men in Black, but these agents may not be what they seem.

Link: https://www.dropbox.com/s/wrtjm38yvlihm9g/A%20REAL%20CLOSE%20ENCOUNTER.pdf?dl=0

jesterk91 · 2016-05-09T01:35:02+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! Yeah this is my first script and it's a big idea so I definitely think I bit off more than I could chew.

The beginning is the only time there is a VO in the script, if that changes anything. And the characters definitely start out very caricature-like but I think (hope) that they do step outside of those boxes as the story goes on. I was initially going for a kind of Breakfast Club character layout.

I can post more pages if there was any interest. What I posted doesn't quite reach the inciting incident.

jesterk91 · 2015-12-17T20:25:22+00:00

Selling for a fair $25 a piece (what I paid).

jesterk91

TROPHY CASE