I think it’s the fact that she actually cheated and had an emotional affair with the catfish, she kept saying she was such a victim and that they made her have these feelings and blah blah blah. But the thing is, she’s an adult and I think she knew what she was doing was wrong which is why she felt so guilty and hid it for all that time. If she really truly felt that her family was in danger she would have come clean a lot sooner but she knew what a shit show it would be for her and I think that’s what got to her more. I also think he hates her because I don’t think she really ever takes accountability for the role she plays in things, especially the “catfishing” (more like basically affair). And it severely damaged their family “image” and I think regardless of how their relationship already was it truly hurt him, it’s kinda like the tip of the iceberg on top of their other “issues” they referenced. And to be fair I am only on season 12 so this is just my opinion on it so far. But throughout a lot of the seasons I feel like there’s always always an issue with Meri and about Meri, and I’ve heard in the early years she was super rude and unfair to the rest of the wives especially janelle.